[ LukeKrist ] The Little Things Called...

09. An Untitled Song

/ Krist Perawat wrote a song call 'Untitled' for a special someone. /

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In a hidden folder on the computer in the studio of Producer Krist Perawat, there was a special audio file, with no lyrics, it was just named 'Untitled, 2023'. That three-minute unfinished song was so special that it couldn't be expressed by words.

Krist, till now, does not want to share it with the public, but its existence was well-known among his friends. Some of his close friends said that it was a song that could make Krist cry every time listening to it, in any circumstances. It was a song that if someone listened to when they just broke up, they would want to drown themselves... Even if they listened to it when they were happy, they would still feel like they were having a heartbreak.

Without lyrics, the song has only melody. 

"Melancholy." His friends summarized the song with just one word.

That song must have a long story.

Let's start with 2023. Why 2023? What does that year mean to him? 

Since entered the industry in 2016, his career has been through many ups and downs. But why did only 2023 have a song named 'Untitled'? He wrote many songs every year and was always excited to share them to fans, but why did he hide this audio file on the computer?

That was a year in which full of things happened - Krist lost everything, then Krist got the world back. In 2023, Krist realized he lost a lot... losing hope, losing direction, losing passion, losing all enthusiasm for the careeer he has always loved, losing the spark in his eyes.

To be honest, Krist already felt exhausted since 2022. 

His small hope was the series "Be My Favorite," which could be seen as his comeback to the Y world after the huge success from SOTUS. He wanted to start all over again with the thing that nurtured him and introduced him to the world.

Even though the filming process was hard, he tried the hardest. 

But then that small hope of his was extinguished when it was on air.

He was still bombarded in hate comments. He felt like he was the reason of the series failure, he felt like he affected others, he felt like even his own fans turned their back to him, he felt like his depression was coming back, he felt like disappearing...

Krist no longer put too much faith in whatever he did, because the harsh life pushed him, a cheerful and carefree boy, to the edge of difficulty too many times. The world was so cruel, making him become suspicious of everything around him.

Then the company made him debut as an official artist with the first single "Call Me" under a label called Riser. However, as expected, no one cared about his song at all. 

They didn't give him the attention he deserved.

Krist collapsed, thinking about giving up. 

Fortunately, before Krist had more negative thoughts, the protagonist of the song "Untitled, 2023" showed up at the right time. That person brought Krist Perawat out of the dark tunnel he had just set one foot in.

The dark-haired guy with the kindest smile that Krist would hardly forget.

"We all struggle in this life. Let's fight together! Whoever gives up first is a baby." Luke said.

Krist didn't want to be a baby. He knew that person was reliable, and he had to admit that he loved being pampered, being wrapped in that person's arms. But Krist was a man as well. He also wanted to be that person's support. If Krist became a baby, that person couldn't rely on him. He didn't like that thought.

That was the most special love Krist Perawat had ever experienced in his life. It was a feeling that couldn't be named, more than friends but less than lovers as they didn't understand each other much enough. 

Somewhere in the middle, but both happily immersed themselves in it.

After months, "Call Me" got viral on the social media platforms, and it became the first music video in his career that surpassed 10 million views. He had a solo tour in Asia and two-day concert in Thailand, which he could only dream about before. He was invited in a musical  after that, and then a countdown concert in Japan on the last days of 2023. Krist Perawat felt like that the world was no longer playing with him. Attended various music events, everyone gradually recognized him as a true artist, a music producer, and of course Krist was the winner of his own race.

But the world out there was not as important as the world that Krist himself got - a company with handsome face and a gentle smile.

2023 marked the days that they met each other, that they worked together in a series called "The Jungle," that they became close friends, that they slowly opened their feelings, and many more moments. No one confessed first. Yet, when looking into each other's eyes, they knew that they could only be connected with the other person and no one else themselves . 

They were pleased with that and have stayed together for two and a half years. 

The day Krist decided to temporarily stop his acting career, he locked himself in the studio built from his own money, writing sheet music on the notation paper instead of making use of the expensive music composition software on the computer like usual.

Because Krist thought that his pure feelings should be kept as the most beautiful memories by his hands. 

That day, in his mind, that gentle smile was the only deem light in the unknown path, that's why the melody was full of sorrow, beautifully heartbreaking. He told himself that even if they were together later, it probably wouldn't be as beautiful as in 2023. 

Krist added some ambiguity of the future to his music. 

Luke Ishikawa never stopped being an actor, while Krist Perawat found peace for himself. He chose to work behind the stage, which he'd never thought he would do back in his glorious days. Being under the spotlight gave him a lot of opportunities but also took away many things from him. 

The hiatus gave him time to look for material to create "Untitled, 2023." One day, Krist sent the audio file to the other members in The Jungle gang to listen to, except only one person.

Off and Lee shared the same thought, just two and a half years have passed but Krist Perawat, that younger brother of them, was getting more mature. Nanon and Mix kept complimenting their brother for his composing skills. After listening to that incompleted song, they - except "you know who" - made an appointment to meet Krist and cried when seeing that familiar figure. Them realized they missed each other so much... 

Time flew fast, the busy life made them become indifferent to each other.

Krist of the 2026 has changed. The mischievous, childish guy back then now spends most of his time in the studio to produce music quietly. 

He had no idea why Luke was aware of that song. 

Maybe it was Nanon, or it could be either Lee or Off, they were really big mouths. 

Luke runs to Krist's studio in the early spring cold weather, wearing only a thin T-shirt and a cardigan.

"Krist... I miss you ~" 

Despite arguments, they are still together like that. Luke still wraps him in his arms tightly. Krist buries his face against the other's chest, breathing him in, forgetting time and place and circumstance and just holding him. 

That feeling is so hard to put it into words...

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/ In the end, Krist Perawat still can stay in the tight embrace of Luke Ishikawa as he used to. /

- END 09 -