𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

1‣ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚

Heartache causes humans to do stupid things sometimes, really stupid things. And, maybe this is how Lee Felix found himself in this loud bombarding music of a club downtown, these flashing red lights, and this desire for escapism. The thing was, Felix; a twenty-three-year-old lovesick boy, had very freshly gotten his heart broken by his boyfriend of two years; Bang Christopher Chan, just last night. He'd come back from a wonderful work dinner and met the sight of his boyfriend sitting on the couch with his head hanging low, he'd struck up a small conversation while taking off his coat and shoes, setting away his belongings, and drinking down a glass of water

Chan remained stoic and hadn't answered him at all, reasonably so growing worried, Felix neared him on the couch and ran his dainty, silver rings-clad fingers in his partner's hair, querying him if he was okay but Chan had smiled up at him instead of giving a reply,  held his hands and removing them from his hair, holding them in his own as he guided Felix on the couch next to him and the blond had obliged, plopping down instantly with apprehension growing in the pit of his stomach

Chan had started the conversation with long words of assurance, the same old speech of 'it's not you, it's me' followed by the same old crap of 'I just don't feel that way for you anymore' and the worst crimes of all; 'we can still be friends, I cherish you a lot'. Felix was shattered, of course, he loved Chan dearly and entirely but I guess when things don't work out all you can do is pack it up and leave. So that's what Chan did, packed it up and left Felix behind in the apartment where they shared all of their dreams and the happiest of their memories.

and the entire night Felix spent lying in the living room, on the cold hard ground, sobbing and dying like he was some bleak creature in desperate need of empathy. The next morning, he'd gotten up, gotten drunk from the leftover bottle of champagne, hit the town and dyed his hair blue, got a dog and a cat because Chan always thought it was too much responsibility, changed the drapes to bright pink because Chan didn't like the color even though he loved it

blasted 2ne1 in the speakers because Chan would often joke about Felix's music taste being generic and he felt upset, ate at that 'unhygienic and unhealthy' taco spot where they didn't use gloves or wash their utensils because Chan always stuck up his nose whenever Felix would mention this place but despite their uncleanliness, their tacos were just so damn good! he did it all, did everything he gave up for Chan in the name of love all while he was drunk off of his face, all in hopes of forgetting that curly-haired man but it was of no use.

Then when afternoon struck and the alcohol wore off, he called his friends and cried his organs out all over again, cried and cried about how bad it hurt and how he wanted Chan back no matter what. His friends; Kim Seungmin and his boyfriend Seo Changbin, had his back. Even though Changbin was more Chan's friend than his' the man still stayed by his side with his boyfriend and comforted him until he passed out from crying and he was endlessly grateful before he lost consciousness. 

when he woke, he was back to wishing he was numb, desperately. So he put on the prettiest outfit he had bought for his upcoming birthday, did his prettiest and sparkliest makeup, and went out because he didn't want to feel that void within him or how it made him cripple from the inside.

Now that he sits on the high stools of this fancy place, he finds himself slowly relaxing as the alcohol strikes every nerve in his body in the best way possible and soothes his aching muscles and bouldering headache. He looked around, eyes foraging around for entertainment as he slowly but carefully, spun on his stool, back no longer facing the vast place that dripped of indulgence, dwindling pleasure, and luxury but instead, turned toward the bar that had a colorful and stunning display of all the alcohol one could ever imagine, bottles of all shapes and sizes stacked on the shelves