𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

11‣ 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙚

Lee Felix was back at his feet, ravishing and drop-dead gorgeous like he had always been, facing the world with his sheer charisma and bold confidence. Never mind the fact that on the inside he felt like dying and definitely would not want to be present here, in this boring meeting that would ultimately bring their team no further than they started. Felix loved his job, loved his work friends, loved his pay, and appreciated his boss a lot, but ever since he had been acquired to work with these certain people, he has grown to dislike waking up every morning and dragging his glammed self to work every day.

it's been seven days in total since he last saw Hyunjin, and he was totally not thinking about him! not as he is sitting on his armchair, surrounded by his colleagues at a big conference table, nope not at all. Not when he makes his way out of the meeting room and down the stairs because his work here is over and his kind boss had given him half days' for the entirety of the month so he could recover from whatever had made him use his sick leave. Not as he gazes outside from the vast windows, in simple terms, Felix was not thinking about Hyunjin

Okay, who is he lying to? surely not himself, his mind had been plagued by Hyunjin's thoughts and he didn't know why. Didn't understand why he kept on dreaming of the man who he knew nothing about, why he kept finding himself dozing off while thinking of Hyunjin and his magnificent touch. It's been lonely, he reminds himself, Chan's absence is driving him insane and that was it, the only reason why Felix was continuously thinking of Hyunjin was that there was no one else to fill the void Chan had left behind.

As the blue-haired steps outside of the tall building, a drop of seemingly water falls on his face and forces him to look up at the sky, dark grey clouds have covered the previously sunny sky and a frown appears on his lips as he sighs heavily. Did it have to rain just when his car was being repaired and he had to take a cab? A pout replaces the frown when he steps backward and inside the building again, sheltering him from the rain that is growing quicker by the second. He had already called a cab but it was five minutes away and he didn't want to stand and wait for that long, so he gazed around, trying to spot his boss somewhere

since it was evening, it meant his boss was leaving as well and if he saw him waiting for his cab he would definitely give him a ride back home. He did that pretty often and Felix was sure his luck would work out in his way today but as his glinting eyes search the entire premise, only unfortunate meets him. He shakes his head and finds himself taking out his mobile phone and scrolling away on social media while waiting for his cab. As he's doing so, a picture pops on his screen and that's when he realizes he still hasn't unfollowed Chan even when Seungmin asked him to block him

agony rips through his chest and a dagger lands in his heart, stopping its beating as he gazes at the wide smile of his ex-lover, his arms around the same man from earlier, the said man's lips on Chan's cheek, a playful picture of a pristine couple and it taints all of Felix's serenity, making his hands shake and breath impossible to inhale or exhale. This was enough of a reminder to tell him how he hadn't healed even the slightest, how he still felt as much for Chan as he did days ago when they were still together.

Shoving the phone back into his pocket Felix focuses on his breathing and tries to push away the sadness and pain in him but it won't go away and he feels like he could fall to his knees, materialize a dark room, and rot in for centuries. And when he thought he had no tears left to cry anymore, one rolled down his cheeks and let him know that his wounds were still bleeding. When a sob tries to tear through his throat he inhales a sharp breath and abruptly wipes his lone tear

his teary gaze darkening and becoming sharper than a dagger's tip, he wanted to disappear and become the same walking dead he had turned into but he wasn't going to let that happen again, even if it took bad coping mechanisms to fight his grief, even if meant he had to return to bad habits like overindulging in alcohol or cigarettes, he would do everything and anything to not let himself cripple. And as the thoughts of running away from this dejection run through his mind, something else apparates through the clouds of his head