𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐦; 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

29‣ 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙

Felix didn't show up—For the first time in Hyunjin's life ever, he was ghosted. For a little context, if you care to listen, it was now the day after the beautiful car ride back home. After the small text, Hyunjin assumed Felix was either too shy to text back or just forgot to, fell asleep, or became busy. He didn't think much of it (he obsessively waited for a text back til his eyelids couldn't stay open any longer) and went to sleep, later when he woke up and got done with work he patiently waited for evening to come.

(he definitely didn't crazily wait for time to pass just so he could see the blue-haired again!) 

Now here he sat, waiting in his car for Felix to pick up his phone so he could ask him if he had been free from work. It was past eight, Hyunjin had texted Felix at seven sharp and questioned if he was free but no response came, the latter didn't even see his text. So Hyunjin didn't say anything further, considering the man must have been busy. He took care of other tasks he had pushed off just to make time for Felix until the pit in his stomach grew too large and he wanted to know if Felix was free yet, if they could see each other yet

he was acting like a petulant teenager and he hated himself for it, he should be mature and noble like he always was. Work was his most important priority and all of his adult life that was the only thing he had thought of, never did he ever put anything or anyone above it, not even himself. And now here he was, running away from his most significant priority and running after someone who felt so close but so far out of his reach instead. Regret starts gnawing at his bones the longer he stares at the dashboard of his expensive car 

How did he ever allow Felix to make him feel so much? Why did he ever allow himself to take that leap and fall into that bed with Felix twice? and then again, and again, and again multiplied by way too many times. He should've stopped the first night, should have never desired Felix again let alone yearn for his attention and presence. It was disgusting and he could feel the revolt deep within his flesh, cutting through his skin, trying to make its way out and shape him into a wrathful monster who tears apart every face it comes across because of his stupid decisions and affection that was an overflowing vessel.

Time ticked, and Hyunjin waited very patiently. Swallowed his anger like he'd swallow liquor, waited and waited, and stayed quiet in his car parked in front of his vast mansion that was hollow from the inside. He wasn't at his penthouse, too busy to arrive back home, so he had taken refuge elsewhere. He had shoved away everything, every single thing that he needed to do just for tonight, and now the clock read 10:00 and Hyunjin was ablaze. 

His calm eyes that were desperate for Felix's sight turned livid, every morsel inside of him was set on fire in sheer anger. And what a goddamned overthrow it was that none of it was directed at Felix, not even a single speck of his rage was directed toward Felix, it was all directed at himself. He was losing his mind, losing his sanity over his own decisions. Angry and furious at himself for ever getting himself involved in this misery

How was he not blaming Felix for this? how was he not already finding out the man's location and shooting through his skull? Hyunjin couldn't even imagine ever doing something like that to Felix, not even in his worst nightmares, and that—that was the overthrow of his empire.

His shaky and infuriated grip clenched around his phone, eyes burning when he looked down at the device and typed in the number he should have dialed ages ago instead of waiting for a flower that was never going to blossom, a flower that was plucked away by the winds of autumn long ago and spring was too far away to help it live again, to breath air into its perished soil again. The line goes off for a second when Hyunjin places the phone against his ear and stares out of the car, watching how beautiful the sky looks and it only adds to his anger