Chapter 1

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Howdy. Here's the new fic, as promised, BUT, I haven't written much of this yet so I can't say when the next chapter will be posted, but I'll try not to take too long. Hope you guys enjoy it <3


I remember being fourteen, sitting in Chloe's bedroom, legs crossed underneath me. Suddenly, I lay back, staring up at her ceiling and sighing like my life was the hardest thing ever. "I want a boyfriend," I said.

Chloe looked up at me over the top of her textbook, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

I could see why she might be surprised. I'd always kept to myself, and she was my only friend. I was the quiet, weird kid that spent most of his time alone- and there was no way I'd ever considered a relationship before. The very thought of it was terrifying. But all around me was love. In the media- television, books, music- it was all so romantic, so intense, that I was starting to feel left out, even at fourteen. Most of the truly good pieces of media I consumed were about love. Epic tales of romance, and bonds so strong they could transcend space and time, and conquer all. I wanted to feel the kind of love that you just can't live without too.

But it was all fiction, and I should have known that, in the real world, it never works out that way.

My first 'boyfriend' came around when I was fifteen. He was from the next town over, and we would meet up at the mall, and wander around together for hours, but he would never hold my hand in public. He told me he wasn't out yet, and I respected that, so I never forced him. In private, he was my first kiss. Three months later, Chloe caught him hanging out with a girl neither of us recognised, and he was holding her hand. When I confronted him, he told me he'd realised he was straight after all.

My second boyfriend was nine months later. He was the only other gay guy out at school, and so naturally we ended up together, no matter how incompatible we might have been. After less than two months, I'd realised I actually couldn't stand him, and so I left him.

Then there was Tokio. Tokio was different. I liked him- a lot. From the start, we clicked, and I fell in love with him before I even realised what was happening. I started to think that maybe I had found what I was looking for. He cared for me, looked after me, made me feel special, and so I gave him my whole heart. I opened myself up to him completely, and he became the only person other than Chloe to truly know me. I met him almost a year ago.

And now I'm hiding in the toilets at school, hyperventilating, hand over my mouth to try to stop myself from making any noise as the tears stream down my cheeks, because Tokio just broke up with me via text. I'm sorry Goh, but this just isn't working for me anymore. I think it's better if we break up.

The main door swings open, and Chloe calls out my name. The fact that she's entered means there's nobody else in here, so I unlock the cubicle and step outside, wiping my eyes, trying to pull myself together. Chloe, four inches shorter than me, wraps her arms around my middle and tucks her head against my chest. "What happened?"

"Tokio broke up with me," I say, struggling to control my breathing. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but it kind of feels like my life is over. After almost a year, I have to go back to being on my own? I lose the one person I truly care about other than Chloe and my parents? How is that fair?

"He called you?" she asks, pulling away.

"Text," I hiccup, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. Chloe's face darkens.

"That asshole," she hisses. "I'll kill him when I see him. Oh, Goh, I'm so sorry. I know you love him. Maybe he just isn't the one for you."

"Maybe nobody is," I say glumly, leaning back against the nearest sink, the porcelain digging into my thighs.

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