The Sun and The Moon (SatoGou)

Chapter 10

At school the next day, I see May but no Serena. May keeps her head high, holding anyone's gaze that dares to stare at her. I'm not sure if anyone else notices, but I do- she's wearing a bracelet that Serena always wears. It feels like confirmation that they're a thing, and she doesn't care if people know. Of course, it shouldn't be a big deal, but there's never been a lesbian couple at our school, never mind two of the most popular girls. People don't know how to keep their mouths shut.

I ask Chloe at break if she wants to see a movie with Ash and Dawn, and it looks like she almost passes out, but she agrees. I know she'll work herself up about it, spending forever thinking about what she might wear, what she might say. I know we have to admit to them that she knows about their fake relationship, but I'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Ash chooses the movie. It's a superhero film, which isn't usually my thing, but I end up liking it. I like Dawn, too. Sure, she makes me a little nervous, but that's on me, not her. I had worried Chloe would be anxious, but she seems to open right up around Dawn. After, the four of us go out for food, and the two of them sit chatting away the whole time, almost forgetting Ash and I exist altogether.

Ash drops them both out after and stays out with me, driving around the coast. By the time he drops me off, it's almost midnight. When I climb into bed that night, I feel happier than I've felt in a long, long time, and it's Ash that I have to thank for that. When I'm with him, he makes every bad thought disappear. It feels like my whole chest gets lighter, and I can't help but smile.

Then, at school the next day when we're sitting in the common room, I notice Gary place his hand subtly on top of Ash's between them on the sofa, squeezing it. My heart plummets down to my stomach, and I look away, but I can see out of the corner of my eye that Ash doesn't pull his hand away. He just carries on chatting to Dawn on his other side, like he hardly notices.

It's impossible not to torment myself about it. I can't help but think that every memory I have with Tokio is something Ash and Gary have experienced together too, and then I feel a deep, burning jealousy. I sit in the classroom during the next period and rest my chin in my palm, tapping my pen against my page, staring ahead at nothing until Misty gets pissed off and snatches the pen out of my hand. At lunch, Gary playfully throws his arm around Ash's shoulder and shakes him, saying something that makes him laugh. I know it's Gary's way of showing that Ash is his. It makes my chest feel tight, and like my heart is starting to crack inside it.

Misty comes to sit beside me, and watches too, sighing. I had almost forgotten that the two of us are the only people that know besides Chloe, and maybe Dawn, if Ash has told her.

Then, I hear the sound of another chair scraping, and turn to see May taking the seat opposite me, looking nervous. It takes a moment for it to register that she's sitting here. I've never spoken to May in my life. She seems the same as Ash- loud and bubbly, but with an added fiery temper. She's always just hung around their group. And now she's sitting here.

"Hi," she says, smiling sheepishly. "Can I sit here?"

"Hi, May," Misty says cheerily.

"Sure," I say. "We don't mind."

Chloe is in a lunchtime club, or else she'd be as confused as I am. May starts picking at her lunch, the smile fading from her face, and I feel the urge to say something supportive, but I can't think of what.

"I heard about you and Serena," Misty blurts out. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was going to come out at some point," she says, trying to smile. "I think Serena is taking it hard though. She won't even respond to my texts."