Right Here

Chapter 8

By the time Monday came around, I was still in disbelief that Baekhyun and I really slept together again. It seemed surreal but I didn't feel any other way about it. No regret, no longing, no anxiety. It was kind of strange, but I was grateful for the peace of mind. I believed him when he said we would be good afterward. We were fine the first time so this time shouldn't be any different. It was something we both seemed to need in the moment and that was it. However, that didn't stop me from biting my lip at the replay from that night that kept popping into my head. Like last time, I hoped enough time would pass before I saw him again so I wouldn't melt into a puddle from the too fresh memory.

That didn't seem to be a problem though. It was now Thursday and I had yet to see or hear from him. Just like the previous week. Junmyeon was near radio silent as well which meant the merger issue was still in full swing. I sent daily encouraging texts to Junmyeon and reminders to eat. He responded to some and others he wouldn't. I suspected he was swamped with work as time was dwindling down. It was late afternoon and I was getting ready to send a text to Junmyeon when my door burst open, startling me enough to drop my phone on the floor.
"No more merger!" Junmyeon cheered, arms thrown into the air and huge grin on his face, showing off his sparkling teeth. His eyes twinkled with joy.
"You guys did it?" I stood excitedly. He nodded and I hurried around my desk to give him a hug. "Congratulations."
"Sehun wants to get drinks tonight to celebrate." He said. "Come with us?"
"The two of you should celebrate. You're the one who did all the work."
"He wants you to come." Junmyeon frowned.
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not. I'll show you the text right now." He pulled out his phone and I laughed, stopping him.
"Okay, fine, I believe you." I said.
"So?"
"I'll come." His wide smile returned.
"Great, I'll meet you back here after work and we can go together." He said. I nodded and gave him another congratulatory hug before he left my office. I returned to my seat with a smile. I wondered if I should congratulate Baekhyun as well. Was that even appropriate? Especially given what happened? As I picked up my phone, there was a light tap on my door before it opened. I stopped breathing.
"Hey." Jongin smiled softly. I couldn't bring myself to respond. There were too many thoughts flying through my head at once but the most prominent one was wondering what he was doing in my office. "You...didn't come Friday." Something in my chest ached a bit at the dejected look on his face. As if he had been looking forward to it. Actually hoping I would show up before I crushed it all.
"No." I didn't know what else to say. I felt my palms starting to sweat as the anxiety begun to set in. "I...couldn't." If possible, he looked even more sad, but nodded anyway.
"I figured." He said. "I didn't expect you to, but I can't lie and say I didn't hope you would." I didn't want to hear that. It just made me feel even more awful. While I was...with Baekhyun, he was waiting patiently at a restaurant only to be stood up. I couldn't even say he deserved it even if he probably did. I felt sick that I didn't even feel guilty about it until this moment. "I wish you gave me a chance to really apologize, but I get it. I already put you through so much so it makes sense why you wouldn't trust me." I really didn't want to hear this. "I just came to let you know that I'm not going to stop trying. I really do still care about you and I...I feel horrible about what happened between us. I hope you know that." His eyes glistened and I felt like I was going to throw up. "At this point, you don't even have to forgive me. I just want you to know how I feel. That I'm truly remorseful and I still lo-." He stopped himself and I stopped breathing again. He held onto my gaze and stood up straighter, looking more sure of himself before he spoke again. "I still love you." Those words hit me like a train. During our on and off stint in the past, he would throw that phrase around whenever he was trying to win me over again. The same determination in his voice yet this time, he sounded sincere. All of this was making my head spin. I was grateful when he wished me a good weekend and left my office. I was now glad I agreed to drinks with Junmyeon.

"We are not talking about my non-existent love life right now." I said, gulping down my cosmo.
"Oh, come on. I want to hear more about this Jinyoung guy." Sehun urged. I glared at Junmyeon and he looked flustered.
"Sehun I told you not to say anything." Junmyeon groaned.
"Oops." Sehun shrugged. "Now tell me more."
"There's nothing really to tell." I shrugged and picked up a spring roll. "We've been chatting here and there but that's as far as it goes."
"Because he's in San Fran, right?" Sehun said. I nodded. "Do you guys just text?"
"We've talked on the phone."
"Video calls?" He asked. I shook my head and he raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"He's real."
"I'm sure he is but seeing as though you may not see him in person for a long time, it's good to know up front before you drag this on." Junmyeon just sat quietly as Sehun and I spoke. He had a point. I wasn't concerned that I was being catfished because he seemed genuine enough. But I guess they all seem that way in the beginning.
"We'll talk soon." I dismissed. He nodded. "Let's talk about your relationship. It's more interesting than my drab life." I said. They laughed.
"There's nothing much going on." Junmyeon said. "We finally locked down a venue and are finalizing the guest list before we start sending out the save the dates."
"Ooh, that's exciting." I clapped happily. "When are you getting married?"
"Next October." Sehun answered.
"Popular wedding month." I said.
"It is, and we were nervous that we wouldn't get the place but we were lucky. Thanks to Sehun's connections." Junmyeon smiled fondly at him.
"Not only my connections." Sehun rolled his eyes. "He always forgets that he works for the biggest law firm in the city and directly with the big bosses."
"Says the model for the top brands in the world." Junmyeon rolled his eyes in return.
"Damn, I can't believe I'm friends with celebrities." I said. They laughed. "Thanks for letting me crash your celebration."
"You were invited. You didn't crash." Sehun corrected.
"I appreciate it regardless." I said. They smiled warmly.
"What are you wearing to the holiday mixer tomorrow night?" Sehun changed the subject.
"I wasn't planning on going." I said. It was just another company event that I would gladly miss.
"Why not?" Sehun frowned. It was too much to explain so I settled on a shrug. "That's not an answer. Come on, let's go." Sehun stood up and both Junmyeon and I looked at him confused.
"Where are you going?" Junmyeon asked.
"We are going to go help her find a dress because that has to be the only logical reason she's not going." He said.
"I have dresses, I just...don't want to go." I said. Sehun sat back down.
"I've been to countless company events because this man loves to socialize and I have to be there to beat everyone off with a stick. Out of all of his co-workers, you are my favorite so please come so I can have something to look forward to for once." He said. I couldn't help but laugh. Junmyeon frowned.
"They're not that bad." He defended.
"Yeah right." Sehun and I said in unison.
"It's fun for you because everyone loves you." I said.
"People would love you too if you gave them a chance to get to know you." Junmyeon said.
"Hard pass." I said.
"You don't need to let them get to know you. Just come tomorrow so we can shade your co-workers and drink free alcohol." Sehun said. As tempting as that was, I was still skeptical.
"I'll think about it." I said. He did not look remotely satisfied by my answer, but somehow he knew that was all he was getting, so he nodded. The table was quiet for a bit before Junmyeon spoke up.
"I've decided to take the bar." Sehun and I both turned to him with our jaws dropped.
"You what?" Sehun asked.
"I'm going to take the bar." He said with a smile. "Not sure when though. I still have to study and all so it may not be for a while, but I'm going to do it." Sehun just threw his arms around him.
"That's great news." I gushed.
"What made you change your mind?" Sehun asked.
"I dunno." He shrugged. "Maybe it was this whole thing with the merger. After it was all said and done both Zhang and Doh said they appreciated my input and some other things that just got me thinking."
"Like how you basically saved the entire firm?" Sehun said. Junmyeon laughed.
"I didn't."
"But you kinda did though." I added.
"See?" Sehun tacked on. "But that doesn't matter. I'm so proud of you." He smiled fondly and gave him a kiss. It was sweet and chaste, but it didn't stop me from overreacting.
"Alright, check please. Time to call it a night." They laughed.
"One more round then we can get out of here grandma." Sehun joked.
"So we know who's paying." I teased. I was really glad I agreed to go out.