Right Here

Chapter 18

Jongin was flirting. It was subtle – so subtle – but it was there. He would compliment my hair or my makeup, telling me I always looked good without it but on another level when I decided to get "dolled up". He would tell me whatever color I was wearing that day looked great on me. He would gaze a little too long and give me that smoldering look. It was brief, but I caught it. He would ask me to grab a quick coffee or lunch whenever Junmyeon, Anya, or Baekhyun didn't find me first. Our conversations got longer. It didn't feel strange to be around him again so it was just a matter of time before I crumbled and agreed to go to dinner with him. It was only two and a half months since we started speaking to each other again. Two and a half months was all it took for him to dissolve my guard.
"You did what?" Baekhyun stopped mid stroke and leaned over so he could look at my face. I looked back at him and smiled sheepishly.
"I agreed to go to dinner with Jongin."
"Brielle-." I felt him starting to pull out but I clenched around him. His grip tightened on my hips.
"No, don't stop."
"But-." I pushed back against him and he sucked in a sharp breath before giving in and finding his pace again. "You...are evil."
"Learned from you – oh, right there." I arched my back more as he pushed in deeper. I bit my lip and moaned loudly when he went faster. Jolting my entire body forward.
"What. Part. Of. Stand. On. Your. Word. Don't. You. Under. Stand?" He punctuated each word with a sharp thrust.
"Baekhyun." I moaned.
"You're so stubborn." His hand went around my neck and he pulled me up so my back was against his chest. He slowly squeezed as he continued to drive into me. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but I didn't want him to stop. "You're weak for him, aren't you?" I shook my head because I couldn't formulate words. "Don't lie. You want him back. Don't you?" He relaxed his grip around my neck and I gasped, falling limp against him. He took my hands in his and leaned me over, placing my hands on the headboard, intertwining our fingers. "You better not let him fuck you over." He said lowly in my ear before tugging on it with his teeth. He started to slam into me.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." It only took a few more thrusts before I came. He was quick to follow. "Baekhyun...the fuck was that?" He was slumped over me, breathing just as heavily. He chuckled and kissed my shoulder before pulling out.
"That was good huh?" He dropped down on the bed and I slid down, not having the energy to hold myself up anymore.
"What the hell has gotten into you?"
"No idea if we're being completely honest." He shrugged. The look in his eyes told me he meant that. It was like he was momentarily possessed by jealous boyfriend energy.
"Did I do the right thing?" I asked, timidly. Although he seemed to have gotten carried away in the moment, his words still stuck. He held my eye contact for a moment before shrugging.
"That's not for me to decide." He said. "You need to do what's best for you and what makes you happy. If this is what you want, then I want it for you." My heart squeezed a bit in my chest. I looked away from him. "Do we need to start using condoms again?"
"I don't want him." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"It's okay if you do."
"He hurt me too much."
"People change and he's shown you that he has. If you didn't believe that, he wouldn't have gotten this far." He said. "If I know one thing about you, I know that when you're done with something, that's it. Maybe in your past you gave second or third chances, but you've changed. You've grown and you know better now." I was starting to hate his advice. He made too much sense. "It's okay to be scared or hesitant, but don't hold yourself back because of it, especially if it's what you want." I groaned and covered my face with my hands. He pulled them away and kissed my cheek. "You'll be alright." He sat up. "Hungry?" I nodded.
"I need the greasiest burger in existence with a shit ton of fries." I said. He laughed.
"I'll order. Go get cleaned up."

It was Saturday night. The night I agreed to have dinner with Jongin. I was rightfully nervous and nothing I did calmed me down. I purposely kept this from Junmyeon because he would only get me more worked up, especially if the news got to Sehun. And I kept it from Anya because it would leak to Junmyeon which would then mean it would get to Sehun. He really was who I was afraid of. I'm sure he would have some choice words for me and he would be right. I felt nauseous. That should have told me to cancel, but ever so stubborn, I ordered my ride that took me right to Miz. Fancier than the other places he took me recently but not as fancy as the restaurants he used to take me to. A happy medium.