Right Here

Chapter 12

I opted to work from home when Monday arrived. I was still stuck on all that transpired over the weekend. I still couldn't believe that Jinyoung broke up with me and in such an...insulting way. I almost wished he cheated because at least that would make it clear how he felt about me. I would have known there was absolutely no hope for us. But with his actual reasoning, it still left me confused. There were no signs of disinterest. The biggest thing was not being able to see each other but he seemed apologetic that it wasn't working out. It really felt as if the breakup came out of nowhere. I tried to not dwell on it, but it was hard not to. Just another person proving that I wasn't worth their time or affection and there was nothing I could do about it. That realization stung. Even with Baekhyun's kindness, it wasn't enough to patch the hole that kept reopening.

It was hard to focus on work. I spent most of the day staring through the window at the rain that was coating the city. The dark grey clouds making it look later than it actually was. The assault of rain drops kept a steady beat against the window that was calming. I took a breath and pulled my attention away from the window, focusing on my laptop as a new email came in. I did my best for a solid hour, completing various assignments and following up on numerous emails before my brain had enough. I shut my computer and fought the tears that were threatening to hit me again for the fifth time since I woke up. I needed a drink. As I got up to my kitchen, my phone vibrated on my coffee table. I picked it up and saw it was Junmyeon calling. I contemplated answering, not really wanting to talk about it, knowing he would pry it out of me somehow. At the same time, may as well rip the band-aid off again while it was still fresh.
"Hello?"
"Hey, came down to your office to bother you but Jamie said you didn't come in today?" He sounded worried and it just made knots form in my stomach.
"Yeah, working from home." I said, pulling my chilled wine from the refrigerator.
"Is...everything okay? You hate working from home." I bit my cheek, feeling the tears stinging just from thinking about saying anything.
"Everything is fine." I searched the drawer for my bottle opener.
"Is there a follow up or...?"
"It's nothing. Just didn't feel like coming in today, but I still had work to catch up on so I didn't want to completely take off."
"Uh huh." He clearly didn't sound convinced. I put my phone on speaker and set it on the counter as I fiddled with the bottle opener to get the cork open. "Well, I just wanted to check in."
"Thanks." The cork came out with a pop. I should have waited until I hung up. I had too much hope that it would be quiet.
"Brielle..." Junmyeon's judgmental voice was on now. "What was that?"
"Wine." I said confidently, pouring a generous serving.
"It's three o'clock in the afternoon." He said dryly.
"Your point?" I took a gulp of the sweet red.
"Did something happen?"
"I'm fine Junmyeon."
"That's not what I asked."
"Nothing happened."
"Too late. See you tonight." Before I could get another word out, he hung up. I let out a huff and downed half of the glass before returning to my couch. I opted to turn on my television rather than get back to work. I barely did anything all day so ending two hours early wouldn't make much of a difference, being as though I probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway. I snuggled under my throw blanket and watched pastry chefs put together ginormous cakes and other delicacies as the clock ticked away. Four episodes down and two glasses of wine later, there was a firm knock on my door. I dragged myself to my feet, turning on my lamp on the way to the door after realizing how dark my apartment had gotten. I already knew who it was so I didn't bother looking through the peep hole before pulling the door open.
"We brought Italian." Sehun said waltzing in. Junmyeon followed with a wide grin and I just rolled my eyes at him, closing the door behind him. They took off their shoes and coats, Junmyeon dropping the wet umbrella in the umbrella holder before joining his fiancé at the table to start unpacking the contents from the two large bags.
"You guys did not have to do this." I said.
"Mmhm. I'm going to go wash my hands and grab plates." Sehun said disappearing into the kitchen.
"Come sit." Junmyeon said, pulling out a chair for me. I sighed and did as he asked, dropping down into the chair. I wasn't really hungry before but the pleasant aromas coming from the boxes on the table was starting to make my mouth water. Junmyeon excused himself to the restroom and Sehun returned with plates and utensils.
"How was your day?" He asked as he set out the items.
"Fine." I replied. "How was yours?"
"Fantastic actually but we're not here to talk about me." He smiled. I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed. He started to open up the food. "We didn't know what you were in the mood for and knew you wouldn't answer us so we got lasagna and penne a la vodka, salad, and garlic bread. For dessert, triple chocolate lava cake."
"I love you." I said.
"Of course you do. Now which one?"
"Lasagna please." I was in the mood for something very cheesy. Cheesy foods always brought me comfort and I was in desperate need of some. He took the spatula and gave me a heaping serving.
"Why did you order an entire tray?" I asked.
"We didn't know the level of the situation so we figured you could have some food for a day or two." He said ever so casually. I shrunk a little in my seat. Junmyeon returned from the restroom. He went into the kitchen and re-joined us with three wine glasses and my bottle opener. From one of the bags that were set aside, he pulled out two bottles of red wine. "Babe, which one?" Sehun asked.
"The penne."
"How are things at the office?" I asked, wanting to divert the attention for a bit. I knew they would grill me sooner or later.
"Uh, it's a bit hectic." Junmyeon answered. "Apparently news broke over the weekend about Globaviation trying to pull out so Yixing had me working with Baekhyun and Jongdae on solutions." He popped the cork on one of the bottles and poured. "You were right about working with them. They're nice guys and know their shit."
"You guys come up with anything?" I asked. He and Sehun got settled in their seats when all plates and glasses were filled.
"The only reason they were pulling out was because a competitor was trying to give them a sweeter deal but we think we came up with something that could help keep them with us." He said. "I mean, it was mostly Jongdae and Baekhyun since they were apparently working on it all weekend."
"I figured they would be. He seemed really stressed about it when the news came in." I said taking a bite of the lasagna. It melted in my mouth.
"You...what?" Junmyeon tilted his head at me in question and I realized where I messed up. Maybe three glasses of wine was to much. The silence was heavy.
"Am I...missing something?" Sehun asked, looking back and forth between the two of us. I was surprised Junmyeon didn't tell Sehun as soon as he found out. I took another large mouthful of lasagna and Junmyeon glared at me.
"He seemed stressed? So you were there when the news broke?" He asked. I nodded, swallowing. "Why were you with him over the weekend?"
"Okay, so now I know I'm missing something." Sehun set his utensils down. I could have lied. I don't know why I didn't. My mind was swirling. I gave in.
"I was over his place Saturday morning when he got the news from Jongdae because...I spent the night." I said. Sehun's eyebrows turned inward as he seemed to be trying to piece together a puzzle.
"Brielle." Junmyeon sighed, running his hands over his face. "I knew it. I knew this whole thing with Baekhyun wasn't going to end well. What about Jinyoung?" He looked disappointed.
"Woah, wait, time out, pause." Sehun said. "What thing with Baekhyun? And yes, what about Jinyoung?" He suddenly gasped. "Did you sleep with Baekhyun?"
"No."
"No?" They both said in unison. I closed my eyes and massaged the spot between my eyebrows, knowing the tears were going to make an appearance before finally explaining.
"Jinyoung broke up with me Friday night and I was so messed up about it, like a dumbass, I went to Baekhyun. But nothing happened." I said. "He made me food and let me stay over – separate rooms – and then he made breakfast. News broke and I left as soon as it did."
"Brielle." Junmyeon's tone was much softer and coated with concern.
"I'm so sorry. Why did he break up with you?" Sehun asked. I took a sharp inhale and went over everything. As expected, tears fell. Sehun held my hand and Junmyeon handed me tissues.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Junmyeon asked.
"Wasn't ready to talk about it." I shrugged.
"Sorry for forcing it out of you." Sehun frowned.
"It's fine. You would have found out sooner or later." I replied. Sehun pulled me into a hug and Junmyeon joined. I laughed but finally exhaled, enjoying the warmth.
"Guys, I'm – I'll be okay." I said.
"We know." Junmyeon said as they returned to their seats. "Still won't stop us from worrying about you."
"I appreciate it. Really." I smiled at them and they reciprocated the gesture.
"Don't mean to continue to prod but I feel like I missed a chapter. When did this thing with Baekhyun happen?" Sehun asked.
"They apparently first hooked up last summer and started this friends with benefits thing the end of last year but broke it off when she first started dating Jinyoung."
"And how come I didn't know about this?" Sehun shot daggers at Junmyeon.
"Wasn't my business to tell. Plus, I just found out, what, last month?" Sehun continued to glare but slowly started to eat again. "Anyway, his loss."
"His reasoning was ridiculous. You deserve better. He clearly wasn't serious about the relationship." Sehun said.
"Yeah..." I poked at my lasagna. "But...what is wrong with me?" I dropped my fork and put my face in my hands.
"There is nothing wrong with you." Sehun tried.
"I haven't been in many relationships – Jongin was the longest and he didn't even want me." I sniffled, wiping the tears away. "Kept playing with my feelings and cheating so there was obviously something he didn't like about me. And then Jinyoung straight up told me that there was something wrong with me which is why we didn't work out. He said it wasn't anything I can fix so if I can't fix it, how do I expect to end up in a relationship?"
"Okay, Brielle, there is nothing to fix. You don't need to be fixed. You are such an amazing person." Sehun said. "I hate to say it but even though Jongin cheated, he kept coming back so obviously there was something wrong with his ability to commit. That has nothing to do with you."
"Sehun's right." Junmyeon tacked on. "And with Jinyoung, he must have just been confused with what he wanted. He went in thinking one thing and was just to scared to admit that it didn't work out the way he expected. Honestly, that's okay." He said. "He probably wasn't in the right space to be in a relationship and instead of taking a step back, he forced himself into it out of fear of whatever."
"Apparently I was the one who forced him into a relationship." I scoffed, wiping my nose with a tissue.
"Unless you held a knife to his throat and kept his parents hostage, bullshit." Sehun said dryly. This got a little laugh out of me. They were all nice words to hear but of course it was hard to actually believe it. I've spent years being shown one thing and believing in it wholeheartedly because all of the evidence is there, it was going to take a hell of a lot more than a few kind words and a delicious dinner to dispel all of that.