Eve

chapter three

I opened my notebook. Then I didn't write anything. There was nothing I could do.
I decided to go shopping. Maybe I'll feel better if the air hits the cabbage.
But I had to eat something before I left. I was starving. I didn't have anything in the fridge. It's not like I don't have the money to buy. I just buy a little. Maybe enough to feed me in a day or two.
I put my coat on my coffee pants and kicked it out of the house by dropping the warm scarf My mother had given me.
I got to the first sandwich shop on the street and bought a hot dog and ate it, even though I didn't like it, but I ate it to the end. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you like it or not you do it anyway. You have to do it.
I bought them and put them in my cloth bag. 
It was very cold. However, I did not return home. I was walking the street aimlessly. If someone was on the other side or looking through the window of their blood, they would definitely have imagined that I was lost or came to do something bad.
I was walking on a sidewalk full of trees. My hands were frozen, but I kept going through a lot of stupidity.
We humans are used to stupidity. Especially simple, weak people who never use their brains.
I sat on a bench. There was a girl next to me looking up at the sky. She had beautiful green eyes, and her hair was the color of the Nescafe, which was served in the morning near the city theater. I used to go there a lot. There was my post-college hangout. 
The polyurethane was her color and she had a black hat. There were leather boots.
She was so overwhelmed that she didn't even notice my arrival. Maybe she didn't care if anyone was sitting next to him.
Suddenly she said, " how tall is it?"
I said, " what?"
She lowered her head. She showed herself as if she had just found out I was by my side. So if she didn't know I was here, she was talking to herself. She's lucky I'm by my side. Someone like him. I mean, I talk to myself.  If anyone else, she would have thought devons.
She looked me in the eye: "heaven..So where's the end?"
I said, "it never ends"..Haven't you seen these space documentaries?"
Girl: "why did I see it, but who says it's true? Who says everything they say is true?. These powerful people have made everyone their own slave.. They teach you everything they want."
She reminded me of someone. Someone who loved theory and hypotheses. Someone who was always looking for a good listener to listen to.
I agreed with her a little.
I said, " Well, what do you think he should do? You can't just ignore everything."
Girl: "I'm not saying he was ignorant..I say you have to discover it yourself."
Me: "not everyone can go to space."
Girl:" no, look, everyone is interested in something.. Not everyone wants to read space..Anyone who goes after their passion and discovers it."
She said it well. I agreed with her. But I didn't say anything. I took off my cigarette and lit it with a lighter.
It was clear from her face that she wanted to talk again, but she didn't want to make herself look like a talkative person, and my ears were tickling me to hear.
I asked her " what do you think?" About this world. Why are we alive?"
She looked at me. It was like she was so happy to hear my question.
Sh said, "Well, well..Who said We must be alive? Maybe we're all dead and we don't know.
Maybe not as you say, we're alive. To affect the lives of others. To write our own lives. To create different stories."
Me:" story for who? For whom are we playing on this screen?"
Girl: "maybe God.."
Me: "Do you believe in God?"
Girl: "yeah almost..Not like everyone else..Not like Muslims and Christians and Jews..My own model. They say God created us to serve him and be good people..But I say, what does a god that they say is perfect need to be praised? We're created to worship him..Why all these people? Why don't those who don't worship disappear?  God created us to gain experience. From our lives, from everything..Now the reason he wants to gain experience can be different. He may be bored or maybe he really has a purpose. I'm not clean enough to know that."
I enjoyed talking to her. But I had to go because my heart's ventricles were grinding from the cold.
"I have to go. Thank you for speaking up. What's your name?"
Girl: " (sana)..haveva good day."
I said goodbye and walked home.