Eve

chapter sixteen (last)

It's been a week. I was sitting alone in my white room. I was thinking. I made my decision. I didn't want to be anymore. What's here. What's out of here. Those pills were starting to work.
I don't remember what the third night we went to that French restaurant and had chicken soup and Caesar salad was.
Eve's memories are my only joy and hope. If I'm going to forget them, I'll forget them myself. I remember who I was. Who am I? And I don't want to make a new man. A person I don't know. No one knew him. A man who breathes in vain like a normal man.
I had to plan, but before I killed myself, I had to do a few things I wanted to do before I died.
The nurse who brought me food, I asked her: " Can you bring me a canvas and paint?"
At first, she was surprised, but after a few moments, she said, and went out.
Several minutes later Sims came in. With a canvas and a box that I was guessing were colors and brushes.
Sims: "I heard you want to paint."
I confirmed it.
He gave me stuff.
I sat down and prepared the supplies. I read his face, he wants to know how to draw. Or maybe I thought so.
I said, "I learned to paint from my grandfather. He was a skilled painter. When I was young, I only painted for Eve..now I want to paint her.."
He sat next to me. He said, "I'm looking forward to seeing this, the angel of beauty"
I smiled, I started.
First her dazzling eyes. Her eyes were the hardest part. I still wondered how God designed such a work of art. Her eyes finished, I looked at Sims. I saw him asleep. Her face was tired. Her face was very tired.
I went back to painting. I drew her beautiful face. That perfect nose. Those lips like roses. I was smiling all the time. After a while, I got a taste of spiritual pleasure.
I went to her hair. Her long and caressfull hair. Then there are the rest of her body parts. The dress I chose for my painting. The dress was the first time we saw each other.
I drew nature behind her. A winter nature. Eve was as free and immersive as nature. Like a beautiful and desirable winter.
Sims, awakened. The exact moment we finish the painting.
I asked him what he thought. He liked it and he said a lot. Elite I advised him that it was just painting and I didn't get  bit too close to Eve's beauty at all.
Then I asked him to take me out to see around. He accepted.
We went to the yard. I saw Tia there, and I went to her like Sims and the rest of the PhDs didn't understand.
She was nearly six years younger than me. Because of mental health problems.after her father drowned in the sea, she was brought here in front of her eyes.
I went to him.
I said, " How Are you?"
Tia: "well, thank you."
Me: "if I tell you something, you promise not to tell anyone."
She shook his head.
I said, "Say you promise".
Tia: "okay, I promise."
Me: "I'm going to die soon. I wanted to kiss a girl's lips before I died. A girl who's very pretty and not delusional. From what I've learned, you're not pretty or delusional."
Her cheeks flushed.
Tia: "why are you going to die?"
Me: "I want to kill myself."
It's like She got  heartbroken. It was like she thought I was soulmate and now she was heartbroken.
He said, " why?"
Me:' I don't want to forget Eve but they make me with pills and devices."
Tia: "okay. Kiss me before the doctors see us.."
And I kissed her. The wind is cool. She obviously didn't know how to kiss. It was like her first time. I felt sorry for her to experience her first kiss with a delusional lunatic who's about to die.
When I left her, her cheeks were redder than before.
I thanked her and got up. The weight of her sad look followed me to the entrance of the Hall.
I told one of the nurses he could bring me ice cream.
I want to taste ice cream before I die.
I enjoyed spoon after spoon and felt the taste with all my being.
I got a poison blade a sharp thing.. from one of the dealers in the hospital. No one was looking for me, but it was in my underwear for caution.
It was night. Nine o'clock and ten minutes. A rebbe to the time of Eve's death. I wanted to die that moment. I couldn't kill myself in my room because it had a camera. I couldn't even take the razor off.
I called the nurse.
I said, "I'm going to take a bath".
Nurse: "what?"
Me: "I last bathed two weeks ago and you wouldn't let me get out of here at all and smell like shit.."
Nurse:" all right, all right..Come on, go, but do your work soon, because it's night."
Okay, I said, and I got up. He gave me towels and shampoo.
When I got in the bathroom, he left. First I opened hot water and then cold water. I didn't want them to know if the blood left me with warm water, and they could save me.
Thanks to Eve, I know about medicine and sensitive areas, the body. First I cut my wrist and then I brought the razor to my neck with the pain and difficulty I had.
I fell. I was in pain, but I had a smile on my face. I didn't care if they'd know in a few minutes. I felt the flow of poison on the razor in all my veins. My pain was getting more and more. I felt like my soul was breaking away from me.
I don't know what happens next. I don't care. Police are likely to come in several times to investigate and file a case. Then they try to finance everything that no one understands and no other crazy people do. I know my mom will be upset. So does Sims. Tia gets upset, too, and maybe Lewis. But I'm happy. I'm seeing Eve. She's happy and smiling too.
People who might be upset with me Will Forget Me after a while. They may not, but the cup goes into the part of their memories that they sigh and pass through.
Anyway, I'm going to Eve.
Maybe after my death my painting of Eve will be down Hall forever and i would be memorable in a mental house ...a Painting of Eve.

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End..