Green Light (GeminiFourth AU)

Chapter 15

4️⃣

I don't really remember what happened after that. I have a vague memory of leaving the closet, stumbling unsteadily, and saying, "I'm going home." But how I got home from Gemini's house was a mystery. I'd left my bike there; at some point I'd blinked and realized I was standing at my own front door.

That...wasn't a dream, was it? I thought hazily to myself, lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling. I traced my bottom lip softly with my index finger. I tried to mimic the sensation I'd felt in that moment, but I couldn't get it to feel quite the same.

No, it was softer, and warmer. The kind of thing you find yourself realizing you want more of-

"No way! I did not just think that!" I hastily sat up, denying the thought out loud.

Calm down and think about this rationally. I took a deep breath, and ran over my memories of the day, trying my best not to writhe in shame as I did so.

First, Gemini had kissed me. When I'd asked him what he meant by it, he'd said "There you have it." In other words, that kiss had not been an accident. Gemini had done it deliberately. He'd also said, "Think about it, if you could." But he didn't tell me the most important things, so I had no clue what he'd been trying to tell me.

Okay, so I could guess. But I couldn't believe it.

Does Gemini like me?

When I'd finally given this question voice in my mind, a rush washed over me from head to toe. I felt like I'd thought something I shouldn't have, and all kinds of emotions were jumbling up inside me, like shyness, and a feeling of too much, like I had to escape. I clawed at my head in confusion.

If Gemini had just said it to me straight, I wouldn't have to go through this confusion, I thought, sulking-but for all I knew, I might have been just as confused if he'd confessed outright.

"There's no use thinking about it. I'm not going to figure it out." I was nothing but sighs and complaints.

Did he take me seriously when I jokingly said "Go out with me"? No, Gemini knew I was just messing with him, so that couldn't be it. So then, what do I think of Gemini? I wasn't grossed out by that kiss. But then, I also feel like that was just because I was so in shock that I couldn't process any feelings about it.

I mean, first of all Gemini is a guy. I've never even considered loving or hating him in a romantic sense. I think of Gemini as a friend, and... For some reason I felt a pang in my heart at that thought.

A friend? Is that all? Is that what I should call this feeling?

Questions were popping up everywhere in my mind, and no matter how many times I answered them, they just sprang up again. Soon, my answers grew feebler and feebler, until finally, I wasn't confident in them anymore.

"What the hell is with this?" I clicked my tongue in irritation, and stood up.

Looking around restlessly, my eyes lit on a rental DVD on my desk that was due back soon. I might as well get some fresh air and try to lighten my mood. Maybe it'll calm me down. I slid the DVD into its case, told my parents downstairs that I was going to the video store, and left.

The cool, night air gradually seeped into my skin as I stood outside on the street. The sky was cloudless and full of stars, and I could see the ones that formed the Summer Triangle I'd learned about years ago in science class. We'd studied all kinds of other constellations, but that was the only one I still remembered.

Gemini had loved watching the stars; he might be able to name more of them. When we were kids, he'd get so geared up for our stargazing sessions he was a totally different person from his usual quiet self. His eyes would sparkle, too.. "Look, Fot, that's Ursa Major!"