Green Light (GeminiFourth AU)

Chapter 20

4️⃣

Starting the next day, I avoided Gemini completely. Everyone around us suspected something was up, since we'd been getting along pretty well lately. Mark in particular wouldn't stop asking me about it. I dodged every single one of his questions, until he finally snapped and dragged me out behind the building after school.

"Hey, did something happen between you and Gemini?" he asked.

"Weren't you the one who told me not to act friendly with him in public? I'm just doing what you said."

"I didn't tell you to fight with him. And you were getting to where you could talk to each other in homeroom. Why are you keeping your distance now?"

"Give it a rest," I spat dangerously.

That lecturing tone didn't sit well with me. "It's got nothing to do with you."

Mark's mood immediately soured. "You're right, I guess it doesn't. And I don't know what the circumstances are, either. But that's still no way to talk to me. This attitude of yours is why you always clash with people. If you don't do something about that personality, you'll be a nuisance to even Gemini, and after he's gone to a lot of trouble for you." He meant for his voice to sting, and it
did.

I didn't need Mark to tell me what a jerk I was. I knew that better than anyone. But hearing it from him, a guy I'd known since elementary school, made it worse.

Am I really that much of a pain in the ass?

"F-Fourth?" When tears started to spill out of my eyes, Mark totally lost it.

Jeez, at times like this, you're supposed to pretend not to notice anything! I wanted to tell him, but my voice was so racked with sobs I could hardly get a word out.

"You don't...have to tell...I'm just a stupid..."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I crossed the line."

Then, mumbling something about not knowing what to do with me, Mark put his arms around me in a hug. Having him treat me so kindly made me cry even harder, and I turned the front of Mark's shirt into a sopping mess. I didn't even care about appearances or my pride anymore. If this is how awful it feels, I should never have let Gemini go.

I'd run away from him because of my fears, but it hurt so badly even after he was gone. The agony showed me exactly how much I liked him, and the regrets piled up.

It was so unbearable. I only wanted to get away from the pain somehow.

Mark stroked my back the whole time. It was the kind of comforting that made me wonder if he was mocking me, but judging from the uncomfortable look on his face, I think he was just at a loss for what to do. I felt a bit guilty, but just this once I took full advantage of his kindness. I had the feeling if I didn't, I'd just crumple to the ground and not be able to get up again.

"You really haven't changed since we were kids." Mark was smiling wryly above my head.

I privately agreed. We stood there until sunset, me crying into Mark's chest.

The exams ended, rainy season passed, and in the blink of an eye, it was summer break. I'd hardly exchange any words with Gemini since that incident in the nurse's office. We'd stopped texting each other, too, and settled into a "classmates who don't have much to do with each other" relationship.

Gemini had been busy with his club since before summer break started, and I knew he'd been doing hard training every day after school. Maybe that was why in class he'd looked pale, and kind of haggard lately. Everyone around him seemed worried, but Gemini just smiled and said he was fine, never taking a break.

When Mark would come to my desk every so often, he'd look at Gemini's desk in front of me with a concerned look. "I wonder if he's really okay. This morning he looks like a ghost!"

"If he says he's fine, he's probably fine."

"Well, I guess..."

Mark heaved a sigh, conceding that the summer heat had him feeling worn out lately, too.

After I'd finished sobbing my guts out that day, Mark had taken me home. It was humiliating that he'd seen me cry, but I was grateful for his comfort. The only thing was, the wound in my heart wasn't easily healed, and I still felt its pangs. I was still depressed when summer break started.

On the first day, I went out and bought a watch. Normally, I hated wearing anything on my wrists, so I would always check the time on my cell phone instead. But now every time I look at it. I couldn't help but wonder if I had a new text message. Though the new-message tone hadn't even rung, I still couldn't quite give up hope. I hated how pitiful that was, so I'd stopped looking at the phone any more than necessary.

I'd never had many friends in the first place, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I just got rid of the phone. I ignored it and devoted my overabundance of free time to homework and DVDs.

But if I stayed home all the time my mom worried about me, so I ended up going out to kill time every so often. As a poor high school student, I naturally had no money, so I always went to the library. Getting a part-time job would be the most profitable way to kill time, but our school had a rule against jobs, and if they found me out I'd be suspended, no questions asked. Some students did it anyway, but I didn't have the guts for that. Even if the chances a teacher would see me were low, it was too dangerous for someone who had as many enemies in class as I did.

And so the first week of my solitary summer vacation passed.

I was enjoying an episode of Buddhist Prayer Rangers: Monkman in the living room when I heard Mom call my name.

"Ta-da! What do you think of your mother's greatest masterpiece, Fot?"

"Huh?" I looked down at the object that had suddenly been thrust into my arms. It was a checkered-pattern yukata made of dark blue cloth. Aha, I thought, the light bulb turning on in my head. Japanese dressmaking was a hobby of Mom's, and every summer she made new yukatas for all three of us-herself, Dad, and me.

Calling them her "greatest masterpieces" every single time was just something she did to be cute, but she really was good, and this was well-done as usual.

"It's a nice shade of blue," I agreed. "And the pattern's restrained, but not too boring. Very smart."

"Isn't it just? I found some great fabric this year, so I really gave it my all. Let's all three of us go see the fireworks together on the weekend!"

I was a little dismayed at how carried away with excitement she was, but I nodded like a good boy. "All right, all right."

To be honest, it was pretty damn embarrassing to still be going to the fireworks with my parents all dressed up in yukatas at my age, but it was part of being a dutiful son. Mom put so much passion into fireworks and yukata-making, if I said I didn't want to go, I might not get lunch for the rest of the summer. "Fireworks, eh?"

I looked at the calendar on the living room wall. The square for the coming Saturday was ringed with flowers, and "Fireworks!" was written there in my mother's handwriting. With forceful strokes, too.

Come to think of it, Gemini had come along sometimes when we were kids. How long ago was the last time? Back then, he'd been forced into his sister's hand-me-down yukata, and he was on the point of tears. When I'd told him he looked cute, he'd fidgeted in embarrassment, and the yukata's narrow sash had fluttered in a way that really was cute. Then he grabbed my sleeve and toddled along unsteadily after me in his clogs. Have I liked Gemini since way back then?

When I thought about it, all I came up with was corroborating evidence, which made me feel gloomy.

TBC