Love Never Loved

•World Shatter, Love

It was one of those days in the Kashana house. The day where smiles would hide themselves in the depths of the earth and urban grief would fall over every living skeleton in the two storey house.

It's utterly terrifying how a person dies and leaves nothing behind, not even the body. You don't get to ever talk to the deceased soul, or touch them or console them or ask for forgiveness. They're dead and gone and you can do nothing to bring them back ever. Will you get to meet them at the day of judgement and ask for forgiveness or share what's been buried in your heart? Will you get to meet them? Will you get another chance?

It was Sarfaraz's death anniversary.

Four days ago the Kashana house was celebrating, welcoming the bride. The guests had left. The once blooming flowers had withered. Now stark silence ate everyone alive as everyone sat in their rooms, reading and reciting.

The warm sun was setting when Silah descended the stairs in her pecan colored shalwar kameez. The long of her veil sliding down each step besides her barefoot as she took careful steps. Too careful to get noticed. She was very vulnerable right now. She didn't want the world looking at her right now but the water bottle in her room was empty and she wanted a refill.

She was grateful that the corridors were empty and so was the living room downstairs. She gulped the cool water down and refilled her bottle. Passing by the doors of the kitchen, her vision caught her disheveled reflection and she gulped sharply but turning away.

She was just walking towards the stairs when the doors in the hall opened. She turned her head seeing the men enter and she froze. Silah watched as her father in law and brothers in law walked in with lowered faces. Their bodies clad in crisp shalwar kameez.

They had returned from the graveyard.

Ferhat looked up and found Silah by the stairs. He walked towards her, his hands trembling. Silah watched with unwavering eyes as he stood before her and gently placed his palm atop her head. The same hand that had touched the grave of Sarfaraz. She closed her eyes tightly. Ferhat's eyes brimmed with tears.

He never know if the pain of losing a young son was greater than losing a spouse at such a young age. No matter what was greater, both were shattering.

He removed his hand and went up to his room. Silah ascended the stairs too but didn't go unnoticed by Altamash. Her bare face was marred by the prominence of the dark circles under her eyes. And her eyes; the eyes that wanted to cry but hadn't.

If only he could soothe all her pain.

As the sun set and the golden sun rays vanished from her room, she fell on the bed. She had checked her phone multiple times to see if Mutahir had called but no he hadn't. Her mother had tho, telling her how sad she was.

As Silah watched the ceiling with her burning eyes, she only thought about how this room was suffocating her today. It had all memories of Sarfaraz's. The countless times they fought. The times they laughed. The times they almost wanted to kill each other in annoyance. It had everything.