1 | so make the friendship bracelets

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February 20th, 2021

I was standing in front of the sink in our master bathroom, tears steaming down my face. My hands were shaking. In them, I was holding a positive pregnancy test. And it was not a faint line. The pregnancy line was the same color as the testing one.

My back hit the door behind me, my knees giving up their job and I slid down, sitting on the cold bathroom floor. My eyes were still wide open.

I could not believe it so I took another one. Positive. What a surprise. There was a baby. A baby growing inside of me right now.

"Taylor! Are you okay?" He came knocking at the bathroom door, which I locked when I first came in. And I've been here for good 30 minutes maybe, taking the tests and then processing the information of the results.

"Yeah." I shouted back. "I'll be out in a minute." I got back up, drying my face from the tears. It was clearly visible that I was crying. My eyes were puffy and red, so the least I could do is get rid of my wet cheeks.

I took a deep breath, putting the tests in the pocket of my sweatpants. I needed to tell him. I would not be able to keep it a secret. I think he knew something was up when I locked myself in the bathroom for 30 minutes. He just didn't know the reason.

"What's happening?" was the first thing I heard when I came out of the bathroom.

My hand reached the pocket of my sweatpants, gripping the inside and pulling them out.

"I'm pregnant." I mumbled quietly and showed him the pregnancy tests in my hand. I finally looked up to face him.

He didn't take them from me. He didn't kiss me and told me that he's excited to be a dad, but I didn't expect that. But he didn't hug me, he didn't tell me that everything's gonna be fine. He just stood there, eyes wide open staring at me.

Tears started to form in my eyes again.

"What do you want to do? You want to keep it?"

That was the last thing I needed to break down in tears and lock myself in the bathroom again.

I kinda knew he would blame it on me. On me not taking my birth control as I should. Yes, it was true in some way, but it takes two people to make a baby.

I was determined to keep it, wheter he would agree to be a part of this or not. Because once I heard the heartbeat and saw that little blop on the screen, I knew I couldn't kill it. I couldn't kill this innocent blop that chose me as their mother. They chose ME to love them, care for them.

He didn't come with me to my first appointment. After I came home from the doctors and I showed him the pictures and told him I will definitely not have an abortion, we had an argument. Which became a regular thing in the next year or so.

• • •

July 30th, 2023

I was woken up by Ellie, sitting in her crib, babbling. I played my last concert in Santa Clara last night, so I went to bed late and wanted to sleep in, but my mommy dutties are calling. My mom offered to take Ell for the night so I could sleep in, but I refused. Even though it was pain in the butt to wake up early in the morning sometimes, I love her with all my heart.

I get up from the comfy hotel bed, walking to her crib. When she sees me, she giggles sweetly with a pacifier still in her mouth. She raises her hands, extending them towards me to signal me that she wants to be picked up and freed from the crib.

"Good morning, sweetie." I take her in my arms, sitting her on my left hip and she instantly cuddles into my chest. I stroke her back slowly, kissing her head and then resting mine on top of hers.

I change her diaper and then go back to the bed. Laying back down, I put her next to me and she settles her little body on my chest. I wrap my hands over her, wanting to protect her from the world. That's why nobody knows I have a one and a half year old daughter. Of course, my family, my closest friends and tour crew know. But nobody from the outside world knows and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible.

I tangle my fingers in her blonde curls. She is like a copy of me when I was her age. When you would look at me and Ellie at her age, you would most probably see the same person.

She falls asleep on my chest and I am about to drift back to sleep too, when suddenly my phone beeps, announcing a new message.

I growl, slowly reaching for my phone on the nightstand and trying not to wake up Ellie. When I look at it, I see an iMessage from Tree, my publicist. She sent me a link? I click on it and the first person I immediately recognize is Jason Kelce. I've been a fan of Eagles since I was little. The other person on the screen is not that familiar but they look pretty similar, so maybe his brother? I don't know.

I watch the whole video, Jason asking his younger brother, later I learn that his name was Travis, about attending my show in Kansas City and wanting to give me a friendship bracelet with his number on it.

Not gonna lie, I thought that was sweet. He was probably the first one who tried to get my attention this way. Sweetly, in a cute way, through "my" world. Friendship bracelets on concerts were a thing that my fans started. I know that it was happening more now, but I am proud to say that my fans, the Swifties, invented that.

I once said in an interview that men don't need to do grand gestures to get my attention and that was still true. This was a sweet gesture that I had no idea about until now. And also, not gonna lie No. 2, he is cute.

A/N: hey guys, once again, welcome here. i hope you'll like this story like i love writing it.

i hope i'll be able to update as frequently as possible. i have about 4-5 part pre-written and then one more, but it will be later in the story (i just really wanted to write it)

don't feel bad in correcting me with anything i didn't get right about tay or some grammar mistakes, english is not my first language so there will definitely be some😂

don't forget to vote or comment

love you, ell🤍

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