Remember me ~Nomin

8

Renjun PoV

Me and Doyoung decided to go to his house today and have the day off school. We had a lot of things to process and talk about.

Doyoung - what are you thinking about love ?
Me- I don't know what to do baby. I'm so scared of the what ifs and I'm scared you'll hate me or hate my body if I choose either option. I mean scars or a vagina ? Who would have ever thought this would happen to me ?
Doyoung- I'll support you no matter what you decide love. Scars no scars. A vagina a penis whatever it is I will love every part of you.
Me- imagine a mini you running around
Doyoung - my parents would be over the moon. I'd be over the moon I'd be able to have a perfect family. But of course it depends on what you want to do.
Me- I think we would be complete with a little us running about but then we have to think do we want our child growing up around all this. I think I would have to step down and let win win take the mafia.
Doyoung - your dad passed winwins role onto you because of chinas bad connections with Japan
Me- I wouldn't be able to raise a child knowing something could happen to them or me. Imagine him waking up one morning and both his or her parents dead. These things happen and I can't help but worry.
Doyoung - I'm my parents only child I have no one to pass down to. With me our bloodline ends. I would love a child but at the same time I wouldn't have the option to give my role away.
Me- and that's perfectly fine baby but I will not be taking part in any of this.
Doyoung- I mean if you lived with jaemin ... he has the most allies in the world. I doubt anything would happen there. His and jenos family houses are the most guarded as well. If we ever needed to hide then there is here as well. I feel like that would be a good option for us.
Me- he can offer security to us no one else can but you know there will be a price for it with his dad still around
Doyoung - as long as you are safe I will do anything.
Me- so have we just made a life decision together ?
Doyoung - I think we did and I loved it
Me- I'm going to ring my consultant now.
Doyoung - okay are you sure you don't need any more time ?
Me- I'm sure I'm excited now.

I had the doctor on speaker and we were talking through everything.

Doctor- luckily enough we do have someone qualified for male to female gender surgery we just don't have anyone to do female to male so you are super lucky there with your options. Oh... actually we have a cancellation for tomorrow morning or 7 months from now
Me- just a small gap there then
Doctor- we have people drop out last minute if it isn't affecting their health so it is completely your choice.

I put him on mute and Doyoung looked at me
Doyoung - do you want to wait ?
Me- I don't mind but 7 months is ages
Doctor- correction the 7 months surgery has just gone we now have 12 months.

I turned us off mute

Me- if I was to wait 12 months what situation would that put me in ?
Doctor - looking at your most recent scans we can see a small growth on the testes and we haven't teste-
Me- I'll have the one for tomorrow.
Doctor - amazing Renjun can you come into the clinic today by chance ? We need to talk about estrogen to make sure the womb ovaries and fallopian tubes develop as naturally as they can.
Me- yes I can.
Doctor- no worries I'll see you shortly.

Doyoung - omg love are we really doing this ??
Me- I've already said yes now
Doyoung - okay do we need to pack you a bag ?
Me- let's just go see what he says and then we can decide.

We both got in the car and went straight to his clinic. He welcomed us in and he had the surgeon with him.

Surgeon - hi my dears so I am doctor lia. I will be doing your surgery and I can understand that everything must feel so surreal at the moment.
Due to your situation it is not going to be as simple as a male to female gender reassignment surgery as I'm going to have to make sure everything that is already there is working properly. As soon as I've finished this conversation you will need to go into surgery for something we call permanent hair removal surgery in certain areas of your body.
Me- I've already had that I voluntarily had it done when I turned 18
Doctor lia - did you have it don't for a medical reason ?
Me- no as most people that know me know I'm gay so I did it because I didn't feel too great with my body and the way it looked so I had it done. It made me feel cleaner as a person as well.
Doctor lia- and where did you have it done if you don't mind me asking ?

I was getting a bit overwhelmed as it was bringing memories back that I didn't want to remember so Doyoung took my hand.

Doyoung- everywhere his legs all the way up to his shoulders.
Doctor Lia- were you both together at this time ?
Doyoung - no we only met 3 weeks after he had it done at a family convention.
Doctor- I see in your file Renjun that you had a rape kit performed just before your electrolysis treatment are these related ?

I nodded my head and tears brimmed in the corners of my eyes

Doyoung- are we okay to step outside for a minute please ?
Doctor Lia-of course I'm truly sorry for all the questions.

We went outside and calmed down before going back in. Doctor Lia had forms for me to fill out and sections for my support network for after the surgery. I filled it out and passed them back to her. She checked them over and I noticed doctor Kim wasn't here anymore.

She told us to go pack for 5 days here just in case as typically it's only 3 days.
We got into the car and I felt like a lot of weight had been lifted off my chest. Our only task now was talking to jaemin.

I picked my phone up dialling his number and he answered after the first couple of dials.

Me- hiya jaemin are you able to meet me and Doyoung at his place ? We need to talk to you about something.
Jaemin- yeah of course I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Me- okay see you soon.
Doyoung - we have to at the end of the day. Otherwise you're going to be stressing.