Again

34

We drove all way through the city of Boston. Ben stopped the car to buy us some drinks and pizza, since we didn't eat much for the day. I really enjoyed the vibe in his old hometown, and I could see how he felt really relaxed too which made me happy. After driving for a while, we stopped at his apartment. He helped me to get out of the car while he carried our food and drinks.

"Ready to go?" He asked with a sweet voice while I grabbed his hand.

"Yes. I still can't believe we are here." I smiled.

He kissed my head while we walked towards the door of the apartment. It was a quiet night and already dark outside. I couldn't describe the happiness that I felt inside of me. And that happiness grew the moment he opened the door. He stepped with one foot into the apartment as I followed him. My eyes couldn't believe what I saw. The whole floor was filled with rose petals, and I saw so many flowers that decorated the house. I couldn't help to think back about the moment he proposed to me in 2002.

"Ben, what is this?" I said with a surprised and shaky voice.

He turned around to look into my eyes and gave me a big smile.

"My mom helped me do it." He winked.

That sentence was a familiar one, and one that I had kept with me for almost 20 years. It was the same thing he said when he proposed to me. I could only smile at him while tears were streaming down my face. It was all because of happiness.

"And no, don't worry, I won't do the same thing I did in 2002. At least not now." He smiled.

I chuckled while he pulled me close to embrace me. I inhaled his scent while all the emotions took over me. I was so overwhelmed by the love that I felt for him, that it made me realize once again that my feelings for him were never really away. And maybe I tried to convince myself that, but deep down I knew that he had always been the one for me.

"I love you so much. You are everything to me. And I'm so glad that you are back in my life. I promise you I will never hurt you, and make up to everything I did in the past." He whispered in my ear.

More words weren't needed, it was just us in that moment. It was a magical moment, full of nostalgic feelings, but also of new beginnings.

-

We were lying down in bed while I couldn't stop thinking about all the things we experienced 20 years ago. Sometimes it was still hard for me to accept the way things ended between us, and everything that happened in between. We had no idea that we would find each other again, but it was a long road full of heartbreaking moments.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered while he caressed my arm.

I sighed, feeling unsure if I wanted to share my thoughts with him right now.

"Nothing." I turned around to look into his eyes while giving him a smile.

"I know it's not 'nothing'." He said.

He paused to give me the time to response while he stared at me with a loving gaze.

"It's just painful, you know. That we lost so much time together. I think back about the times that I felt so sad, lonely and unhappy. That I took care of two kids on my own without sharing it with someone. And that all I wanted was to have you by my side. To feel your arms around me, to smell you, to touch you. But you weren't here. And in those moments, all I could do was to wish that you were happy, even if it was without me. And I tried to convince myself that it was for the best, even that we might weren't meant to be together. While deep down all I wanted was to run to you and never leave your side, again."

I saw how my words touched him, and it touched me to see him emotional. I didn't want to see him sad, because he was the most strongest man that I knew. But he also needed to know the truth. It was so hard without him.

"You know that you were on my mind everyday. And how hard it was for me to see you with someone else, although I also wanted for you to be happy. Everytime people asked about you I tried to act like I didn't care much. But that was only the first few years after we separated. It changed when you contacted me a few years ago when I wasn't doing well. I realized in that moment how much I still loved you, and that my biggest wish was to have you again. And I honestly couldn't care that you were with someone else. Because I knew that what we had, couldn't be topped by someone else."

"I love your confidence." I softly chuckled.

He smiled and wiped my tears away.

"But the most important thing is that we are together now. And that you aren't on your own now. You have me. Even if you don't want me to take care of you, I will always."

"I know you will. And I will too."

I gave him a kiss, and in that moment I felt like almost all my fears were taken away.

"Remember that you can share everything with me. You don't need to be afraid." He said.

And I knew that he was right.