Again

49

Ben and I had a slow, peaceful morning. We woke up early, took our breakfast and even did a little work out together. We both enjoyed spending time together this way, and it both made us feel good. We even got playful during our work out session, which resulted in us eventually ending up in the shower together.

While I was doing my quick make-up routine, Ben prepared breakfast for the twins. He even helped Max with a few math assignments, which always melted my heart. The way he was so patient with them, and always helping them whenever they asked was something that I appreciated a lot. And I knew that the twins did that too. They learned so much from him, and I felt so grateful that they got to experience this type of love. Their bond was already so beautiful and special. It was almost like Ben was not only meant to be in my life, but also in theirs. He was filling a gap for them, one that I was never able to fill in. I knew that he was the missing piece in their lives, and it made me emotional thinking about him being there for them like a father. I felt like it was one of the greatest gifts that I had given to them. He even sees them more than his own kids, which caused them to be already this close in a short time. And with him really being the coolest and sweetest, I could tell that they secretly never really missed me when I wasn't around because of work. And that's because they can always count on him for being there for them.

"Babe, you're getting a lot of texts. I see your phone lighting up the whole time."

I turned around and walked to grab my phone.
It was a text from someone unexpected, and it totally got me off guard. Ben noticed the look on my face and looked at me with a concerned expression.

"Who is it, baby?" He asked.

I sighed. "It's your dad." I said with a hesitant voice while looking at the twins.

I didn't know how to bring them this news, since they hadn't heard from him for a while. Normally he texts them himself, but apparently he thought it was a good idea to text me instead.

"He asked if you would like to see him. He's going to be here for the weekend. Apparently he got a show in LA." I added.

The twins both stayed quiet, and I sensed that they felt uncomfortable because of the question.

"You guys don't need to give an answer now, tell us when you get out of school later today." Ben assured them.

I was grateful for the way he handled the situation. He clearly noticed that I didn't know what to say too. And I couldn't be more thankful for him helping me in this situation.

"We don't need to think about it, we already have plans this weekend." Max said. "We planned to go to the movies with the five of us, remember?"

I smiled at him. The kids all wanted to go to the movies, and we allowed it since we knew that Violet was great at watching them. Also, they are old enough now to take care of each other.
Ben and I only insisted to drop them off and take them home again. We were happy that they at least allowed that.

They were both clearly not excited to see their father. It hurt me to witness that they have been hurt by him so much. They might didn't show it, but I knew that his absence in their lives has always been painful. Even if they are used to him not being around, it doesn't mean that they don't feel some type of way about it. And seeing that they react this way also made me sad. I just don't want them to be hurt.

"Ben, can you please take us to school now. We don't want to be late." They said.

He gave them a lopsided smile.

"Of course. You can already go to the car. I'm coming."

They gave me a quick hug and walked their way outside the house.

"That was hard." I whispered.

Ben walked towards me and immediately took me into his loving arms.

"I know." He sighed. "But they are okay, I promise. They are strong, and they know that they've got you. That's enough for them." He whispered.

Tears were streaming down my face. This subject has always been hard for me. And for years I dealt with it on my own. I had to witness my kids being in pain because of an absent father. I tried to fill that void with all that I had, knowing that it was never enough. But now, with Ben in their life, I felt like they finally were healing from that pain. Because they finally experienced that kind of love from a male figure in their lives.

"I promise it will be alright." He whispered.
"I might not am their biological father, but I love them like they are mine. And I will always protect them." He said while kissing my temple.

"I know." I whispered. I gave him a lopsided smile while he wiped my tears away.

"Don't answer him until I'm back home, okay?
I will write him a text for you. I don't want you to feel forced to talk to him. Not after what he did to you. And to the kids. He didn't treat you right, and I will never allow that to happen ever again." He said.

A lot was left unspoken. Ben knew exactly how I have been handled by Marc in the past. Most of the times he treated me bad, especially after the kids were born. He always knew that my heart wasn't fully with him, and I always felt like he punished me because of that. For years I felt like it was my fault, but once he started to be an absent father too, I knew that it wasn't on me.
I might made some mistakes in the past, but it didn't give him the right to handle me in the way he did.

Ben gave me a kiss before he was about to take the kids to school.

"See you later, my love. Don't worry about anything."