The Unexpected

Chapter 38: Mistakes

After I got back from the UK I went back to practicing everyday, perfectly executing my dives without a single mistake. And now it was time to put that practice into action,today was my meet in an extremely sunny Monaco.

Only one issue, I was having a bit of a struggle during warmup, you'd think I was a toddler jumping off the diving board based off how bad I looked doing my dives. I don't understand why I've done this many times before, I've been to so many meets but something was just off today.

The guys were going to go first, so I had a few hours to try and get myself together. I kept on checking the stands every few seconds looking up, since I thought my brother would show up but I guess he'd changed his mind or something. I'm not normally one to need emotional support or anything, but then again I'm also not normally one to mess up at meets.

I watched as the time went by slowly, dreadfully the guys had finally finished. Sweeping in the top three spots was China, leaving Eric and team Ausie in fourth place, which was still good but we were hoping for better. He came over to me and sat down in our designated area, digging through his bag for food. "Hey Bri, I know you're gonna do amazing and that you don't really need to hear this, but no matter what happens I'm here and I'm rooting for you. I mean getting here after having an injury for so long is an accomplishment itself, so just go out and give it your all don't worry about anything else" "Thanks Eric, I'm gonna go hit the warm up area and get a few dives in before it's my turn" "Don't over do it there, save your energy !" He hollered as I walked away.

I climbed up the steps and made my way up the 10 meter platform, walking out to the edge. I know Eric just tried to give me a good encouraging pep talk, but that made me feel worse. I didn't want it to be ok if I did bad because of my injury, my injury isn't an excuse. I faced down to the edge of the platform, staring off into the water that seemed soooo far down and I tried bringing myself to jump but I couldn't.  I was glued in place, I couldn't move an inch forward. I walked back down, to embarrassed to face Eric, knowing he was watching me. I headed straight for the outside, I needed a breather.

My eyes were staring at the floor, unable to look up from the sun's bright beams. Sitting down by the door outside I saw a shadow cast infront of me, so I look up "Lando!" "What are you doing out here love?, you need to be inside getting ready to go?" He sat down next to me, understanding something was wrong. "Are you gonna tell me why you're out here?" As soon as he said that I heard Eric shout for me "Bria you NEED to go like NOW. They changed the order of events you're up next" Lando nudged me to go, so Eric and I dashed into a sprint to the platform. He grabbed my phone, and lucky for me I was already out of warmups so I was good to go.

Walking up the steps felt like a decade, my mind traveled to Lando, he surprised me by showing up, I didn't have the slightest idea he planned on coming. Once I finally reached the 10 meter mark, everything shifted from what felt like a decade to what feels like merely seconds. Hoping my feet would do their job and not freeze up on me like they did earlier.  Terrified, I started my routine. I did my step jumps on the board, and I went in for the big dive, tucking my chin into my chest and closing my eyes, hoping for the best.

As soon as I entered the water I snapped, I had made the biggest mistake ever, I had entered the water with my hands still at my side not having gotten out of my flip position. My splash could be heard from a mile away I utterly FAILED.

I exited the dive well with tears almost filling my eyes, the sports channel camera panning towards me to see my reaction to that horrendous dive. I walked back to my seat with my hands on my head questioning how I possibly went so wrong, what's changed.

And then it hit me, I felt like I couldn't breathe..

I saw that night on repeat, the flashbacks hitting me hard. I felt like I was in the ocean trying not to drown with Lando in my arms. I was panicking hard the air leaving my lungs.

Next thing I know Lando rushes over the public seating area, hoping over the barrier and pulls me into his arms. His hug slowly dropping my heart rate, filling my lungs steadily up with air. "Bria it's ok just breathe in and out, come on do it with me deep breath in then out. You had me scared straight love please tell me what's wrong so I can help it's hurts to see you suffer"

  he lets go of me to look me in the eyes, but I pull him back in for a hug, the comfort he brings me is unreal. "Lando I know why I keep messing up, I know why this is happening" "Why love tell me?" "It reminds me of that night on the yacht, it's not my shoulder.

   I'm scared , scared of losing myself, scared of drowning, scared of getting hurt again" "Bria I'm so sorry this is all my fault" "No Lando, helping you then is something I'll never regret" "Alright so hear me out. Let me help you get over this then."

   "Listen love, you've swam multiple times after the incident, hell you just did a dive right now and were fine. Listen to me if even the slightest thing goes wrong I'm right here, and Daniel will be here soon too. Just think about the good, why you fell in love with this sport in the first place, think about how you felt when you couldn't dive, this is what you've been working for. I promise you, you are more than ready to do this, this is nothing compared to your talent" "It's a good thing you're not a motivational speaker" I let out a little laugh, and he wiped a tear away.

Normally I wouldn't be one to fall for that really cheesy speech of his but it managed to hit home. I felt different, maybe it was his speech or maybe it was just his presence calming me, but I believed every word he said. The anxiety left my body, it melted away faster than it formed. Not to mention I got him all wet but he didn't care, god that little fact gave me butterflies, even though it wasn't anything special.

Sadly security got to us, super upset, and had to escort him back to the stands, but I was ready now, ready to win gold. I sat down not letting my first dive get to me, I have five more to prove my worth. Scratch that, to show my worth I have nothing left to prove, I will end up on top like I always have. When it's my turn to go again I'll be better than I've ever been before!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey guys sorry for disappearing on y'all I'd be lying if I said I haven't lost my thrill in writing this story. It honestly started to feel like a chore so bear with me I'm really trying not to give up on it. Either way there will only be a few more chapters and this story should come to an end!