Hand pans ate my brain | memoir| ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

First tattoo

You know it's a happy obsession when you draw a picture a random picture doesn't have to be anything specific and then it has some kind of meaning to you that's important and you put it against your skin next thing you know it's on your skin or embedded in your skin if you word is very interesting to do tattoo design for yourself and answer now if you want to design things for people I don't get requests very much from other people but I do say what would you like as a tattoo I'll make it. Kind of thing and I even have friends is there any tattoos for me when my brain is farting up a storm. Something that I don't think I'm very much is the artist block I had to ask one of my Facebook friends hey listen can you create a tattoo for me with fidelity bravery integrity Written in it so she did and I was happy with the result. But I gonna get that later on as I'm getting the hatchet man tattoo. I am a big juggalette meaning of female Juggalo. I always wanted to be a tattoo artist and a best selling author all mentioned that right now and I wanted to design my own tattoos when I open my shop but as I said this is what I'm gonna do to get myself to school to be in FBI agent First I need the actual academia school before I go on in the FBI academy and the academia is a bitch to pay for so I'm gonna be a tattoo artist. I have heard yeah it's not a job it's a career I think it's an obsession to me and I am addicted to body yard and body piercings and tattoos it's just a little hangup I have that I've had since I was a little kid. I was going to call this book the tattoo not but decided I was going to call it as I wish. As I wish was gonna be well me rubbing a lamp and then I wish my life away which is I wish what I want in life. I've done a lot of good things with my art.
The one thing that meant a lot was the swearing water molecule and the Jupiter with a mandala design. The water molecule was just for kicks the water molecules for fun to see if someone would laugh at it if they saw it kind of thing. And it was a good entertainment and conversation piece still is to the day one someone says why is that water molecule swearing well I'm gonna tell you this right now I had a bastard of a flat at my old house when I was in my childhood home and ended up having to move into a motel for three months And I had all my stuff stolen by Canada restoration services and my and his well my aunt oversaw everything and was being a bitch to my mother remember my mother having a disown her a couple of times and then re-add her on Facebook and tell her to fuck off again kind of thing. You probably know that from my first autobiography I warrior underestimated but this is what it is is that I am a water bearer I'm also are an Aquarius and is an earth sign on earth Sina air sign and other things I am obsessed with anything water seafood fish pet fish aquariums your name it I love it.
So when I was given the prompt to design something cute and funny for my first tattoo I designed a swearing water molecule which was my only friend that I had as I grew up and started to swear as I started I swear his name was Frankie he was my imaginary friend I don't have the DID which is one of the symptoms of the ideas having invisible or imaginary friend this was just me being a creative asshole. And I will drive my mother nuts talking about Spanky the water molecule and she say that you're driving with us you are talking silly and so I clammed up pretty soon only just to write and read and I kept everything bottled up and I never said a goddamn word to my mother since he needs 11 to 13 because of her don't talk silly built well that kind a silly talk really damaged me and I had to go into therapy that's when I was diagnosed with Asperger's. At age 13 I Shoulda said I was like Bart Simpson and Romeo Dallaire but I ended up saying I'm like Albert Einstein and Bart Simpson and they said oh Asperger's, right off the bat that was the end of it. I also was noticed that I was noted to have ADHD or ADH like symptoms when I was 11 years old I freaking hated school when I was in school because it was a shit show for me it was the kids the kids the kids were always horrible to me. They would pop balloons in my ear and I just didn't wanna deal with homework when I got home so now you the way I got ADHD because I would throw behaviours every time I had to do homework I remember that especially math.
Now is my motor enemy second of terrorism. Because why I hate math it's difficult it's traumatic it's kind a like a terrorist attack you don't really need it in your life and it can be avoided. I don't like using this word but it is what it is it's government sanctioned terrorist attack with numbers. And I could not master math I remember it guard to the point Roy's pulling out my eyebrows and pulling out my eyelashes and I look like a like Marilyn Mann said for quite sometime before I was able to grow them back and after math class was not allowed in my schedule I was math examined and Ozuna and up with having anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders Natrez PTSD and Asperger's. I also remember in math class one a little fucker who like to make fun of the holocaust and I knew I was Asian and that the Asian were persecuted along with the Jews that I blew up at him like an IED and said fuck off don't talk. More or less yelling that out and screaming and swearing for the whole math course so I was math exam because of Holocaust jokes I just don't like math and yeah I know it just pisses me off to no end. At the time I didn't know I was Asian God I was Asian may if no one I was Asian but I despise racism and I despised genocide and terrorism and I don't agree with it to joke about it you might as well tote that AK-47 yourself. Dumb fucks.

I remember the first tattoo I got was my imaginary best friend spanking the swear and water molecule now swearing water molecule because I can't seem to keep a cap on it myself either. So I ended up going to a wonderful place that was cleaner than my room cleaner than baits where I work And I clean that place like a bastard this place just called to North tattoo and I was given the chance to get my first tattoo which was the swearing water molecule Spanky. When I got the tattoo during the tattooing process and having the ink embedded in my skin I didn't flinch I didn't do shit all except breathe and live I may have smiled a bit and then mail if I ever passed out it was because I was falling asleep I was so soothed like a dog gets a good valley rub or a good scratch on the back for doing something good this was my way of saying I'm doing something good and soothing myself for it through this it was not painful I hear a lot of people bitching in great Bend about tattoos hurting like a motherfucker excuse me that is not the truth with me because I do not have a pain tolerance if I have any pain it's emotional pain which is a lot worse than physical pain. I had to push myself to the limit beyond the limit until the next thing you know I'm throwing up the next day with exercise or with other strenuous activities that might hurt the average person. Or put the average person in hospital. Do I go out pain seeking no I'm not a masocastt but when I was getting the first tattoo I was like who is everyone screaming and bitching about I was like sleeping at this point when I was almost finish the tattoo or almost Rachana foils and then I was like OK I'm like I'm going to have a nice nap time is it so calm down soothed and stuff. It was kind of strange it was my first tattoo and I didn't even wins. The fact that I got the first tattoo by a professional and not by my idiot self on my tell you another story about that later was very magical and I was able to take care of it a lot easier than if I had done the tattoo myself.
All I needed was that special bandage for a few days or whatever the tattoo artist prescribes and then I just need Aveeno and non-scented shit and I was good that was all. I was very happy when I got Spanky and then I ended up moving towards my second tattoo which was for my mother because she was having blood clots galore and I knew she was going to go sometime. So I drew a Jupiter with a mandala design why do it why a Jupiter. Because my mother is the Jupiter pearl. That is a pearl that is so big and round and perfect that you cannot find it anywhere. That is what my mother was the perfect mother on the planet yeah she did be reversed my right ear drum yes she really put me in a few Parties that I didn't like but she was still a good mother nonetheless and one of the best and had my back all the time. Was she a perfect woman know but she was a good woman. And I was very happy to have her as my mother and I said I chose you to be my mother I chose the other bitch for physical attributes for some odd reason. The other bitch being my birth mother. She was not a good woman to begin with she LOL I don't wanna say this cause I was a sexual assault victim just a few months ago but the fact that she could've killed me because she was raped and was it was allowed by the government, at the time in Romania so I was not very happy with her I called her dopey Tweedle dough To Dupee and everything else in Twitter nothing against the actual social media app but that's what I call people who are stupid. He was stupid because he was trying to abort me and trying to get rid of me in any which way or form. She was not a good woman to begin with. And I think she has a psychiatric issues or psychopathy one of the two I didn't know but she was a really off said my mother the Jupiter pearl. When I got that tattoo it cost $300 straight up $300 and that's when I the side job now I'm deciding to get a second job and get the tattoo the lie one or the tattoos I want a good fashion. I don't believe in thinking that you should be bagging off people are selling your shit just to get a tattoo get a job what do you value of money and you might see something that might help you in your future you're investing in your skin and then yourself think about it you're investing in yourself.
Would I drop what I'm doing right now and do tattooing if I could yes I would because it would be something that would get me through school and it would get me tattoos as well would I be covered from headed toe and tattoos now because I don't believe that I should be to the point where I can't remember what ethnicity I am so I say if you tattoos on the legs few tattoos are on the arm the one on the chest one on the revenant certain I'm done. And as far as why I let pros do this all this is a real shit show....... I tried to pierce myself with a professional piercing kit something I would not suggest you do go to a fucking professional because it's gonna help you clean it easier and take care of it and and it's a lot easier on your nerves then doing it yourself and what I mean your nerves and me don't have to several a fucking nerve in paralyze half your face leave that to the winter weather when it comes out. I remember having to go to the hospital and I ended up with a small very minute nude staff infection from my medusa piercing and I said fuck this I'm and then the person who took me to the emergency room and said just go to a professional the next time the next time was a tattoo and I went to a professional and it went beautifully second time beautifully and I am expecting a third time but just as good. Do it yourself is more like do idiot yourself.