All My White Lies | bnha

nineteen | rampant nightmares

THAT NIGHT I DREAMT.

I dreamt of the curved mountains that Kota drew. The ones that beckoned upwards to the sky but slanted down just enough for there to be the mouth of a cave. Trees grew in the distance, brushes of green that cascaded near the cliffs but disappeared the farther you looked.

I dreamt of Kota and his parents and the little water trick he had shown me just a few hours before where he had opened his palm, shooting the liquid from his hand to boast. My mind mulled over my friends: Nejire, Mirio, Tamaki. How the sun was probably with the moon and how Nejire would fight the urge to pick up her phone and call or text me.

I had told her before I left that I wouldn't have any cell service, but I knew she'd either try harder or completely forget anyway. Mirio would probably remind her. I dreamt of many things; Kioshi wandering the halls of my old home. He was older, taller, a jawline nearly peeking from his face.

He clung onto frames of pictures that were glued to the walls, brushing them with his fingertips and pausing now and then. However, there was one distinct difference. I wasn't there. There was no gap, no space for me, no figure for me to stand in. It was just my brother, father, and mother, arms wrapped around one another, happily smiling.

I don't know what unnerved me more, however. The sight of the pictures or the way Kioshi's figure had turned, smiling straight at me as if he could see me. I woke up soon after that dream and to my surprise, it was still dark. The sun had barely begun rising and I was already awake.

Aizawa watched me as I traipsed towards the private kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee from the pot always lingering under the machine. He had his mug with him and with a single raise of his eyebrow, I could tell that my struggle was equally as external as it was internal.

I felt groggy, and sluggish. My limbs felt like they were made of lead. "You alright, kid?" He took a sip of his coffee, watching me fill my own with cream and sugar. If the caffeine didn't wake me up, hopefully, the sweetness would. "Bad dream," I supplied, mixing my drink quickly.

The heat stung a little bit but soon subsided. "I didn't take you as the type to drink coffee," He tried again with small talk, eyebrows still raised in both concern and inquisitiveness. I shook my head, drinking more anyway. "I'm not," That didn't help his curiosity and it certainly didn't aid anymore when Pixie-Bob skipped into the kitchen.

Instantly, her blue eyes softened at the sight of me and she bounded over, big paws cupping my face and tilting it upward. I quickly slid my coffee onto the counter, careful not to spill it on her. "You look so tired, are you okay? Did you sleep well?" She pitied me like a mother, tilting my face at every angle as if a cut on my cheekbone would answer her.

I squirmed in her grasp and she stepped away, paws still close enough to keep my face in front of hers. "I'm fine. I just didn't sleep that great," I retorted blandly, a pit of annoyance brewing within me when she continued to smother me anyway. Any theory: late-night walks, penning another tattoo into me, attempting to contact my 'girlfriend'.

Her theories were endless and my jaw clenched in frustration. "I'm fine!" I snapped. The heat in my voice was as hot as the coffee that lingered on my tongue. Pixie-Bob stepped backward, the softness to her blue eyes clear as day. "Sorry," She mumbled, blond brows turned downward at my attitude.

I awkwardly shuffled. "No, it's not your fault. I'm just tired, that's all. I shouldn't have snapped at you." My apology came in rapid succession and once again, the two adults looked at me with slight interest. Perhaps it wasn't common for kids to apologize so quickly over something.

"You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some nightmares,"

My answer was half-hearted but she took it, sympathetically smiling at me and moving away to make some breakfast. "You should probably get some more rest then. We have an activity at night for the kids and since it involves the forest, you'll probably be out there too." Aizawa spoke.

Pixie-Bob turned her head, "Speaking of night, did anyone see Kota? Mandalay told me this morning that she saw him getting back into bed late." She mumbled. I caught her eyes briefly and sighed, picking up the mug of coffee I had nearly forgotten about. "Yeah, he was in my room. We just talked, and drew a bit," I answered, drinking more caffeine.

She nodded understandingly, smiling at me once again. Although, this time, I think it was more of an admiration for my kindness. "I'm glad he's getting along with you. He's not very interested in others," I knew what she meant. He's not interested in pro-heroes. However, I nodded anyway, sipping some more.

"What's the point of the students traveling in the forest so late at night by the way? Is that some awareness exercise?" I questioned, casting a glance at Pixie-Bob when she passed me a piece of toast smeared with strawberry jam. She merely smiled at me, doing the same to Aizawa.

He reluctantly took the food, staring back at me. "Sure, you could call it that," His lips were perked up in slight amusement and he shook his head lightly, dipping his head down to drink some more of his coffee. I didn't quite understand what was so amusing, especially from seeing how they pressured so many of the kids to train harder.

Pixie-Bob leaned forward, "Tell me, Y/n, do you get scared?"

I swirled the caffeine in my mug, shrugging lazily. "Sometimes," It was a half-assed answer but she seemed to appreciate it nonetheless, going on with the conversation. "What do you get scared of?" She moved even closer, the claw of her paws tracing the skin of my cheek.

She reminded me of those killers in movies, those slasher ones where they always end up more flirtatious to at least one of the characters. "Being framed for murder. It's not uncommon I find my hairs randomly," As if proving my point, I plucked a strand off of Pixie-Bob's right paw. "What if it ends up on a body someday?"

Aizawa raised his brows and shrugged when the pro-hero turned to look at him as if saying that I had a point. "I meant something like clowns or the dark!" She insisted but I merely shook my head. The grace of being an overthinker was managing to bypass all of the simplistic fears and obsess over the potential of nearly impossible scenarios.

"Anyway, we just wanted to scare the kids. Put them in a little spooky walk of some sort where they could scare each other." She smiled mischievously, taking a bite of her buttered toast. I finished up my coffee before moving on to my actual breakfast. "Be honest. Is this for training purposes or your entertainment?"

"Training purposes, of course!"

"Entertainment," Aizawa slowly sipped his coffee, smirking slightly.

"Well then," I chuckled. "Thank you for your honesty."