XIII

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'That'll be all, thanks.' I tell the cashier as he hands me the receipt and a paper bag of Neosporin.

Skyler tripped and fell on her head trying to run away from me. Turns out some of the wood was flaked where she fell and she developed a blister on her forehead. We did not have to go to a doctor, of course, I diagnosed her with incompetence before she asked to go to one. 

I had a feeling she agreed with me. She'd been trained all her life to fight people, but trips on oxygen and crashes into the floor. How believable.

I head up the steps to the open apartment door and there she is, lying on the couch, watching SpongeBob. She says I have an obsession with My Little Pony, but there's a 19-year-old lying on my couch watching Patrick Star potentially have sexual tension with the mirror.

I throw her the paper bag.

'I'm not making dinner today.'

'Yes you are, and if you don't, I will FINGER you while you stand bent over at the stove. Come on, come on, get up and make dinner.'

'Doesn't your ogre-looking ass know how to cook?' she sits back.

'YOU LOOK LIKE A UNICORN WITH AN INGROWN HORN, DON'T YOU CALL ME AN OGRE.' I shout from the kitchen, pointing at the blister on her forehead.

'Why can't we just get take-out?'

'Fine.' I turn on my phone and order some pizza.

'Joshua?' 

'Yeah?'

'Come here real quick.'

'No, you come here.'

'Please?' She's being nice, there's something wrong. 

'Fine.'

I walk over to the couch and sit at the corner of it. She gets up and sits on me. 
Huh? Is she drunk again? Doesn't smell like it, and she was acting normal a few minutes ago.

She puts her hand on my face and brushes some hair to the side from my forehead.

'Who the fuck are you and what have you done to my cook?'

'You know, I've been thinking.' She traces my face with her finger.

'I feel like... I have the answer,' she stops and looks at me with gleaming eyes, 'it was you all along.'

'What?' This is definitely an imposter or something.

'YOU ARE THE REASON I GOT HURT.' She punches me in the cheek, then gets up and runs to the door and into her apartment. Definitely not an imposter, definitely not drunk. Definitely Skyler. And there's something else she definitely is. She is definitely FUCKED. 

I almost get up, but then I get a call. It's my brother. I pick it up.

'Joshua! How are you?'

'Hey Jords! I'm doing good, what about you? How's your job going?'

'It's great! I got your message to visit.'

'But- I sent that two months ag-'

'I'm outside your apartment!'

'What?- You could've at least told me in advance.'

'I'm coming up the steps now!' I sigh and hang up.

I open the door to my apartment, and there he is, my brother, Jordan. Despite being older than me, he's a couple inches shorter than me. I've always mocked him for it.

'What's for dinner?'

'I had take-out ordered.'

'What did you get?'

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