A Little Death

XVI

'Hey. Wake up, we're here.' I wake up in a very different position than when I fell asleep. I am ON Joshua. He's carrying me like I'm a fucking toddler and a while ago, I had my forehead rested on my shoulder while I was asleep. I look around me. We're in a hallway with black walls and marble floors, outlined with silver paint. There is a door in front of us. A sign next to it says '1104'. I chose the eleventh floor because it would be hard to climb.

'Did you just carry me all the way here?' I get down off him and then I fall on the floor because Joshua drops me immediately.

'Yeah.' He offers me a hand to help me get up, but I swat it away and get up myself. 'Where are the keys?' I ask him. He takes out a keychain attached to 2 keys from his back pocket and jingles them.

'So- let me get this straight, you went to the lobby, talked to the landlord, took the keys while you were carrying me like I'm a 2-year-old and you went up the lift, with all our luggage and, in that entire duration, I didn't wake up?'

'Yes.'

'Did you fucking drug me?'

'No, by the end of the car ride, you were latched onto me and I didn't wake you up.'

'That's impossible, I'm a light sleeper, there is no way- oh, it's because I haven't slept in a couple of days.' He unlocks the door and I take in the apartment. It's a big, luxurious one. It's not that expensive because it's almost empty and pretty far from the main city. I turn on the light switch and Joshua enters the house, taking his luggage. I grab mine sleepily and look at the clock on the wall. It's 9 PM. He sits down on the couch and turns on the TV, while I unpack all our stuff and arrange them in the cupboards.

'You're not gonna help me at all?'

'Well, I carried you up here AND all our luggage, so I think I've done enough.' I roll my eyes and continue unpacking and organizing. 'Can you at least buy us some groceries unless you plan on getting take-out and having to interrogate every UberEats delivery guy that comes here.' He sighs and gets up, he unlocks the door and leaves the house. 

It's weird, I've never felt so dependent on someone, I haven't let myself be dependent on anyone because I know it could hurt me. I don't mean counting on them to get the groceries, I mean emotional dependence. We were always taught in the mafia to never let that happen. Strict ass rules. Still, I miss being there. I couldn't help being dependent on Joshua, somehow. I knew that he could betray me and probably beat the shit out of me if he wanted, but I trusted him to not. The first time I'd seen him, I'd already trusted him. I only had a few contacts in my phone, to avoid getting tracked, but I had given him my number.

It was easy to trust him, for some reason, to depend on him. The only thing that made me feel better was that he was just as dependent on me. At first, I hadn't wanted to be emotionally linked to him in any way, but now I kind of liked how it felt. I enjoyed it. To have someone other than your family be there for you, to trust you as much as you trust them. 

I found myself thinking about my family often, my entire family, everyone I knew had helped me train as a kid. They loved me, almost as much as my dad did. I often thought about going back to him, I had to apologize too, of course. It would certainly be the easier way out. When I had first left, I intended that I would come back as soon as my dad sent me a heartfelt apology, but he didn't. He still hasn't. But maybe, I should forgive him. He did sacrifice a lot to raise me the way I am. I knew he could've been outside all the time, earning more and getting rid of more people. But he had chosen to be with me and raise me. Maybe, in a few months, I'll go back. I'll apologize for running away like that, and he'd admit he was sorry for what he'd done, and we would go back to living the way we had before, I had been happier then. 

I brush off my thoughts for later.

I arrange the last of our boxes and take a hot shower.

Joshua's POV

It's a nice enough apartment, but I don't think we'll be staying here too long either. I expect the mafia has already noticed that the house where Skyler used to live is now empty. I go down the lift and into the lobby. The man who sits there gives me a friendly smile and I nod back at him. 

I exit the building and out into the street. It's not that crowded and I didn't see a Walmart that far away. I walk to it. It's a medium-sized building. I purchase some groceries and before going back, I decide to explore a bit. There are a lot of trees and plants hanging over the walls and there's a small mall being constructed. I look behind me. Next to the apartment building, there are a few small shops. It's nothing very interesting. 

I walk back into the building and go up the lift into the apartment. It's unusual not having to climb stairs anymore. I saw a gym nearby, so I might as well apply to it. It had been a 4-hour drive from there to here, and I couldn't go to my local one. Guess I have to cheat on my gym bro.

The elevator dings and I exit out on the eleventh floor. I turn the keys in the lock and Skyler is standing at the counter. Her hair is wet. She's sautéing some pasta. I walk behind her and hug her from the back. She stiffens for a while then relaxes and kicks me in the shin with her soft, small slippers that barely do any damage. I don't let go.

'Just because I let you hold my hand once-,' she struggles to get out of my grasp, 'doesn't mean-,' she goes below my arms and escapes me, 'you get to hug me.'

She takes out two plates from the rack that she arranged in the short time I was gone and puts pasta on them. I dig in and she sits in front of me, on the opposite side of the counter and eats there. Almost immediately, she finishes her food and disappears into the hallways, which I cannot see from the place I am sitting, thanks to the arrangement of the house.

I finish my food and put my plate in the dishwasher that came with the house. I open the bedroom door and find her lying on the bed, with her head under the covers. 

I enter the blanket and she moves a bit. Then she turns her body towards me and scoots closer till our bodies are touching, burrows her head into my chest. 

'What happened to not letting me hug you?'

She punches me but then goes back to sleep.