Psycho

Chapter 13

Who are you ?

Nia POV

3 months later

" how did that make you feel Nia ?"
" it made me feel weak , like dirt , like I meant nothing " I cleared my throat to prevent my voice from croaking .

I looked to my left to see Aleksandr holding my hand . He looked up at me and smiled raising my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it gently . I draw in a breath and continue speaking of the hardest moment of my life .

It's been three months since I've been staying with Aleksandr. I've started talking to my psychiatrist. I thought if Aleksandr thought me to be as brave as he thought maybe i would be just for this

For me
To heal
I needed to be brave

He's been there every step of the way . My elbow has even healed as well as my tongue , concussion, and one of my knees . My other knee had to by operated on again due to the bone not healing properly so I was on crutches at the moment . The scar on my stomach was a faint white .

Although my body was going back to normal . I couldn't stand to look at myself . Everywhere I looked I felt like he had branded me scarred me . I couldn't look at my scars and think that I was a survivor of something dire . I felt kinda useless . Ugly . No woman's body looked like mine . No woman's body looked disgusting like mine .

So I covered up . Every article of clothing Aleksandr has ever bought me has long sleeves and full pant legs . It's only because I asked . I know that it somewhat bothered him but he never asked my reasoning

Our relationship hasn't really developed much . I could see the glint in his eyes when he looked at me . I could see how he tried to make me feel special every day but I'm so scared . Scared that he might be as sick and twisted as his brother . This is kindness is such a facade . The thought made me sick to my stomach . And I could see that it bothered him . I could see that he wanted to give me his all but I wasn't ready .

Shortly we finished with my appointment and  Aleksandr hands me my crutches and leads me out the room with his hand on my lower back .

" стрекоза I'm proud of you . You're doing so well " He rasped
" thank you " I say smiling at him " I'm trying "
" it's more than enough стрекоза"

He lead me to my room and he left with a kiss on my forehead saying he had a lot of work to do in his office .

Aleksandr has moved his office across from my bedroom . When I still had all my casts I would need to be turned in my sleep . He said it would be easier but he was right across from me . And he'd be able to attend to me faster .

I was tired out from venting so I decided to take a shower . Moving to the bathroom I removed all my clothes and got underneath the warm sprays . The water removing all the weight that has been on my shoulder today while also encouraging all the intrusive thoughts I've been trying to stay away from

" what If he finds us ? "

" he'll kill me this time I know it "

" what if he knows we're hear and just waiting to attack ? "

" could I ever live a normal life after all of this ?"