erwin smith x male!reader
in which where marie's brother is forced to write letters for her lover in her stead but he finds a difficult time controlling his feelings-especially when her lover also happens to be the man he holds most affections...
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CHAPTER TWO
It had been that way for the past few months.
What she said to be only a 'couple' of letters quickly turned into a dozen in the span of just 6 months, two handwritten letters in each.
It did not help that we were entering our 3rd year now. We would eventually find ourselves forced to make a decision on what regiment we ought to join.
We were getting really busy and I couldn't sneak off to drop by my sister's place as often as before. By my 8th letter, she advised me to just send it directly to Erwin without the need of her proofreading it.
She assured me that whatever she had to say doesn't really make a difference because it was my words on the paper and she relied on me enough to know what gave her a higher chance of scoring.
It still made me feel guilty, time did not help to lift the shame I felt whenever Erwin was in my company.
He didn't know his closest friend was taking advantage of their proximity for the sake of giving his sister a higher chance.
Erwin did not know that the woman of his dreams who wrote him love letters with words accurately hitting him like star-crossed lovers was written by his own best friend— and with the knowledge of nearly 3 years worth of friendship.
I practically knew him like the back of my hand. I knew the things he liked, what topics interested him, what made him smile in a cloudy afternoon.
I used all that knowledge to make it seem like Marie was the woman destined for him. Someone who he could say was his 'soulmate' for sharing most similarities and knowing him despite not really knowing him at all.
I can't say I didn't feel like a horrible person every time I see him smile softly at the paper as he tucked himself into a corner not-so discreetly. While I felt absolutely terrible, at the same time, I was moved.
The feeling of tightness in my lungs clashed against the butterflies that threatened to habituate my stomach.
Because even if he was picturing Marie and her voice, those had been my words. My feelings written on the piece of paper he held so dearly. And it made me wonder if I had only been born a woman, would he have taken me more seriously if I were to say those with him knowing it came from me?
I shook my head.
Of course, I never dreamt of becoming a woman. I was much satisfied with my own identity now, and I know I wouldn't have been able to change anything even if my biological characteristics were different.
But I still wondered if it would have been a lot more easier to love me if the idea of loving another man wasn't as taboo.
I shifted in my seat as I watched Erwin's back. He was seated on our dorm's shared study table. He always hogged them most nights, writing his thoughts with a careful stroke of his hand.
