When we get back, Gator is acting cold. I want to know what he was doing, where he went, what he's planning but I know he's not going to tell me.
I grab a beer out of the fridge and plop down on the couch, turning on the TV. I flick through the channels but nothing interesting is on, so I turn it off and stare out the window for a while. I jump as loud rock music starts coming from upstairs.
"What the hell..." I mutter as I walk up the stairs.
Gator is there with a white tank top, army print pants, and combat boots on.
"Gator, what the hell is going on?" I ask.
"Nothin'" he says, taking a puff from his vape.
The room is illuminated with a blue light. He has a chest next to him.
"Gator. Stop this bullshit and tell me what's going on. Right now." I say.
"Stay out of it Birdie. I'm warnin' ya." He says.
"Tell me or I'll tell you dad." I say. This was a lie. He saw right through it.
He laughs. "We both know you wouldn't." He says with a smirk.
He is really pissing me off. I glare at him. "Screw you, Tillman." I say, before heading back downstairs. A tear falls from my eyes. Why is he being such a dick? I mean, yesterday I'm his girlfriend and today he wants to be a jerk? What the hell?!
When I com downstairs, Karen is setting the table. I walk over to help.
"Thanks." She says, handing me some plates.
"Mhm." I say, kindly.
We finish setting the table and Gator comes down. I roll my eyes at him.
"Birdie..." He starts to say.
Karen goes back in the kitchen.
"Just leave me alone, Tillman." I say, quietly.
"Hey, look at me." He says, taking my arm gently.
I glare at him, right in the eyes.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"I just have a lot going on right now. Shit you can't know about yet, alright?" He explains, softly.
"I don't want excuses. Just don't treat me like shit, okay? I've had enough of that for one lifetime." I tell him.
"Okay, I'm sorry Birdie." He says.
We take our seats at the table and Karen, Roy and the twins join us. We bless the food and begin eating. Gator gives me a playful kick under the table and I try not to smile. I'm glad he apologized but I'm still upset that he won't tell me what's going on.
We finish dinner and I go upstairs to take a shower. I get in and turn on the water. The hot water feels nice on my skin after the cold day. I shampoo and condition my hair and wash with soap. I get out, drying my skin and hair with a towel. I get dressed and walk to Gator's room. I look out the window, he's putting something in his truck. I roll my eyes. Whatever he's up to, I'm gonna find out. I put my dirty clothes in the laundry and blow dry my hair. By that time, I'm ready for bed. Honestly, I'm not super tired I just wanna escape the anger I'm feeling. I get into bed. My hair feels nice and warm on the pillow. I'm not going to wait for Gator before I go to bed, who knows what he's up to.
I'm drifting off when the door breaks open. I peek with one eye. It's Gator. He takes off his boots but keeps on the tank top and pants he has on. That's weird.
"You sleep with pants on now?" I ask.
"Yeah uh feeling kinda cold." He says.
"Well, come here, let's warm you up." I say.
He gets in the bed and wraps his arms around me. After a while, we fall asleep.
I'm slightly woken up because the bed feels lighter. I'm not fully awake though. I feel a small kiss on my forehead.
"Bye." I hear Gator whisper. I'm so, so tired. I finally gain consciousness and open my eyes. I look around but the bed is empty and Gator is nowhere to be seen.
"Gator?" I whisper.
"Gator?!" I hiss.
Where the hell is he? Did he go to the bathroom? I hear crunching of gravel and look outside. Gator's truck is pulling out of the drive way. Are you actually kidding me? I go back to bed, really pissed off. I want to call him but what if it's not safe? What if his phone goes off and he gets shot or something? There's endless possibilities and scenarios running through my head. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want him back. I toss and turn for an hour or two until I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs, stepping as softly as he can. I sit up. He comes into the room, staggering a bit and opens the closet doors dropping some sort of bag inside with a soft thud. He's sniffling.
"Gator?" I say.
He's breathing heavily. "Gators what's wrong?" I say, getting out of bed.
He looks at me, tears running down his face. "I messed up bad. I m-messed up real bad." He says, looking at me with fear in his eyes.
"Gator, what did you do?" I ask.
He just collapses on the floor and sobs. I sit down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Gator, you're scarin' me." I say.
He throws his arms around me, crying into my shoulder.
"I killed someone, Birdie, she didn't- she wasn't even- it was an accident." He says.
I have one hand on his back and one hand in his hair.
"It's okay, baby. Everything's gonna be fine. Just calm down. Breathe. You're okay. You're alright." I tell him, a little frightened.
"Munch." He says, pulling away to look at me. "I went to-to go kill Munch and get the money back. For my dad, y'know? I thought I could make things right so I took care of him but then this lady she... She came outta nowhere, swinging this bag at me. It startled me and I was just trying to get her off of me but then she tripped and fell and she hit her head on the concrete and-" he starts crying too hard to talk anymore.
"Oh my god, Gator." I say, pulling him close.
"I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." He says.
"Gator, it's okay Hun. You didn't mean to. I understand. It's okay." I tell him.
I can't imagine how he must feel. And that poor lady. And he killed Munch? He cries into my arms for a while and once he can talk again he says "can we go to bed now?"
"Yeah, Hun. Let's go." I say, helping him to his feet. He takes off his combat boots and pants and we get in bed. He rests his head on my stomach, hugging me and I stroke his back and hair.
Eventually, we fall asleep.
