FITTING IN | Ruby Matthews x Y/n (GIP)

Chapter 8

Y/n's POV

Following the ending of the song that low-key sent me down a spiral of overthinking, I finally recouped and drove home. I parked my car outside my apartment and grabbed my briefcase. Reaching my door, I hear the tv on inside.

Fuck 

She's here. She's in my apartment. Shit shit shit. Do I talk to her now, or wait it out? 

I stand in front of my door speaking to myself in my head looking like an idiot. I reach for the door handle to unlock with my keys but I hesitate a bit. She better not fucking hit me again.

I turn the knob after unlocking the door with the key and push the door open while holding my breath. I keep my eyes down and make the choice of not looking up to avoid the girl in my living room. 

"Hey.." She says with a rasp in her voice. I know she's been crying from the way she sounds.

I shut the door and feel a small pain in my chest knowing I caused her tears.

"Hey." I say as I keep my gaze away from her. I set down my briefcase by the door and walk up to my kitchen counter. I throw my keys in their designated bowl and pick up the stack of mail for today. I hear her slowly stand up from the couch and the sound of her feet padding against the floor as she makes her way to me. I sigh preparing myself for whatever is to come.

She stops at the other end of the counter and sits on the far stool. Still avoiding eye contact I can see out of the corner of my eye, she's staring at me with her chin resting on her hand.

I shuffle through the same 10 envelopes over and over again without realizing. My mind is running with thoughts. The memories. The feelings. The love. She's been with me through it all and today just might be the last day. The day I finally let go. 

"Are you just gonna avoid me forever now?" Her voice cracks at the end as she tries to cover it up. Another pain shoots through my chest.

I stop shuffling through the mail and stop at an envelope with my best friend's name on it, making a mental note to come back to it later on. I set down the mail and rest my hands at the edge of the counter slightly leaning on it with most of my weight. I still haven't looked up to her. I'm afraid I'll break if I do. Is this right?

"Y/n" she tries to get my attention once more.

I close my eyes and bit my lip. "No..."

I glance up at her finally taking her in. She looks so fragile. Her blood shot red eyes. Her small frame wrapped in one of my blankets that she must've grabbed from the couch. 

"I'm not avoiding you. I'm scared." I admit as I stare at her with the space of the counter between us. I feel my throat get tight the more I look at her. 

Her face saddens at my words. "You- You're scared of me?" She asks as her eyes get teary and her lips start to frown as she tries to hold back her tears.

I shut my eyes run my hands over my face so I won't start crying.

"Y/n I'm sorry for what I did earlier okay? I- I didn't mean to hit you. My emotions got the best of me and I hate myself for it. I was just being jealous and stupid and I shouldn't have laid my hands on you. It won't happen ever again just please don't be scared of me because of it." I slowly step closer to the side of the counter where she is, taking a seat on the stool next to her.

"Thank you for apologizing but that's not why I'm scared. You do have very strong hands though." I crack a small smile but she stays with a sad look and tears brimming her eyes.