pairing: theodore nott x reader
warnings: fluff, this is meant to be comedic, the word slag (not to a human)
summary: 🐈❤️🐈⬛
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"How many times have i told you to keep your rabid horny cat away from mine how many more times am i going to say this nott?" you scoffed placing the black cat into theodore's arms
" i walked in and he was fucking humping her"
"well maybe if your stuck up princess of a cat stopped rubbing her ass on him, he wouldn't go after her" he retorted
"what are you trying to say nott!'
"that your cat is a slag"
you gasped and were about to retaliate, before his friends intervened.
"alright, that's enough of that, theodore you keep teddy away from..." pansy paused for a second
"cleo"
"away from cleo" she continued "and cleo stays away from teddy"
"fine by me!" you agreed
"me too'
"then that's sorted"
...
That was infact not sorted
Theodore was sitting in the common room with his friends when he heard someone stomping in quite violently. He turned and saw you red in the face while a panicked hermione tried desperately to calm you.
Once your eyes locked with his it was like something snapped in your brain and you lunged for him.
People perked up watching as you tried to inflict harm on the slytherin boy
"Bloody hell, you're crazy get off me!" he was laughing
"You can go to hell!" you were shouting at him "Why are you laughing!"
"You're cute not to think i can't have you on your back in seconds"
"Fuck you! and Fuck your mangy cat"
"Okay that's enough" he grabbed your wrists and pinned you on the ground "why are you attacking me?"
everyone around the room watched the commotion silently
"My Cleo.."
"yeah?" he urged
"my cleo is.."
"for gods sake, what happened to your cat"
"She's been impregnated!" you shouted struggling under him.
He paused for a second before the sound of laughter broke his thoughts, he looked up to where his friends + hermione were all trying and failing to surpress their giggles.
"Has she taken a test?" he ask
"She's not a fucking human theodore, i told you to keep your animal away from mine and now look what's happened" you pushed him to the side and stood up "hermione let's go"
...
You were walking with harry, ron and hermione in the corridors when you heard your name being called.
You turned and came face to face with an out of breath theodore.
"Can i help you?"
"I've been-trying- to find you- all week!" he breathed out
"well here i am"
"listen, i need you to dig deep into your cold heart and find it in yourself to allow my cat to see yours"
"absolutely not"
"what's wrong with you? this isn't romeo and juliet, they are animals, my cat has been walking around aimlessly trying to find yours, have a heart" he snickered. "let him be a good dad"
"They way you guys are talking about these cats, you'd think they were real people" ron scoffed
"Fine, bring tony to my dorm after dinner"
"teddy" he corrected you
"yeah fine teddy"
"thanks love, appreciate it" he winked "see you after dinner'
That's how you found yourself watching two cats reunite. It was as of you were watching a romantic film (but with cats)
"See, this is what you were in the way of" theodore snickered
"don't make me regret my decision theodore" you
scowled before the room fell into a comfortable silence
"i guess it is quite sweet" you smiled watching as cleo begun rubbing her face on teddy.
Theodore chuckled, and then, with a more serious tone, he said, "You know, maybe there's something to learn from Cleo and Teddy
you raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying, Nott?"
His gaze met yours, and he hesitated for a moment before speaking, "How about you let me get to know you?"
you found yourself contemplating the idea. After a brief pause, a smile crept across your face, and you agreed before turning your attention back to the cats on your bed, who had now completely warmed up to each other.
...
One particularly sunny afternoon you were sat by the lake, cleo, who was quite big now, lay peacefully next to you keeping you company while you tried to study for your upcoming charms assignment.
you were stuck on a particularly hard question and when you decided to look up, you saw that
the spot next to cleo was now occupied with her favourite cat, teddy.
you had warmed up to him after seeing him with your cleo so much. You reached your hand out to stroke him before a loud noise startled you.
You turned and saw theodore hysterically laughing.
"That was the most unfunny thing ever" you tried your hardest to hide your smile, but failed nonetheless.
"Yeah well, i got you to smile" he took a seat next to you.
"Well, can i help you?" you asked
"yeah" he smiled "you can talk to me"
"god you sound so lonely Theodore"
"well your cat has clearly gotten mine under mind control, he doesn't even sit with me anymore"
you laughed
"can i tell you something" he asked "i feel like we are at this point in our friendship where you won't kill me'
"who knows..."you shrugged with a faint smile on your lips.
"I purposefully let teddy near cleo"
"What?! why" you tried to be angry, but you honestly didn't really mind the two cats near each other anymore
"because my favourite part of the week, was when you would come and give him to me, even if you were fuming half the time" he snickered
"that's... really sweet'
he looked away from you and smiled.
"can i tell you a secret" you moved infront of him
"hm"
"every time i saw your cat, i'd be happy"
"why's that?'
"cause it meant i'd get to talk to you... well shout but still"
he leaned forwards and grabbed you by the waist slowly pulling you closer towards him "can i tell you another secret" he whispered
"yes" you were slowly leaning towards him
he smiled and leaned into your face catching your lips in a sweet kiss.
"¡ think you should let me take you out"
