The archive of the forgotten

How could I forget?

I don't know a lot. But I do know that everyday in the future I will wake up with 'please, please, please let me get what I want' by the Smiths. They call it dementia, But it isn't, I know that all too well, I pick up the notebook where the information about my life is written. I open it.

It says: "Your name is Recuerdo, you live in Barcelona with your partner, the beautiful man with the short blonde hair and blue eyes. You live in the center of the city, you don't have any remaining family except your father. You are 29 years old and your husband, Alvaro is 28. You have been married for three years, Alvaro's family is british but he has lived either spain or france all his life. You speak spanish, english and french." I take a deep breath, I do not know why I don't know my past but I do know the date of the death my father will die. I hate it, I wish I could remember my wedding day, I wish I could remember how I met Alvaro.

A beautiful man comes into the room, his golden hair reflects the bright light of the sun. I smile, I might not know what he has done for me but I do know what's to come and he is such a darling. I remember the smell of oranges and coffee as he kisses me, his soft lips brush mine and I taste the memories he has of me. I wish I could share them with him. I smile, I hate the fact that I know I will leave him in just ten years. I wonder if I could change it, or if everything is set in stone. Maybe all of these supposed future 'memories' aren't real. I hope I am making them up,

"I made you breakfast, my poet." He says as he walks into the kitchen. I follow him, it feels like he is the last thing in my life that is constant, he is the only thing keeping me alive. "Alvaro," I say while looking at the plate of full english he has made me. "You mostly call me Alfie darling" He says with a sweet smile. I try to find the courage. "Alfie, Why do you call me poet? I don't remember ever writing poetry." His smile fades but he immediately manages to smile a bitterweet one. "You never wrote poetry Recuerdo, but when we first met you you read shakespeare sonnets to me, because I couldn't find the braille version, later you typed all your favourite poems in braille." I frown, "Are you....." "Blind?" he says with a smile, he shrugs. "Glaucoma my dear. I can still see a part. But it won't take long till I can't see your beautiful face anymore." He says as he puts his hands on my cheeks.

I look into his eyes, and than I remember the moment he'll go completely blind. He cries so much, and when I ask why he thinks he won't manage with all the help we have. He has Brutus, a beautiful brown labrador who is his guide dog, he has me, he has our friend Sebastian who moved in with us at that time. I wonder who sebastian is. He has his family but when I ask what he is afraid of he looks at me and tells me that he doesn't want to forget my face. I feel so bad about the fact that if I close my eyes I can hardly remember his face when I close my eyes, well I can remember him in his older years. I curse myself, sometimes it feels like I am living in reverse.

"Sebastian is here." I say, a second later the bell rings. "Wow, I'm proud of you! It's cgreat you remembered he was coming today!" Alvaro says excitedly. I smile, I only knew because I knew the bell would ring.

He opens the door, Brutus greets the slender guy standing in front of the door. "Great to see you again sebastian how was Paris?" Alvaro asks as they hug, I hug sebastian, because while I don't remember him I know that in the coming years he will be such a great help to us. "Paris was formidable, as always" He says with a smile. "It smells good in here!" Sebastian says as he walks into the kitchen of our luxurious flat. "My darling made breakfast" I say with a smile while grabbing Alvaro's hand. He smiles. "You won't mind if I steal a bit"?" He asks. He we both laugh and shake our heads.

later I'm reading a book. I must say that that's one things I hate the most, all books and films seem to be spoiling themselves now that I memorise the future. I hear Alvaro and Sebastian talking on the balcony. I think I hear Alvaro crying, I immediately put the book down. The smoke from their cigarette's caresses their mouth as they breathe it out.

"I am just so afraid. I can hardly take care of myself, how do I keep him save but make his life good? I feel so helpless Sebastian." Sebastian shakes his head and puts a hand on his shoulder. "You're so strong and resilient, with the love you have for Recuerdo you will get  through it all, together" He wipes away a tear. "He didn't remember why I call him poet, How long will it take till he doesn't know my name? He forgot that I was blind. What if he doesn't recognise me anymore?" He says and his voice breaks. I feel a tear on my face, I will never forget him! He is my everything, even if I can't remember things from the past I see so much future for us.

"Alfie..." I say as I step onto the balcony, I caress his face. "How could I ever forget you? Even if I do you will always be here in my heart. You can't escape that" He hugs me, Never wanting to let go ever again. I will never forget you, it's only what you call forgetting.

I know it's not my best. It's a bit all over the place but It was a challenge so that's good!