The archive of the forgotten

The duchess part two

Half a year ago

I make lily lanterns for the kids of the village. Most of them are children of our staff. They all look at the waterlilies with wonder in their eyes, I remember having that same wonder in my eyes. Some kids let them fly away and others attach them to their wrist with a little cord. I smile, the twilight being illuminated by this beautiful magic. "Can I learn to do that too?" a young girl asks. I smile, "You can do anything you set your mind to."  she smiles, I look at her with a smile, I feel guilty, I am not certain whether I have lied to her. Maybe by the time she has grown up woman are allowed to use the art. I have a stupid amount of hope. I got that from my father.

I hear commotion with the art of hearing. I frown and stand up, "stay here children, your parents will arrive shortly." I put up half my hair and walk through the tall grass, I am wearing a beautiful white silk peasant blouse and wide black pants that almost resemble a skirt. It is a perfect mix between my two cultures. I arrive at the gates and quicken my pace when I see some soldiers arguing with our guards. "What is this commotion about." "Duke Carastallan." "I am his oldest son. What is this commotion about gentlemen?" I ask, trying to sound authorative, but the military leader on his horse is quite intamedating although I have been in the army for quite a while. "The war with the land of orgin is commencing young Lord Carastallan. All families with the ability of art must surrender one of their men, preferably the patriarch." "My father cannot fight, he is on his deathbed." I say with an agressive expression on my face. Ready to defend my father. "Luckily he has a son, I expect you posess the art. And if they do not have sons one of their daughters will be most welcome in the palace." I look at the letter he gave me as they ride away on their armoured horses. I spit on the ground, I hate the military.

"I don't know what to do mother." I say while sitting down on the ground to eat. The night staff puts down the bowls with delicious food. I look at the two empty spots around our eating area. One is where my dad would sit if he wasn't busy dying, the other is where my older sister would sit. She disappeared, she used the art and both my mother and I think she used it too publicly. But it remains a mystery we do not dare to talk about. To me it's also a mystery why my mother didn't disappear too. I am thankful she didn't but why....they must know she taught her the art. Or did father teach her the art, he taught me, but I don't know. "Cassius, get out of your head." My mother says as she puts some food in my bowl. I smile "I apologise mother." "As you should" She chuckles lovingly as we start to eat. I put the bowl down, I am not hungry. "Mum, I am afraid, I do not know what to do. I know the military will use me as fodder, they won't respect me in any way, but I do not want to be a coward." My mother smiles, "Ask your grandfather." I smile, I could've known.

I enter the spirit room and with a snip of my finger the candles start burning, illuminating the whole room with a blue light. I trace my fingers over the artworks of all kinds of ancestors, some I cannot recognise, I cannot even lookk at as humans. I sit down cross-legged and rest my hands on my knees. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I concentrate as I feel the souls around me, the sounds of memories are faint and I smell the sea, One of the symbols of our family. I open my eyes, I see the starry sky of our ancestral home. The warm water caresses my body as it carries me out of it. The wind blows through my hair, playing with it and scupting it's artwork. I smile as I look at my soul I am made of nothingness and you can only see me because there are lines representing my features, the glowing blue lines are my soul.

"Grandfather?" The beautiful middle aged man appears out of the river and walks up to me, he is my mother's father. I look most like my grandfather, my mother used to say we could've been twins if I had been his age. "Grandfather, I need your wisdom, I need your guidance." "Calm your heart young one." He says as he puts his hand on my chest and my heart slows down. "I know what you want to know. Do you need to fight or do you need to refuse and face the consequences." "I am the only one she has left." He smiles. "You look beautiful today cassius, almost feminine." He says with a wink. I feel a smile paints my face. "You must die cassius, and Cassia must live. For the outer world. Be careful my grandson." I smile and nod as my grandfather fades into the endless blue of our encestral home.

Being a women isn't as easy as I had hoped. The uncomfortable dresses, the endless meticulous hairstyles, the rules, the humility. I cannot eat as much as I should, I need to get a waist, so I am training daily with corsets. I am learning how to behave like a well-behaved lady and although enjoyable sometimes, I just wish I could speak openly. The day arrived, regretfully our dear cassius had died in a tragic carriage accident. But that meant that we needed to send a woman to the palaces, today the royal carriage will be here to get me. I look in the mirror and I do not recognise myself, I almost look....western. I look like those girls who are spoiled by their father. "How do I look?" I ask mum, the last time I will use my normal voice in a long time. She puts her old hands on my shoulders. "You look like a lady Cassius." I smile and turn around as I correct her with a smile on my face. "Cassia mum." I say in my girl's voice.

There will be a part three!!