The archive of the forgotten

The better one ~ enough

It's a matter of months till the exams start, time flies by because we have found our way of surviving the cold climate of the school. That includes Thrjel smiling every day as if it's a new chance, and I ignore the truths till I am lying in bed and nobody can see me cry. Almost every night we go into the woods to work on our clubhouse, Thrjel gets all the materials from the woodworking class he follows and I draft plans of construction so that it won't collapse once we are done (And even with those plans I wonder if the forest won't cause the wood to rot). Even though doing it every night practically eats our chance to sleep I am glad that we take the time to do it because every time we arrive back at the school I catch a glimpse of his giddy smile, proud that he finally made something to be proud of.
Also a good prospect is that when we've had a particularly productive night he'll sneak me into his room and I'll be allowed to sleep on a proper bed. (He takes the floor like the puppy he is.) You could call ourlife picturesque if you're a positive thinker.

The sun wakes me up, the fresh spring blows its wind through the small opening of the window. I stand up and throw the duvet that is warmer than my dreams lightly aside, my hands feel tough from the work of the evening. I grab my trousers and put them on to at least pretend I still have a need for privacy. I tread lightly so I don't wake Thrjel up, on a Saturday morning there's no reason for me to rush him. I enter the bathroom and sigh as I stretch the sleep out of my body, my bones crack and I rub the rest out of my eyes. I look in the mirror and smile lightly, it doesn't hurt to look at myself, maybe life won't hurt soon either. I grab the toothbrush Thrjel bought for me in the school shop and start to think, I've been working on two projects; the gun prototype, and the last research paper for school: I am trying to improve on both the respirators and gas masks of the mines, and honestly considering that they seem to be designed to not be functional it is much easier than expected. But a whole lot of fun. I feel a cold sensation running down my spine.

"Good morning." Thrjel says emerging behind me and retracting his hand from my spine with a smile as he looks at me while he grabs his shaving soap.
I spit out the toothpaste. "So you're the person that has been walking over my grave? I expected you to be heavier."
"Maybe dying finally gave you enough time to work out." He retorts with a chuckle. He grabs his razor and starts to shave, pushing my head down with his elbow, which I think is meant to feel like an accident. And I am very tempted to hit him, but he might cut himself so I'll wait a few minutes. I sit down on the cabinet next to him and stare at him with my familiar face of judgement as I light a cigarette.
"You know I like you better with your curls." I say as I blow smoke his way.
"What do you mean?" he asks
"Well, you comb out your curls every morning, I think you should stop with that. I really like your curls. Why do you comb them out?"
He shrugs "Mum did, I never thought not to do it."
I smile and bite my lip, I sometimes forget that not every child needs to figure half of the things of the world out alone, my hair wasn't designed to be beautiful, it isn't kempt like the way my mum did. I just did whatever was needed to both remind myself of who I was while keeping at the lowest maintenance possible, and even though some of the boys on the streets told me buzzing was easier I figured out that people knew you lived on the streets when it was buzzed. They figured you were just a fíanlynd if your hair was a bit longer.
"What's going on in that little factory of a brain of yours?" He says as he combs his hair.
I tilt my head "Absolutely nothing, just like that hollow cave of yours."
He gasps "That cave does have feelings!"
I want to put out the cigarette out on the cabinet.
"Oh don't ruin the furniture Xad!" He says, my head shoots up but he isn't even looking at me. I chuckle he knows me too well, I crumple my sleeve up and put out the hot cigarette on my arm. His head whips around. "What the fuck Xad!" He yells.
"What?" I say, frowning and looking up at him again. "I didn't put it out on the furniture."
he grabs my arm "Furniture can be replaced you only have one body."
"One that's already defunct. Come on Thrjel, it's just a burn... It hardly hurts." I say with a smile.
"I'm going to put an ashtray in every room you so much as have a chance to enter." He groans as he leaves the room. I follow him and realise the puppy might be me, I need him...
"Are you mad at me?" I ask as I follow him.
He turns around and laughs "No... I am worried Xad. You shouldn't burn yourself like that....."
I shrug "I don't do it often."
"You should never do it. Understood?" He says, his eyes angry for the first time.
"I...do." I say as I look at the floor, waiting to sink through it.