I Am Guilty

10. Realization

Bansi looked back at retreating figure of Veena and she was shaken to the core.

All the blame lied at her own feet.

Never in her dreams did she think that her little details of the family would do the damage to this extent. She was the one who had tracked down his number. She was the one who had called him a thousand times, from the college canteen and she was the one who had provided Arjun with details about Veena and her engagement.
If anyone was to be blamed, it was only her.

She looked down as warm tears rushed down to her face. Had she not talked to Arjun at all, this would have never happened. She had been thrilled to steal a few moments with the forbidden son of the house, but she had never thought that another innocent girl would face the consequences of her irrational act.

There was a reason that Arjun was a forbidden topic in the house. And she understood the reason a hard way.

She did not realize when she broke down in cries. No one had noticed until her hard sobbing caught everyone's attention.

Naren rushed ahead and gathered her in his arms and she let out her guilt and shame with another fit of whimpers. She could not stop from grieving for Veena and her destroyed life.

Aniket held his head in his palms. He did not know, how many people his sorry excuse of son was going to hurt.

It was evening when Bansi was nowhere near composed. She decided to talk to Veena and extend a heartfelt apology for her brother's deeds. She knocked on the door of the room where Veena was staying. When no response was received, she pushed opened the door and walked in. She found Veena sitting on the sofa, looking at the open window.

She quietly went near her and sat beside her.

"I am sorry." She spoke.

Veena looked at her and looked away again.
"Why are you sorry?"

"For everything. I... Don't know... He.... I hate him." Bansi broke down hiding her face behind her palms.

Veena looked at her and a chord in her heart twisted for the young naive girl. It was not her fault and still she had come to make up for her brother's mistake.
Veena pulled her in her embrace and kissed her head.

"Stop it, Bansi. I am not blaming anyone. Don't cry, please."

Bansi calmed down when Veena coaxed her. She wiped her eyes, but her chest was heaving with shaky breaths.
Both were silent for a long time.

"You had a chance to rectify this. Why didn't you sign the papers? Sahil Bhai was willing to help you." Bansi asked softly.

Veena closed her eyes briefly and opened them to look at her.

"I don't know, Bansi. But last night and today taught me a few new things."

Bansi furrowed her eyebrows.
"What do you mean?"

Veena wiped her tears away and sniffled lightly.
"Your brother wronged me, Bansi. But Sahil too did not help the situation."

Bansi was more confused than ever.
"What did Sahil Bhai do?"

"I can't put a finger on what he exactly did. But, there was a strange change of aura after this incident. When I saw him yesterday and met him today, I felt as if... as if, this is not the same Sahil I dated. Sahil was always so sweet and warm. Yes, he was demanding and, when I think back, I realized that he was a bit manipulative too, but I never witnessed this side. He was angry. As if he was losing something very big with the marriage... And I have a hunch, that something is not me."

Bansi blinked and looked away.
"You must be mistaken. He was just upset with everything."

Veena hummed but added, "He used to get upset over little things. I realize that now. But it was not the same. He did not think twice before raising his hand on me. He would have shattered my self respect had Samrat not intervened. And today, he blamed me for something I never did. Of all the people, he should know that I was loyal to him."

Bansi was taken aback.
"My brother too, shattered your self respect." She spoke in a low shameful voice.

Veena nodded in agreement.
"That he did, and I will never forgive him for that."

Bansi looked down.

"But you are still missing the point." Veena added looking faraway.

Bansi looked up at her and blinked.

"If this incident had never happened, I might have been engaged to a man who was not right for me. I can't tell now if Sahil was pretending back then or was wearing a mask today. I don't know what his real face is." Veena stated sadly.

When Bansi gulped, trying to see through the entire situation, Veena chuckled mirthlessly and poor Bansi was startled.

"See the irony, I am married to a person who is still not right for me. Arjun is as monster and Sahil is no different. He is a wolf in a sheep's clothing."

Bansi furrowed her eyebrows as she thought on the fact. Her little brain was trying to put two and two together, but there was a missing piece.

It was too difficult to crack the mystery. She asked Veena to take care and left her room.
She lay down on her bed and thought back on the situations, but nothing made any sense.

Veena had come in their lives long after Arjun was gone. They had no family relationships and she was the daughter of her father's business partner. The business was started after Arjun was gone for good.
Speaking about Sahil, he was introduced to them by Veena. She had been dating him since a year.

She could not understand why would Arjun kidnap an unknown girl and marry her? 

She was brought out of her thoughts when small footsteps were heard.
Little Geet, Naren's eight-year-old daughter came running to her.

"Bua! Where is Mumma? I am hungry."

Bansi forgot all about Veena and Arjun as she smiled at the bubbly girl.

"Come, I will give you something to eat." She gently guided the girl towards the kitchen.

"But where is Mumma?" Geet asked again.

Bansi knew, everyone was too occupied with their own thoughts. Her Bhabhi must be cooling down somewhere.
"She must be busy with something, Geet. Here, have a few cookies and milk. Dinner will be ready soon."

Geet nodded and accepted the glass of milk.
"I want Kadhi-rice for dinner."

Bansi nodded. She would pass on the demand to her mother. It was evident that since the little princess demanded, they were to eat Kadhi -rice for dinner. Her mind wondered to someone who left the home in the morning without breakfast and had not turned up for lunch. She did not know if he liked kadhi- rice.

The evening turned to night. Kadhi-rice was made and served along with pickles, fried papad and salad. Everyone pretended to be fine at the table. But both Bansi and her mother had glanced at the outhouse uncountable times.
Veena could not help but think if would come to her room unannounced like the previous night. Morsels became heavy for her and she could not stop from excusing herself from the table.

Arjun looked at the dark night from the fast moving train. He would have been on an empty stomach if Kunal had not forced him to eat the packaged train food.
He looked at the now empty packets and thought of a distant dream to eat warm simple homemade food.
Since past few years he had been eating the hotel food that he was working in as a manager.

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