|Memories Aren't Always Great|

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My mom got home not to long after I did.

"How was school Amanda?" she asked while sitting next to me sprawled out on the sofa.

"Eh."

"It's ok to still be..uhm, scared sweetie."

My eyes went glassy and my vision was blurred, I was no longer blinking...my mind went back to the day I will be mortified of for the rest of my life.

I walked into the mens bathroom, I still can't believe Mr. Matthews made me clean the school with the janitors as my "detention" like who des that??

I couldn't shake the strange janitor that starred at me when Joe the head Janitor was telling me what my job was..it was so emotionless, so creepy, it gave me the feeling of fear. I put my earphones on and began to scrub the urinals. I was unaware that anyone had entered the bathroom..I still couldn't believe Joe would make me clean this. 

I barerly had time to react, a rough hand came from behind me and clenched my jaw while another hand slid a thick piece of grey duckt tape over my lips. My eyes bolted to the man behind me.

Sam, the janitor who creeped me out earlier stood there with evil in his eyes..I could feel it.. I stayed down on my knees not bothering to stand up, his lips curled up into a crooked evil smirk, I started to cry but no noise came out. He brought his hand to my cheek and started caressing my face softly like he wasn't about to violate me.

He leaned in "Now, if I take this tape off to kiss you...will you scream?"

I continued to stare at the ground not daring to look at him. He reached up to my mouth and ripped off the tape as fast as he could. I yelped and looked to the door, of course the bastard locked it from the inside.

He started touching my face again..moving the loose strands of hair out of the way and tucking them behind my ear. He leaned in closer to kiss me and before making contact he paused..and all that was heard was my erratic breathing, "Shh" he whispered before crashing his lips onto mine, I was overwhelmed with his stench, it wasn't a common smell like B/O or trash, it was the scent of 'him' that disgusted me...he was sweaty and damp, his mouth moved like an inexperienced boy having his first makeout session on my still lips. He was breathing rapidly his hands roamed my body grabbing at everything they could, he was greedy.

He started pushing himself on top of me, making me lay on the floor, I put my hands against his chest..using the little strength I had to push him off but with each push he put more pressure on me, I could taste my own tears, there were so many. He started forcing his hand down my jeans, everything seemed like it was happening quickly, the more his hand got past my waist band the tighter I clenched my legs together.

He was getting frustrated, he sat up straddling me and pryed my legs open , he had vicious sick lust in his eyes. I whimpered when his hand flew to my pants to unbuckle them.

"Don't make any noise!" he growled.

"Please I'll do anything but don't do what I think your gonna do.."

He stopped and looked me in the eyes..."and what's that?"

I couldn't keep eye contact.
"Rape me" I whispered.

He smirked, "Im not going to rape you, im going to make love to you..and Im going to do more for you than a boy your age can." I know.. sickening.

He went back to trying to pull my pants down my waist. "But Im a virgin!" I blurted.."Please." hoping maybe he'd change his mind.

He looked at me again,
"Thats even better, your first time can be with a real man."

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