I Want You... (EDITING)

|See You Later..|

That night was the worst night of my life, and no.. I'm not refering to what happened between Robert and I. As I was outside on my front steps thinking about what I was going to do about well, everything. A police car came driving slowly down my street, they pulled up into my driveway. Two men in their suits got out of their cruisers and walked up to me, they both looked weary and uncomfortable. My first instinct was that they had something to say about the Investigation with Sam.."Excuse me Miss. Is this the DeAngelo household?" I got up and looked awkwardly at him, "Um...yea?" "We would like to speak with the rest of your family as well, are they present?" I nodded.."Um yes, one second."..I went to the living room, "Mom the police want to speak to us all." she looked confused and got up, my dad turned off the t.v. and walked behind her, "Hi can I help you?" she said in her pleasent voice as always. "Are you the parents of  Charles Landon DeAngelo?" My mom nodded, "Yes we are." the pollice men glanced at eachother..."We're sorry to inform you that your son was in a car accident about 40 minutes ago...it seems that his vehicle was t-boned by a semi-truck on the drivers side, he was alone..." the man looked down and cleared his throat..."he passed on impact mam." I looked at the man with no emotion...'that's impossible, what? This must be some stupid joke that Charlie set up...he would do that...he would...' My mom started to shake..."Paramedics did all they could do to revive him but...he didn't react. We are deeply sorry." It was silent for a moment before my mom burst out into tears, she was literally wailing. My mom slumped down to the  ground, still shaking, my dad was on his knees hugging her and sobbing, all I could make from her crys were, "No...No, I saw him before he left...why....no." I stood there watching my parents fall apart infront of me...they say that there are 5 stages when dealing with death..one of them is denial. I think that is what was happening to me...I backed away slowly, Im pretty sure I hadn't blinked and my breaths were long and shallow. I turned around and slowly tried to walk up the stairs, I grabbed onto the railing as if it were saving me from falling. When I got to the top of the stairs my body collapsed against the railing and the reality started to sink in. I started to take in short quick breaths and I felt as if my heart was going to fly out of my mouth and my stomach was turning, I think I was having a anxiety attack. I held onto the railing as tears rolled down my cheeks, but I couldn't form any sound. Looking down the stairs were my parents still on the ground breaking to pieces. The police men stepped in and helped my mother up, they led her into the living room with my father behind. And I just sat there, it's like I lost the ability to hear. One of the police men walked up the stairs, and he sat next to me, "I know...this must be really hard for you all right now sweetheart, but one day things will get better." I apprieciated his attempt at consoling me but I shook my head, "No, they won't. But thanks for trying." I said quietly..I got up a bit shaky, I walked to my room and closed the door I layed in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. I didn't want to know anymore about the accident..I had already heard what I needed to hear. I didn't want to see my parents being hysterical...I didn't want to hear the police try and make things seem not as bad as they were. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep because my head was throbbing from the crying.

_

  That weekend....the 4th of July weekend that I was once so excited about was when we held Charlie's wake and funeral. Alot of people came to pay their respects, his college friends...his high school friends..all of our family from all over the country...even though they never got along my mom invited Robert. Ivy and Josh came...and so did Chris. Before I gave my speech Josh told me something I never knew about him..."I know exactly how you feel Amanda, this will pass on." I scoffed, "Oh yeah how do you know?" "Because my twin brother died when I was 13." I looked at him, "What?" "Remember when we first hung out...I told you I had a twin brother..." "Oh...I didn't catch that, I'm sorry." I said quietly, "I understand...his name was Joaquin..he had cancer, and he had been fighting it since we were young." I was quiet for a bit.."I know you're trying to help and make.me feel better and I apprieciate it, I apprieciate everyone here. But...I just need to handle things on my own time...thank you for telling me and trying." I gave him a sad smile and walked up to give my speech. James had apologized for hitting Robert and losing his temper I told him I didn't really care about that amymore and we were okay again. But he didn't come to the funeral, my mom chose me to do the Eulogy...at first I didn't want to, I had hardly spoken to anyone...I spent all my time in my room on my computer working on something...but my mom insisted that I do it because out of all the people Charlie knew I was the one he always spoke about and I was the one that knew him the best. I ended up agreeing to it because I felt that I needed to...to make things right between us in some way. The things I said to Charlie at my graduation party were horrible....and I never got to apologize to him face to face, I never got to speak to him again...so I took this as my chance for a formal goodbye. My Eulogy was short because I took all our childhood videos and pictures together and I put them into a 4 minute video that I played right after my speech. The video had clips of us doing silly things as kids, halloween pictures, holiday pictures, the last picture was of Charlie hugging me in my cap and gown right after my graduation ceremony. I was able to stay strong throughout most of the video..until that last part, because I knew that was the last good memory I would ever have with my brother.