I Want You... (EDITING)

|Trying To Forget|

I was sitting at home when Ivy called me, "Hello?" "Ya I called Amanda she's going to her house to get her stuff today." she was still mad I could tell by her voice, "When?" "Dunno." "Okay thanks Ivy!" I hung up and grabbed grabbed my car keys, she could.be there right now for all I know. I got in my car and sped to her house. Her car wasn't there but there was a black charger...I knew it was Chris. I drove into the drive way and got of my car...honestly I didn't even care about anything except getting to Amanda at that point. I knocked furiously on the door until Kathy finally answered it, she looked at me shocked, "What do you think you are doing?" "Sorry Kathy." I muttered while running in and up the stairs. Amanda's bedroom door was closed...I opened it and just seeing her standing there took the air out of me..."Amanda..." I said while trying to catch my breath...what I saw next was enough to kill me. Chris fucking Evans coming out of her bathroom with a box of her things, I honestly couldn't believe it...and the entire time..it took all my strength not to rip his head off.

Once she walked out the door with her things and Chris right behind her..I mentally broke down, I walked down the stairs to Kathy standing there watching Chris and Amanda..drive away, she looked at me and I couldn't look at her.."I lost her." was all I was able to say. I walked.past her and outside..I got in my car and started driving...I don't even know where I was going, I was just aimlessly driving, my mind was somewhere else..Yea, I have gone through break ups before Im 44 I probanly should taken it better, but trith be told I was destroyed. Amanda was something else..and when she looked me in the eyes and said "We are done." I felt like my whole world just shattered to pieces right infront of me. And to make everything a whole whole.lot worse...I decided to turn on the radio to maybe help and drownd out my thoughts but our song came on..our first ever slow song that we danced to during Prom came on.."Remember us and all we used to be" was the only part of the song that I could stand before I lost it, I was on the express-way, I pulled over and turned off my car..I put my head down on the wheel and for the first time in a long time I bawled my eyes out, "Fucking James Blunt." I mumbled to myself....of all the times for that song to come on like seriously what are the odds! It's funny cus I was never that kinda guy to be so destroyed or cry when it came to relationships, usually I did the breaking up..usually I was the heartbreaker. But Amanda did it to me.

After a good 20 minutes of silence and tears. I regathered myself and wiped away the tears while starting my car, 'Come on man stop crying..that won't get her back'...I drove back home and this time I played it safe and didn't turn on the radio, I have a stable job, a home, hobbies family and friends...but without Amanda...I don't know what I am, probably just this sad middle aged guy... the fact that she said, "We will talk soon" is my little window of hope, and I intend on fixing everything.

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*Amanda's POV*

Chris brought in the last box amd set it next to the rest of my things..he sat down next to me and sighed...we both just sat there slouched into the sofa. He looked over at me, "You good?.." I nodded, "Yea...I don't know." I kept telling myself not to cry but I couldn't even control it..I put my head down and bit my lip..."I just...I miss him so much." Chris extended his arm and pulled me over to him and into a hug...he rubbed his hand up and down my arm. "Things will be okay..you did what you had to do." I sniffled a bit and looked at him, "You should be like conselor or something." he scoffed, "Uhm, why?"..I shrugged, "You're a good listener...andddd you're good at consoling?" he threw his head back and laughed, "I don't have patience for stangers problems..just you, feel special." I punched his shoulder and he got up, "Ready for round two at Wii Boxing?" he said while turning on the Wii, I sat up and smiled, "Ready to lose...again?" I said..he smirked and ignored me...I could get use to Chris making me feel better.

-1 week later-

I was sitting infront of my laptop applying to my third college that night, Chris came and sat next to me with a cup of coffee for me and him, "Thanks." I said before taking a sip. "So are you just gonna spend the rest of the night doing this?" I looked at him.."Well.....what else is there to do?" he got up, "Well there is only a whole world out there!" I laughed, "No shit...but what do you wanna do?" he stuffed his hands in his pockets.."The guys did invite me out to a club...soo we can go there?" I furroweded my eyebrows, "You have friends?" he looked at me blankly, "Fuck you..come on lets go!" "Alright alright." I said while laughing..."let me just finish applying to this one and I'll get dressed." "Kay I'm jumping in the shower, put on something sexy!" he said before leavinf the room I rolled my eyes and laughed..I really hope this isn't some plan to hook me up with some one. I'm not ready...I'm not even over Robert...I tell myself I am but in reality I'm not..I haven't talked to him since the confrontation at my house..he hasn't text or called me. I still plan on talking to him, but not yet. I'm still inlove with him...madly, but we need this. This is for the best.