melancholy feelings ~m.m~

part eleven

ugh i love my man

꧁y/n's pov꧂

i walked home, side by side with ethan. hes nice and pretty funny. but, he never shuts up. and he doesnt get my humor.

"and i was saying how stupid that shii is, ya know?" he turned, making me snap out of my thoughts. hes coming over today to help me get a cheap vpn so i can watch better shows and movies.

"yeah, definitely. i hate those kinds of people" i said as if i was paying attention the whole time. to be honest, i pretty much do that with everyone.

"see, this is why you the only female i like. you get me." he sighed with a small smile. i felt my face scrunch up at the word. whats so hard about saying girl?

"uh...yeah." i muttered, rounding the corner with him by my side. dont get me wrong, hes nice. but he tries too hard.

i see miles' school in the distance. i smile slightly; now even more distracted from ethans yapping. rio made me more food and said it was supposed to help my immune system. she reminds me a lot of my own mom.

she lives in new jersey. shes a professor at princeton university. when nick decided to move back to brooklyn, i went with him. i hated new jersey. shes currently trying to figure out something to do with parallel universes. i dont really know. everytime she tries to explain it to me it sounds like shes talking in sims.

"yo- a/n?" (annoying nickname.) he called to me. i hated when he called me that. it wasn't even funny.

"huh?" i turn my head, my brows furrowed.

"are you even listenin'?" he seemed offended. i pause, making the silence grow thick.

"yeah, of course. you were talking about that one girl" i lie again, praying silently that it was right. i really only care to keep him as a friend because i want my cheap vpn. and i dont want to have to ask miles.

recently, we've been hanging out too much. its scaring me. i dont and do know why. its hard to explain.

ethan just huffed and shrugged. "my bad, g. thought you wasnt" his misuse of grammar made me cringe. i get slang, i mean, i even use it. but i cant stand when people mix up werent and wasnt, good and well, and many others. say whatever you want, i guess. but im allowed to cringe whenever i want too.

"yeah, its fine. keep goin'" i tell him, hoping he thinks i actually care. because if i care, he will care. and if he cares, he'll actually try and find the cheapest one. so, i keep fake caring.

eventually, we reach my apartment. and i see miles and some girl outside, talking. my eyes narrow. who is she? shes short, pretty. with big, curly brown hair and dark skin. but monolid eyes. shes cheery and charasmatic as she talks. and miles seems interested.

i realize how stupid i look studying the two in matching uniforms. suddenly, i wish i went to brooklyn visions. would i look as good as her in the uniform? would i have even caught miles attention like she obviously did?

the bitter jealousy towards this random girl makes me angry at myself. i have no idea who she is. plus, why do i care so much? i dont even like miles let alone like like him.

i walk past both with ethan still yapping away. but, as i almost make it through the door, i feel a hand grab my shoulder. i glance back and see miles smirking at me.

"not even a hi, mami?" he chuckled. i feel my jaw tighten as i realize how he sees right through me. through my jealousy. he always does.

"oh, my bad. i didnt wanna interrupt" i lie. partially. maybe i did. maybe i didnt. he shouldnt know. but he does.