What if Bill Cipher met Alastor?

Chapter 10: awkward conversation and facing Lucifer

Alastar tries opening up: "I would really like to give this weird thing a try but I feel like it isn't me, you understand? I'm an evil killer hungry for power and blood! Not a softie looking for lOvE. FuCkInG lOvE!"

Bill: "I feel the same way. I feel kinda embarrassed about this whole thing honestly. I'm a fearsome interdimensional ancient being and you are a little demon trying to be an overlord real bad. No offence, Al."
Alastor's eyes twitch.

Bill sighs and then continues: "What I want to say is that... we still can be our usual evil wicked depraved selves on the outside! Nobody has to know about our very close friendship. We can just keep it to ourselves, rule Hell together. We can be wickedly cruel to others but we can be softies around each other behind closed doors when nobody else can see it!"

Alastor breaks out of the hug and gives him an affectionate smile: "I very much like the sound of that!"

Bill asks Alastor in an excited voice: "So my dear, how about we get started with taking over Hell?"

Alastor gulped slightly while also grinning in an evil way: "What about Lucifer?"
Bill shrugged: "He'll definitely overpower you. But not me. So I suggest you stay somewhere safe while I take down Lucifer. I don't want Lucifer or one of his minions to get you so they can use you against me. You are..."
His voice fails. Embarrassed, he whispers: "You are my weakness, Al. I couldn't stand anything happening to you."

Alastor shot him a surprised but also kind of love-struck look. Even though he would never admit it. Instead, he just stutters: "I'm... speechless."

Bill cringes over himself: "Heck, I've become too soft! It's pathetic, really. Caring for someone is such a weakness!"

Alastor awkwardly tried comforting him: "Bill, we've talked about this. Nobody has to know about this. We'll keep this to ourselves. We'll only show our softer side to each other, alrighty? Now... I'll go hide. As pathetic as that sounds, egh. And you'll take down Lucifer and his naive little brat. Should be easy for you, you interdimensional triangle."
Bill chuckes slightly: "You're right. Well... stay safe, my weirdo."

Alastor looks at him as if he wanted a nice show of affection before he leaves. You never know. Maybe he won't make it. Or Alastor will be found from one of Lucifer's minions.
Heck, Alastor wasn't even sure what exactly he wanted or kind of expected from Bill right now before leaving. Did he want to hold hands for a few moments? Hug? Lay his arm on him? Say some nice affectionate things to each other?
Alastor visibly frowned as he became utterly disgusted with his thoughts.

Bill blinked at him with slight confusion: "Is anything wrong, pal?"
Alastor tries explaining it: "You're making me feel very contradicting things. It's... confusing."

Bill blushed a bit: "Well... you don't mean anything naughty, right?"
Alastor blushed heavily and waved around with his arms in a panic: "NO! NO! NO! This is definitely not what I meant! I mean... how would that even work? You're a triangle. And secondly, I have no interest in sexual interactions anyway."

Bill relaxed: "I mean... if you ever change your mind about it or you feel comfortable to try out something new, I could take a humanoid form for that occasion. But don't worry, I'm also rather... not interested in it. Like... not totally uninterested but also not very interested, got it?"

Alastor nods. He felt very uncomfortable: "Well I'll go hide away before this gets even more awkward."
Bill agrees: "Good call."

Bill dematerialises and searches for Lucifer's palace.

Meanwhile in Lucifer's palace:

Lucifer: "It's been 2 weeks and they still haven't attacked."
Charlie: "I think soon after my one hand was turned into stone, they went their seperate ways. Alastor has been taking down all the overlords on his own lately. Without the help of Cipher."

Lucifer scoffs: "I didn't expect it any other way. Such power-hungry people like Alastor and Cipher could never form a genuine bond! They will fight each other so they can be the one with the most power. Both strive to be the ones pulling the strings. But not both of them can do that. So of course... as soon as they came to that inevitable realization, they betrayed each other."

Charlie: "That's so comforting to hear. I've been so worried about the two of them ever since the attack."
Lucifer holds his daughter's hand reassuringly: "Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you!"

Suddenly, they heard a voice say in a mocking tone: "Awww, how heart-warming!"

Lucifer whispers in an alarmed tone: "Is that Cipher?"
Charlie just nods, not daring to make any sound.

Bill appears in his fighting form right in front of them, saying in a distorted tone: "Too bad I'll have to disassemble your molecules to make room for me and my cute weirdo on the throne!"
Lucifer was slightly taken off guard: "Your... what?"

Bill points his finger at Charlie, shooting her with his laser.
"CHARLIE!", Lucifer screamed.

Bill growled: "If you give up your throne now, you may run away with your offspring! If you don't take my very generous offer, I'm afraid I'll actually have to kill the both of you!"

Lucifer shouts and wields his staff for attack with full force: "I don't think you're as powerful as you purport!"

Lucifer hit Bill surprisingly badly but it was nothing Bill couldn't handle: "Is that all you've got, small man?"

Lucifer ignored the attempt of provocation but then Charlie was screaming in pain.
"CHARLIE!", he screamt while rushing to her.
She was caughing up blood.

Bill cackled manically: "You better flee as long as you can, former king, because if you don't, I'll take your dying daughter..." His voice distorts heavily: "... and give her corpse to my dear Alastor to feast on!"

Lucifer actually became scared. If he was being alone facing Cipher, he would fight him until death. But with his daughter's life on the line, he couldn't do that. He had to take care of her wounds now until it is too late. So Lucifer surrendered, took his severely-wounded daughter and ran off.
Hell now officially belonged to Bill and Alastor. Bill laughed: "My partner will be more than happy with this. Hahahahaha."