Shadows and Secrets

Chapter 14

I had never cried before in my life, not when my stepbrothers set my hands on fire, not when I was dumped at Windhaven and not when my heart broke. I had just confessed my broken heart to Elain, she told me that she had also loved me. I just needed time. My heart would never recover from the blow of Elain accepting her mating bond, and Bel had healed my shattered heart. Now Elain had told me that I could have had a chance with her, my heart couldn't take it anymore. I just sat and cried in the silent forest.

A few hours later, I managed to pull myself together. I started to walk. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I knew I was in love with Bel. But I didn't know how to tell her. I also didn't want to hurt her. I didn't know whether she would be willing to be with a male after what Tamlin had done to her. But I know I would have to tell her eventually. I couldn't not tell her that she was my mate. Like Rhys had said, it was better for her to just know. I continued to walk throughout the night. When the sun started to rise, I collapsed on the floor from exhaustion. I just needed more time. I couldn't tell her that her life was tied to mine. She had only had a month of freedom.

A month pasted, and I stayed in the forest. There was enough to eat and drink and I had all the time I needed to try and sort out my emotions. I knew I would have to go back eventually. I had been gone longer than even I had anticipated. I needed to know whether she loved me before I sprinted this information on her. There was only one way I could tell, but that way had died years ago. But it was worth a shot.

I dropped a cloak onto the floor as an offering. I knew it wouldn't work , but I at least had to try. Feyre had managed this many times, I was sure I could. I waited, and I waited. Hours passed and nothing happened. I was beginning to lose hope that this would work, when I heard a rustle. I looked up and was shocked at what I was seeing. The Suriel. The Suriel was here. The Suriel had died years ago, but was here. I looked at the creature and asked, "Are you real?" I was sure I was just seeing things as I had been sat waiting there for hours.
"Yes and no, Azriel, I am just a spirit. A ghost of what I once were." The Suriel says as I edge my way through the clearing. "You may ask me one question Azriel."
I could ask the Suriel many questions. I wanted to know so much. But I asked the question that had been bugging me for months. "Does my mate love me?"
"Ah. Indeed Azriel. Your mate does. She is wondering when you'll be home, as has decided that she'll confess the next time she sees you." The Suriel answers.
My heart skips a beat. She loves me. She loves me. My mate loves me. I had a chance with her. I went to respond the the Suriel, but I found the clearing empty.

The sun was setting as I winnowed my way back to Velaris. Tonight I would find Bel. Tonight I would tell her everything. Tonight I would tell her we were mates. Tonight I would tell her I loved her.