Our Turn: Book One (Remastered: SAMS AU)

Chapter 13

Eclipse's breathing was staggered with a smile that screamed insanity as he struggled to grasp reality. He tried to stand but to no avail, breathing getting harder and heavier and scrambling on the ground. Everything hurt within their body. Reality was still warped; nothing was real.

They banged the back of their head against the wall, but the pain wasn't registered as the world was painting a picture of making Eclipse feel even more insane and guilty. It was their fault. It was Eclipse's fault that they got hurt. It was true, wasn't it? After all, what's punishment without revenge mixed in. Eclipse knew that this wasn't revenge. It was his punishment. It was his fault that he was getting hurt. It was his fault that he was getting thrown into walls, burned, waterboarded, branded, stripped naked, humiliated, starved, deprived of sleep and water... it was Eclipse's fault that they were pinned to the ground and taken advantage of.

That's what the mind of Eclipse was telling him anyway. He couldn't grasp the thought that none of the actions of others being thrown onto him was not his fault, but the guilt was so deeply rooted into him that it only grew stronger. Eclipse was haunted by the actions of those who laid their hands on him. By those who used the weapons of punishment. By that of being verbally beaten down until the mind of Eclipse broke more and more until it shattered completely into making the victim into truly believing that the victim was the only one who was truly to blame.

On edge. Rooted with fear. Guard high beyond belief. Every little sound or movement resulted in panic, throwing oneself into the wall to get away, refusing to sleep, and refusing to charge until they were forced to.

Eclipse's voice was weak and small as if he lost it all. Lost all confidence and the will to even take control of the situation he was in. It was all too much. He couldn't even count the many times he tried to take his own life due to the guilty chains weighing him down. Insane mutters escape his throat; yet barely audible, one could vaguely make out the words that Eclipse was saying.

"My fault. My fault. My fault... I deserve it. I deserve it. My actions are my own. I'm sorry." Eclipse's weak tone dulled even more as their body shook in terror, fear, and regret.

This regret... was the cause of their tormentors. Of course, it wasn't the tormentors' fault. It was Eclipse's! Eclipse was the reason that their tormentors were doing this! Eclipse needed to be taught a valuable lesson! This was the only way that Eclipse would ever learn.

Eclipse laid on the ground.

He sobbed.

He didn't know anymore.

He didn't know anything anymore.

Was it his fault? Was his own mind just tricking him? If so, in what way? Which way? How?

Eclipse couldn't even trust himself.