Chapter 8: Nothing Happened (Levi's POV)

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My best friend wants to talk. I'm sure it's about the party. Of course, I felt it too, that intense desire to be with her. She pulled me back in after the timer went off and if none of them were there I'm sure we'd have gone further. Just how far does my best friend want to go with me? I'd touch her all over the place if she'd let me. I might have fallen for her ages ago and needed Justin's interest in her to help me realize that.

Kelsi and I meet at the ice skating arena. It's a small outdoor one. It's similar to the one at the ski lodge. If we keep spending all this time together maybe she doesn't really want Justin. I've agreed to help her practice for the ski trip but something is happening between us. I can't let her go through with it can I? Do I have a say in anything she decides?

Kelsi gets out of her car and her curly brown hair flies around in the breeze. She smiles and her little dimples appear at the edges of her face.

"You look..." Fuck I can't finish that sentence.

"Awful? I know I didn't have time to get ready properly this morning. Thanks for reminding me."

"Beautiful. You look beautiful, Kelsi. You always do." Fuck am I going all in with her today? Maybe I need to.

"Thanks, Levi. I didn't know you...thought of me..."

We're both skirting around each other. The pact is painful. But it's there to keep our friendship intact. She really is one of my best friends but it's clear that I...love her. Fuck I think I really have fallen for her more than a best friend should.

"Well, of course I notice you, Kelsi. We've kind of grown up together. It's hard not to notice when your best friend is hot. If some guy is going to tell you it has to be me first."

My heart is already pounding. I've taken it upon myself to hold her hand again. She laces our fingers together and I pull her in for a hug. She leans her head up to look at me. I'd love to kiss her again but I don't.

"What's happening between us, Levi? I'm confused...so confused. And you are someone I don't want to be confused about."

The truth is I don't want to be confused about us either. If we're confused we might do something stupid to hurt our friendship. But our chemistry and her gorgeous face distract my focus.

"I don't know, Kelsi. All I know is lately I like spending time with just you. I know it's stupid. But can we not label this right now? I'll still help you practice for the ski trip like you want. Let's just have fun together, okay?"

Kelsi stands on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. It startles me a bit, as she pulls away.

"Sorry. I'm not sure why I did that. But yeah, we can just have fun together without labels right now. Labels are overrated anyways." She grabs my hand again and it's like she's giving us permission to test the waters out.

"Kelsi, what did you want to ask me anyway?"

She stops in her tracks and lets go of my hand.

"I wanted to ask if you felt anything when we played the game the other night. Did it feel as intense as I thought it did?"

My heart pounds at this question. I knew it had to do with the game and how intensely we kissed. I didn't want it to stop either and neither did she. It's a conversation we need to have mine as well be honest now.

"It was intense and if the timer didn't go off, I don't know if I would have wanted to stop." Kelsi looks at me and blushes. She usually tries to hide her blushing face from me, but not today.

"I didn't want you to stop. But...I know we have this pact between us. And I'm so confused about..." Kelsi's eyes are turning red and I understand why. This could be the death of a friendship if we hurt each other. But she just admitted she didn't want me to stop.

"We could make a few changes to our pact. Maybe if we are ever that intense again and we don't want to stop...we won't. Because I didn't want to stop either, Kelsi. I don't know what's come over me lately." We're actually doing it having this intense conversation. Whether it's necessary or not has yet to be seen.

"What do we do now, Levi? We can't just go back to the way it was and pretend that the game didn't change us."

"If we need to do that, I think we could. I would at least try for you if you wanted me to. Do you agree that if we're ever alone like that again and get carried away that if we don't want to stop we are safe enough to keep going? I'd treat you right Kelsi, if you'd ever..."

Kelsi looks at me, and her eyes are red. The tears have started up, she's whimpering a little. I'm not sure if it's because this conversation scares her or gives her relief.

"Levi...I agree with what you're saying. What if I want my first time to be with you? What would you say?" Kelsi's shoulders tremble, she's confused by these surfacing feelings we share. We admit we have feelings but don't do anything to get into a relationship.

Kelsi has asked a tough question, one of the biggest ones I wasn't expecting her to ask. What do you do when your best friend asks you to be the one they lose their virginity to?

"Let me think about that one, Kelsi. It's not that I don't want to...but that's a lot to ask. I'd love to be that guy for you. But there's so much at stake. But if we ever were alone and things got that heated I don't think I could stop. I think Kelsi...that we're more than friends. Maybe we always were."

"You can't label us today, remember? We can't be more than friends, we can't. We promised."

"I don't know what we are. I just really like you, Kelsi. I...really...like...you...a lot."

I hold her head in my hands and put my lips on hers. I wrap my arms around her neck and don't care anymore. Her soft lips open up for me and she kisses me back. Her tongue flies into my mouth and our tongues are touching. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me. I put my hand behind her neck and hold her tighter. We head to the back woods where no one can see us. She presses into me harder and I can't help it, I moan into her mouth. She tastes so good, I shouldn't know how my best friend tastes but I do. She's intoxicating and I want to have her everywhere. I want every inch of her to be mine.

She pulls away and gets off me. I let her go. It's not my place to keep her where she might not want to be.

"Levi, I need time to think about this. It's a lot. For what it's worth, I really like you too. But I'm not ready yet. I definitely want my first time to be with you. I'll let you know when I'm ready for that, okay?"

I smile at her, it's crazy how we can still bounce back to being best friends after touching like that. That party eased the tension between us and it confirmed it too. We have a lot of tension to release, and years of build-up wanting to come out. If we're this intense at kissing, I'm going to fall in love if we ever have sex. I might already be in love with Kelsi Long right now and not even realize it.

We walk out of the woods and head to the ice skating shack. We act as if nothing happened.

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