Chapter 13: I Miss You (Kelsi's POV)

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My best friend is suspended from school. Orion Strauss let me know in a text message. News of Levi's fight with Justin is spreading like wild fire.

"I heard they fought over Kelsi Long." Whispers and rumors are spreading. The quiet moments I've shared with Levi have broken through the cracks.

"I heard she kissed Levi at a party." A sophomore, Linda Lue, says.

"She made out with Justin at another." Voices echo and bounce off the walls. The walls get smaller and smaller like a claustrophobic nightmare. My body shivers and I can't breathe or think straight. All eyes are focused on me. I'm the source of their entertainment and hatred.

I've betrayed my best friend some say. I've been a fool not to notice Levi this whole time others gossip. On and on, in every class period their eyes, voices, and whispers follow me around. This must be how famous people feel when the tabloids expose their every waking move, thought, and action. It's an exposing feeling.

Every moment I've shared with Levi seems to be known about, even the ones we never talked about with anyone else. Even Scarlett's given into the morning gossip. She doesn't mean to it's just her nature to try to set the record straight. But by doing so she is merely giving them more ammunition to use against me later. The worst part is Levi won't answer my texts. Despite Justin's threat I want nothing to do with him at this point. I just want my best friend back more than anything.

Will we ever return to a time when Levi and I can be friends again? Can we ever go back? I hold my thoughts in and keep to myself. My emotions can be swallowed whole. I can hold myself back from Levi Baron. We don't have to be more than friends. I just want him back. Back to when we didn't touch. Back to when we didn't kiss. I'd give anything to have that Levi back. The one I could tell any thing too. Why did I let myself fall for him? What the hell was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't or I wouldn't be in the hot mess I am currently in now.

Being left with my thoughts is a dangerous place to be in. It's a tangled web beneath my head of hair. My thoughts deceive me and there's no telling fact from fiction anymore. The rumors, lies, and heartache of missing Levi during his suspension is too much for me to bare. What if I skipped the ski trip entirely? No one is making me go. What if I removed myself from their ridicule and gossip? They'd find someone else to gossip about. Would that be such a bad thing?

Scarlett will drag me on that trip. What if Orion asked Levi to stay behind? What if Justin showed up and I was never there? Is it too late to transfer schools and have a new group of friends? Yeah, too late for that last one I suppose.

By the time lunch rolls around I've lost my appetite. My stomach acts hungry but then the emotions flip and the one eighty happens. When that happens I go numb and my stomach churns more than anything else. The burning sensation forces me to sit in the bathroom. I skip eating and the gossip continues around me while I sit in the bathroom stall.

"Kelsi, are you here? I've been looking everywhere for you." It's Scarlett's voice. She pushes the door open and finds me.

"Do you mind? I need my space." She pulls my arm and forces me unto my feet.

"We're getting out of here. We're ditching school and we're getting you a smoothie. You need to eat something."

Scarlett knows my eating habits better than anyone. I don't argue. I follow her down the hallway and we get into her car. The teachers were too busy breaking up a fight to notice us slipping out of the building. I only have photography and study hall left anyway. I can study later and it's photography. All my work for that class has been turned in already.

Scarlett opens the door for me. I get into the car. We quickly find ourselves at a drive thru window. Scarlett orders for me the way she always does. There's no point in arguing we've already left the school premises. Ditching school might be just the thing to get me kicked out of the ski trip. If Levi can get suspended so can I. It's hard to be at school without Levi. It's better to get suspended and have time with him, isn't it?

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