No Homo

Promise Me You'll Stop

Heeey. I'll start writing now. Byee enjoy reading xoxox
****TRIGGER WARNING****
Phil's POV

"What do you mean 'life'?"

"You asked me, 'what happened to you' so I answered"

It's been half an hour since I've been fully awake and Dan and I have been talking since. In other words, he won't leave me alone.

"But what does that mean?"
"Life happened"
"Explain"
"That's a lot of work Dan"
"Philll"
I groan.
"I just want to die OK, let's just leave it at that"
"No. Why do you want to?"
"Because I hate myself"
"Why?"
"I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm worthless, I can't do anything right, I'm weird, my tongue pokes out when I laugh and it's gross, I'm annoying, I'm a screw up, I'm pathetic, I'm stupid, I'm-"
"Stop"
"Why?"
"None of that is true"
"Yes it is"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"I could do this all night"
"That's what she said" he chuckles out making me roll my eyes and blush slightly.
"Your blush is cute" he whispers making me blush even more and hide my face.
I feel his hands wrap around my wrists making me jump slightly and my heart stop. He can't feel them, he can't feel them, it's fine, he doesn't know.
"Phil...?"
"Y-yeah?"
"Why'd you jump?"
Shit.
"Because..." I trail off thinking of an excuse but it's too late. I feel him starting to pull my sleeves up. My heart beat gets quicker and quicker.
Nothing. Wrong wrist. Thank god.
He starts to lift up the other one and I pull my arm back to my chest.
"Phil" Dan starts "Let me see"
I whimper and put my arm out hiding my face with my other arm, well sleeve considering I'm sporting kitten paws right now. I feel him lifting up my sleeve and continue to hide my face holding back tears.
"Fucking hell" he whispers "How long have you been.."
"A few years"
"Years? And I never noticed?"
"There were months between when I was clean"
"We're you doing it when we first met?"
"Yeah and before we met"
"Phil.."
"What?"
"Promise me you'll stop"
"I can't-"
"Please"
"I'll try"
"OK" he whispers again and pulls my sleeve down. He quickly pulls me into a hug making my breath stop but I still hug back wrapping my arms around his neck. His head finds it's way to the crook of my neck with his arms around my waist. I hear little sniffles by my ear and feel my heart slowly start to tear. I caused that. There I go again, hurting people I love. Fuck.
"Hey Dan..." I say softly
"Yeah?" he sniffles
"Don't cry"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be. Hey maybe I know something that'll help you feel better"
"Like?"
"Cuddlinggg" I say more childishly than I wanted to. I feel him smile in my neck.
"That will make me feel better" he says pulling me closer making me squeal.
"Now who's room?" he asks making me realize we're still in the bathroom, just sitting on the floor.
"Yours" I say and start moving trying to get up so we can walk there but Dan's arms won't let me.
"No" he mumbles in my neck "I'm gonna carry you" he finishes and stands up making me squeal again and bury my face in his neck this time. I hear him chuckle and feel him starting to walk.

-in his room-

"You smell yummy" I mumble in his chest making him laugh while playing with my hair. "Thanks" he says after his laughter calmed down "You smell yummy too" he finishes making me blush. I bury my face deeper in his chest making him laugh lightly again. I feel him shuffle and shut out the light whispering "Time to go to sleep, you had a long day" and then he does something I've dreamt about since we first met, he pecks my forehead. I know dorky af but it's cute and just shh /.\. I hear Dan humming softly to a song that I can't put my finger on while I bury my face in his chest further and let sleep take me over.