Hey sorry for the long delay. I haven't been feeling so well soo, sorry. On with the story I guess.
*Trigger warning*
Phil's POV
I wake up feeling the urge slowly growing back. I can't do it, he'll get mad at me. I slowly sit up going over to my boxer drawer and grabbing out my blade. I lock my door and sit on my bed in my boxers and white tee shirt. I look at the scars all over my thighs and sigh. Do I seriously wanna do this..? I think to myself. I bring it my thigh slowly feeling myself start to shake already. He'll yell...
....
....
..fuck it
I bring the blade across my skin feeling it tear open but feel nothing. I'm used to it. I make 20 cuts on each thigh and the dull sting starts to buzz itself to my mind as the blood flows out of the separated skin. The red liquid appearing somehow soothing me like a lullaby sung by a mother to her newborn child. As comforting and as beautiful as the autumn atmosphere. Am I this fucked up? Am I this far gone..? I can't seem to care.
"Phil..?" I hear his voice enter my ears filling my mind and I throw the blade. I start to hyperventilate and shake, fuckfuckfuck. I grab a towel from yesterday when I showered before bed and put it over my cuts quickly. "Y-yeah?" I say shakily instantly regretting everything now. "Let me in" he says knocking on the door lightly and my heart skips a beat. "W-what do you want?" I reply feeling my mouth go dry. "I wanna cuddle you. Are you OK? You sound sick baby" he says and I can't help but blush and get butterflies. "Umm.. hold on" I say pulling the now blood soaked towel off and hiding it in my hamper and putting on black sweatpants. I open my door and lay in bed. "Come in" I say and he comes in smiling and cuddles up to me. "Hi" he smiles "Are you OK?" he asks and I nod burying my face in his neck. I feel him smile and kiss my forehead. How did I get so lucky..? Why do I continue to do this when I have him..? Should I tell him.. he might be mad but he'll be even madder if he finds out and by accident. Screw it..
"Hey Dan..?"
"Yeah?"
"I did it again..." I say looking down and biting my lip nervously. I feel him tense a bit. Fuck..
He moves away and leaves the room slamming my door. I fucked up.. big time
YOU ARE READING
No Homo
FanfictionWhat happens when Phil grows feelings for Dan? Will he hide them as long as possible or just come out and say how he feels? How will Dan react? This isn't the only secret Phil's keeping from Dan. Will the friendship last? Or become something more...
