Enemies (Mysterion x Reader)

Cult

You made yourself sick the next morning overthinking and wracking your brain for all the names you could think of that could start with 'Vi'.

You're upset, not just that he was thinking of someone else, but that at one point you were too.

The audacity and hypocrisy of shunning him for doing the same thing you were felt just as bad.

Your phone lights up with pleading messages and missed calls from Kenny that you weren't ready to answer. You need to channel your rage and hurt as soon as possible. You mute him and message Professor Chaos.

V: have the holding cell ready tonight.

Professor Chaos🐹💙: Ur bringing mysterion in???
Professor Chaos🐹💙: Whoopie!!!!

Kenny

"Fuck!"

Kenny tossed his phone on his bed and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, tense with stress.

Y/N wasn't answering him. What would he even say if she did answer?

His heart beat fast in a panic as he realized he may have lost her for good. He needed to remove himself from the situation before he would do something drastic.

Kenny donned his Mysterion costume and slipped out the window. Maybe roaming the city tonight would do him some good.

...

He wasn't out for long when he overheard an interesting conversation.

"Do you think 'he who cannot die' is coming soon to kill all the conformists?"

"God I hope so."

Are the goth kids talking about me?

Mysterion startles the tallest one by landing on his feet behind him.

"You made me drop my cigarette, asshole."

"Tell me what you know about 'he who cannot die'," he growled.

"You mean the sacrifice for Cthulhu? Just sign up for the fucking newsletter poser."

Mysterion was taken aback, "What newsletter?"

The fat girl next to him rolled her eyes, "Jim McElroy's. He holds the Cult of Cthulhu service at his house on Fridays." She takes a long drag off her cigarette and snaps " It's all on the website go find it yourself."

Mysterion disappears into the night and not willing to waste any more time opens his phone. He pulls up the Cult of Chtulhu Colorado chapter website and signs up for the newsletter while reading the website's 'about' page.

That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons, even death may die.

Kenny's phone buzzed and he quickly rushed to the notification hoping it was Y/N. But to his dismay, it was only the latest update of the newsletter.

Dearest members and beloved Patreons,

It's the time you've all been waiting for!

I have recently been contacted by an anonymous source stating that the dark lord will arise within the coming week!

Anonymous says as long as we 'respect his authoritay', he will sacrifice the immortal to keep the dark lord on earth forever!

Our anonymous friend has the money to bribe the new president of DP Oil to drill into the Gulf again. The hole it creates will free the dark lord long enough to attract the immortal boy.

*Also- a gentle reminder that membership dues are collected at the end of the month

This wasn't Chaos's usual M.O. He had no desire for world domination only disruption of the status quo. No, this had to be the work of a more devious mind.

The Coon.

Mysterion knew from his encounters with him that the Coon had a god complex and would no doubt use manipulative tactics on the creature to control it.

But what did the newsletter mean by sacrificing an immortal boy? Are they talking about me? If the Coon knows I'm immortal does that mean he knows my identity?

His heart began to race wondering if any of this could put Y/N in danger. Even if she never wanted to talk to him again, he promised her that he would always protect her.

His chest felt heavy, everything felt wrong without her. He sent another text.

Kenny💜: Y/N pls call me. I miss u

No answer.

The silence was broken by the sound of a woman screaming.

...

You discovered Mr. Broflovski's secret addiction when you caught him cheesing in the abandoned warehouse one night and knew the blackmail would come in handy someday.

What could be more scandalous than one of South Park's arms of justice being a dirty junkie? Gerald would do anything to keep it under wraps, including helping you stage a fake robbery to trap Mysterion.

"Is all this really necessary? The ski mask and everything?"

You dangle the small vial of cat piss before his face, "Do you want to see the land of boobies again or not?"

Gerald promptly dons the mask and awkwardly approaches an oblivious Laura Tucker alone on the streets. You shake your head at how clumsy the interaction was. Mr. Broflovski was no seasoned criminal.

Just as you suspected, Mysterion comes to her rescue at the first scream she makes.

When Gerald eventually takes off in fear, Mysterion drops his guard to comfort Laura. While he's distracted you emerge from the alley sending poor Laura running for the hills.

Before he can turn around, you pinch a nerve in his neck from behind instantly knocking him out. Having strategically staged the scene close to Chaos's base, you're able to drag his body through the back entrance.

Plan complete.

Kenny

When Kenny awoke he felt sore all over.

The lights above him shone bright. Almost blinding. He got to his feet but had barely enough room to turn around when he hit steel prison bars finding himself trapped in a caged-off room.

He flinched hearing a familiar melodic laugh above him.

Viper smiled wide standing next to an even more pleased Professor Chaos.

"Gee wiz Viper! I can't believe you did it! You're gonna get a smiley face sticker on your chart for that!"

Chaos was fidgeting out of joy, "I'm gonna call the Coon right away! Stay here and watch him pretty please?"

Viper nodded and soon they were alone. 

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;3