Love & War

Ch.16

A/N: ****BEFORE YOU READ, I WANTED TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ALCOHOL/DRUG USAGE. IF YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE READING THIS CONTENT, THEN I WOULD STRONGLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU DECIDE TO READ THIS CHAPTER AND COMMENT, PLEASE DO SO RESPECTFULLY.****

Olivia's P.O.V

I was lying down in a hospital bed as Spencer and I were nervously waiting for the results. He was sitting by my side, holding my hand, and from the look in his eyes, it was full of regret from our conversation earlier.

"Liv. I'm so sorry-" I cut him off.

"Spencer. Don't. I don't want to hear anything from you right now. I want to hear back from the doctor. We'll deal with our conversation. If you wanna help, please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He said as he kissed my hand.

A few minutes later, the doctor walks in and we're both eager to see what he has to say.

"Hello, Mrs. James. We were able to get your test results back sooner than expected, and unfortunately from what I'm seeing here, we're so sorry."

"What is it?" I asked him.

"You had a miscarriage, Mrs. James."

My heart dropped when the word miscarriage was spoken. I thought this was a nightmare, but no, this is for real. I was pregnant with Spencer's baby. We were making so much progress in our marriage until today, and hearing this news felt like the final nail in the coffin.

"No! No! No! No!" I yelled as tears fell from my face. This can't be happening!"

"What was the cause of the miscarriage doctor?" Spencer asked.

"Based on the results, Mrs. James, your PSS (Perceived Stress Scale) levels were highly elevated and the cause of this miscarriage Mrs. James, was you being extremely stressed and have had multiple anxiety attacks. Have there been times when you felt stressed or anxious this past month?"

I couldn't answer the doctor as my emotions were still all over the place. He indicated that I was.

"Mrs. James, if you or your husband need anything, we have resources for you guys in our hospital."

Spencer nodded his head as he comforted me over the devastating news.

What is wrong with me? why does this happen to me? I can never be happy. I honestly don't know how me and Spencer are going to get through this.
------------------------------------------------------
Spencer's P.O.V.

It's been a week since news broke out that Liv had a miscarriage. I didn't even know that she was pregnant; she didn't either.

This is all my fault. I caused Liv to feel stressed and anxious and it cost us our baby.

She's been lying down in our room a lot. We didn't want to tell Gianna and Kiara about this, so I just decided to tell them that Mommy wasn't feeling well and needed some time to herself. I took care of them while Liv was alone trying to recover from this devastating news.

There would be nights when should be crying in the bedroom or when she is in the shower, she pretends that she is ok, but she's not.

I had my mom look after the kids right now. I needed some alone time with Liv. I needed to be there for her right now.

When I walked into the bedroom, I saw a bunch of tissues all over the floor, and when Liv turned around she was holding a picture of Gianna when she was first born.

"Liv. How are you holding up?"

"What do you think Spencer? I lost our baby. I wasn't strong enough for him or her."