Ch.20

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A/N: As promised, here is the next chapter of Love & War.

****PLEASE READ TO THE VERY END.****

Spencer's P.O.V

After another hard day at practice, I really couldn't get out of my head because of how I felt about Olivia. So I decided to write another letter to help let out my emotions about how I was feeling.

Dear Olivia,

I know it's been a while since the last letter I wrote to you. It took me a minute, but I found my joy. Yeah, that's the word for it. I'm feeling a lot better than I am now. Who knew looking into reality for a few minutes made you understand what you currently have in life? Gianna and Kiara decided to follow in your footsteps when you were younger and take ballet classes. When I saw them at rehearsals and dance recitals, I recorded every one of them, just for you. I know they miss you like crazy, but assure them every time Mommy will always love you both and will be home soon.

And speaking of our family, I passed by one of the family photos we have up in the house. It was the day Kiara was born. Gianna held her baby sister in her arms while we were next to them. That day, I took a moment for myself to take this all in. I recently visited my dad at his grave and told him about our family. I remember when we were teenagers and you met him for the first time. The look in his eyes showed how much he really liked you. He saw what kind of friendship we had built. And I didn't tell you this because I felt embarrassed and was hoping you didn't feel embarrassed for me too at that time, but I remember he said, "If I could see anyone being with my son in the future, it would be you, Olivia. You always bring out the best in my son, no matter what kind of day he's having." I'm sorry if he pressured you, Liv, but look at us back then in this photo. Who knew we'd be here? Gianna and Kiara would've loved their grandpa, Corey. I know he's over all of us from above. He did tell me to make them a priority, and I always will. I also want you to know that you're my priority. I'm sorry for not showing it lately. I turned into someone you didn't recognize. I won't make that mistake again. I love you, Olivia. I always will.

Love, Spencer

As I took one final breath, looking back at my first appointment with Dr. Spears, he was right; me writing these letters to Olivia has helped me this past month.

When I finished sealing the letter in the envelope, I heard a knock on my door.

"Alicia. Glad you decided to come."

"Yeah, well, we both needed to get some things off our chests, so I think it's best we be honest with each other."

We both stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Alicia-." "Spencer-." We said each other's names at the same time.

"I'm sorry. You go first."

"Spencer. I want to be honest with you. I enjoy the time we spend together, and I'm glad I was able to help you during this time, but I'm trying to get attached. My last relationship was very painful, and I thought I had found my other half. We were engaged, and then one night, everything changed."

"What happened?"

"I found him in bed with another woman."

"Oh wow. I'm so sorry, Alicia."

"Yeah, but you know what they say. The people you love—they're the only ones that can hurt you."

"I've been there, but I'm still working it out."

"My point is; if you want to keep doing this, then that's as far as I'm willing to go."

"I understand. And I thank you for being honest with me, Alicia. As for this, between us. I feel the same way. Yes, I'm married, but there are still a lot of questions that remain unanswered, and I'm sure some of them will be resolved. The majority of my family don't talk to me."

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