chapter 20

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Prapai's POV

"If you see me come within five feet of whiskey again, feel free to slap me." I forced myself to sit up so I could take the proffered water and pastéis.

"Whoever invented shitty drinks deserves to be shot."
His eyes glittered with mirth.

"I've never seen you so hungover or disheveled. I should take a picture. Otherwise, no one will believe me."

"Funny. Rub it in, why don't you?" I brought the water to my lips, but I was so disoriented I spilled some of it over my shirt. I bit out a colorful curse.

Sky's entire body shook. "Priceless," he gasped through bouts of laughter. He lifted his phone and snapped a photo, his cheeks creased with a wide grin.

"I swear to God, ky, if I see that photo online, I'll post the one of you sleeping with your mouth open on the train," I threatened, but a reluctant hint of amusement tugged at my mouth. It was hard to stay upset when he was smiling, even if it was at my expense.

"It might be worth it." he wiped the corners of his eyes, his giggles smoothing the last edges of my annoyance.

"You look happy," I said. "I don't remember the last time I made you this happy."
Maybe it was a temporary happiness, but it was happiness all the same.

I'd made him cry enough that seeing him laugh was worth the bruises to my ego.
Sky's humor faded, disappearing into the tension that sparked, sudden and electric, around us.

"I guess that was part of the problem." his sad smile seeped into the cracks of my heart. "There was no clear defining point between the before and after of our marriage. Somewhere along the way, the lines between happiness and resentment got blurred, and here we are."

A lump blocked my throat. "And here we are."
I wished we didn't have to take this road, but part of me was glad we did. As much as sky leaving destroyed me, I would rather suffer through our separation than have his live in silent misery for the rest of our lives. Our divorce had been the shock I desperately needed to get my head out of my ass and realize what was truly important in my life.

I set my food aside and stood. Nerves slowed my pace, but soon I was in front of him, my chest tight and my mouth dry. The jackhammers in my head retreated beneath the ache sweeping through me. Forget the hangover;
nothing hurt more than knowing I'd hurt him. It was knowledge I'd have to live with for the rest of my life, but I hoped our future could overpower the wrongs of our past.

No more hiding. No more running away. It was now or nothing.
"I could tell you didn't believe me because I've spent the better part of the decade living out of my office, but I wasn't there all the time because I loved it. I was there because I was terrified that if I left, it would all crumble down." The admission scraped past the thundering of my pulse. It was a truth I'd avoided facing for too long. I thought money and power could erase my insecurities, but while they'd solved my problems, they also gave rise to new ones.

"Everything I'd worked for, everything I'd achieved. I looked out the window at the city people say I conquered, and I only saw a million more ways I could fail. I thought that if I accumulated enough, I would finally be safe. But here's the thing." I swallowed the emotion scalding my throat.

"I left my office for weeks when I went to phuket and I hardly missed it. But when I came home and found you gone... that night, and every night since, has felt like an eternity. " I miss you. In the deepest, truest sense.

Sky dropped his gaze as I continued. "Maybe I overstepped by waiting for you after your date, but I was drunk and miserable and..." The teeth of agony ate at me. "I needed to see you."

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