His Karina

I hate you

Karina Mariano

It was morning and time for me to de stress from all thats happened in these past few days. Oh and if you're wondering about the entire choking incident well it's been a week since then.

Last week on the same day, was the day that Luca decided to well hurt me physically. That's a new check mark to the list of ways he could possibly hurt me but also something I thought would never happen . Or at least not in that context.

Can I lie and say my heart didn't break into a thousand pieces when that happened? Nope. Because when I tell that after I saw him helping me patch up my wounds I didn't think of the potential between us. I'm serious. I truly did.

Call me delusional but to be fair he was one of my first crushes as a kid and he still... scratch that used to have an effect on me. Truthfully speaking I bet you must be wondering how I'm so casual about this entire situation. Let's just say that I got no tears left to cry and frankly I would much rather not waste them on him anyway.

Any possibility between us is now over.

I completely forgot to explain how it all really went down that day.

That day I passed out. The choking had been so harsh and painful that my body couldn't handle it and I just fainted. Luckily though I had somehow (probably Luca himself) been carried to my room and left on the bed. Maria had given me a glass of water and a bunch of food the moment I woke up.

Ever since then I'd barely seen him and I would like to keep it that way. Recently, I've been helping my friend prepare for a runway show for her brand and to do so I've been training her a bit which is why I haven't been around.

I'm so glad for that though because facing him is something I would like to refrain from doing and is the least of my priorities. The truth is he broke me first and now he deserves to live with the consequences. I don't know why he reacted like that but when I tell you I was scared I really mean it. I was truly petrified for my life and mostly for my brother... I couldn't leave him alone.

Maybe if Luca's conscience hadn't interrupted that day I may not even be alive right now. I know that what I said was incorrect but I didn't mean it. It was one of those heat of the moment things. I would've apologized that minute but I didn't get the chance to, since you know well yeah.

Adrian came back yesterday and although it isn't his fault I can't help but be mad at him too. It could just be my mood swings... period problems. But I genuinely feel like he owes me an explanation too.  What makes me even more mad though is that ever since he's left from home he hasn't bothered to call me even once and I'm sure he knows about the gun incident.

I highly doubt Luca would've told him about the choking thing but I'm sure he knows about the entire thing outside the mall last week. I don't know why but it feels like everyone around me is betraying me.... from my friends to my acquaintances to my own brother.

It maybe slightly dramatic but in my entire life, others make mistakes but I'm the one it effects. The number of incidents where people around me have done something wrong but I'm the one who has to face the consequences is rather hysterical. I just want to sleep.

You always need to sleep Karina

Oh give me a break! Alright, back to reality I'm going to a spa with my best friend/soulmate Iri.... she has truly been there for me during this entire rollercoaster of a week. Without her god knows what I would do. She means so much to me I can't even express it in words.

I got dressed in blue denim jeans along with a white cropped full sleeve T-shirt, topping off the look with some black converses. Picking up my bag I ran down the stairs. I hurriedly grabbed an apple to eat en route.