Afraid To Lose

6. Different

Hallie POV

I close my eyes as his lips caress my neck.  I feel the zipper on my dress lower followed by his fingertips lightly gliding over the skin of my bare back.

His lips begin a painfully slow journey down my spine causing me to arch my back and moan softly at the feeling. I had never felt anything like this. I turn my face to look at him and...............

"What the........" I exclaim sitting bolt up right in the bed once again covered in a film of sweat only this time it's not a cold sweat. Confusion is not the word while I was grateful to not have a nightmare I had no idea why I was having these dreams.

"I'm here babygirl.....you're ok" Joe says wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh it wasn't.........I didn't...........I'm alright" I say I just need the bathroom

Without another word a jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom locking the door behind me. I had no idea what to tell him and I certainly couldn't tell him the truth.

This was the third such dream since I'd been on the road with him. Sure I was still having nightmares but something was different, these new dreams kept creeping in and I couldn't explain them.

"Hallie are you sure you're alright?" He asks through the door

"Yeah fine" I call back as fake flush the toilet and then open the door.

For a moment I just look at him, his eyes sleepy, his hair a little wild and a soft smile on his lips. And then I wonder, if I were to lean up and kiss him now would it feel like it did in my dream? And of it did what would that mean.

"Is my hair all crazy again?" He chuckles

"Huh.....oh yeah just a little" I smile

"So what was the non nightmare about?" He asks "it seemed to get a little discombobulated"

"Oh erm nothing really" I say "I'm just not used to having good dreams, they've been creeping in just lately"

"I'd say that's a good thing" he says wrapping an arm around my shoulders and guiding me back to the bed "don't be afraid to let yourself enjoy the good dreams babygirl"

Oh if only you knew I think to myself you would probably be as embarrassed as me right now.

====================

After an all to brief sleep it was time for Joe to get up and face his working day. He and the guys and figured out some kind of rota to makes sure I was never on my own and today company was Jon.

"Alright you have fun with Jon and I will see you real soon" he says kissing my forehead and there is that feeling again.

Before I can think he's left and Jon has walked in. With big smile he plops himself down on the bed and beckons for me to join him.

"I don't think so" I say hesitantly

"What?............oh!..............nnnnnoooooooo I didn't mean it in that way I just wanted to you sit with me so we could plan our day...........sorry sugarplum" he says

"No I should be sorry I shouldn't have assumed" I say sitting next to him "this may be a little weird but can I try something with you?"

"Sure" he shrugs, slowly I lean in a touch my lips to his, he doesn't kiss me back and that's a good thing, when I pull back he has a shell shocked look on his face.

"Nope nothing" I say confused

"What was...........what's going...........what do you mean nothing?" He asks

"I'm trying to figure something out" I say "I've been having these dreams about this guy and when he kisses me it feels a certain way. Just lately when I've kissed some one I feel nothing so I'm trying to figure out why I do in my dream........is this making any sense?"

"Perfect sense" he grins "it feels some kind of way with dream boat because you feel something for him, whereas you don't seen me that way and you weren't attracted to the other guys so you feel nothing"

"But that's impossible............I couldn't possibly............could I?" I say "Oh man this is so confusing"

"It's really not" he says "when you put the pieces together it will make perfect sense. And when that happens for the love of all that is holy tell the poor fool"

"I need to fix myself before I inflict myself on someone" I chuckle "besides I'm not sure it means what you think it does. It can't"

"How about we head out, have some fun and you forget about it for a while?" He asks "you can go back to it later with a clearer head"

"That sounds good thanks Jon" I smile

"Any time sugar plum" he says "now get your glad rags on you and I are going to show the world how to have fun"