Afraid To Lose

15. Blur

Joe POV

Sitting in the conference room infront of a sea of people, everyone talking at once and blinded by the flashing of cameras I just couldn't focus.

I wanted to be anywhere but here, in fact I wanted to be where I woke up this morning. In Hallie's arms, my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat. I was safe there, none of these people could get to me there.

Looking down at the desk I close my eyes and try to drown everything out as Dr Stenson begins to talk. With all the noise I can't hear a word he's saying.

I focus my thoughts on Hallie, the love of my life and somehow I can feel her arms wrapping around my shoulders and her soft lips against my cheek and a feeling of calm washes over me.

In that moment I knew, she may not be with me in person but she's with me in spirit, in my heart. This was just as hard for her but we were going to come out of the other side of this stronger than ever.

"So in conclusion it is completely impossible for Mr Anoa'i to be the father of Miss Devan's child" the Dr says as I zone back into the room

"Does Mr Anoa'i have anything to say" a member of the press calls out and I look up

"Only that I want to thank my girlfriend Hallie for being so supportive over this. She has never once doubted me and has continued to love me and I know I'm truly blessed to have her in my life. Hallie if you're watching I love you forever babygirl" I say "further more Miss Devan should be aware that I have obtained legal advice and if she continues to slander me and make false accusations she will here from my lawyer"

"If Hallie is so supportive why isn't she here" someone else asks

"Given that my girlfriend is not in the public eye I think it's only right her privacy is protected" I say "I see no reason to subject to this wolf pack, this is between myself and Miss Devan and that's how it will stay"

"Joe can we expect wedding bells and the patter of tiny feet for you and Hallie anytime soon?"

Hallie POV

I hold my breath as I wait for Joe to answer the question. His face filling the screen as he begins to smile and I find myself smiling with him.

"I hope one day when this is all over that Hallie and I will be able to focus on our future. I want Hallie to be a permanent fixture in my life, I would be honoured to have her as my wife and the mother of my children" he says pausing for a moment "we will get there one day but for now we are just enjoying the journey. I do ask that after this you all respect of privacy and let us live our lives peacefully"

I was gobsmacked, I had no words for I had just heard him say. Of course I wanted those things with him but for some reason the idea of taking it slow no longer appealed to me.

More than anything I wanted to see him smiling properly again. He has a beautiful smile and I missed it.

As the camera focuses on his face I place my hand on his cheek on the screen and sigh. He looked so tired, so beaten and I didn't know how to make this better for him.

As the conference ends I turn off the TV and pick up my phone to call him but he beats me to it.

"Hey babygirl I just needed to hear your voice" he says as I answer

"Hey baby that looked really tough" I say

"You were watching?" He asks

"Yeah I was" I smile "I love you forever too"

"What I said............please don't think I'm trying to put any pressure on you. I just wanted to be honest with my answers and I wanted the world to know how committed I am to you" he says "I'm sorry if I went to far"

"You didn't" I say "I liked what you said and I feel the same. Maybe............maybe I've been cautious long enough"

"Let's talk about this when I get back" he says "I want to look in your eyes when you say this to me, I want to be sure that you're sure"

"Alright I'll see you when you get here" I say sadly

"See you soon" he says "Love you forever babygirl"

"Love you forever Joe" I reply as the call ends.

Putting my phone down and sitting on the bed I felt a little disheartened. I knew I meant it but he didn't believe me. Was it always going to be like this? Him needing proof that I meant what I was saying, him never being able to just take my word for it?

More worrying if he ever proposed would he believe me if I say yes? Because I absolutely would say yes, I wouldn't need to think twice. Joe is my forever I just need him to believe that he is.